Mod encouragement?

[Sillygrits]

Well, I thought I had a plan. I was gonna drink 2 beers, water, 2 more beers, water...

I thought I was in control but I think I really upset me mom and worried my boyfriend. Its been the first time they have seen me drink more than 2 beers since my rock bottom day 1 month ago.

I feel ok this morning physically but I feel like I let everyone down. I just hate not being "normal" and having another struggle to face throughout my life. It just gets very discouraging.

Anyway, I guess what I am asking is did any of you have set backs during mods and were you able to move on? Just feeling a bit down this morning.

[paranoid]

Mod encouragement?

Hi, it's been awhile since I have been on. I can relate to what you are saying though. Yes I did have a set back yesterday and I don't know how to get past it either. I didn't go way overboard, I would say I had 3 glasses of wine and then once home I had a few more. Which all together was about one bottle of wine myself. I really don't feel too bad except the guilt and the tiredness.
I am going to start by making myself get up and do all of my regular routines and I will go and workout and get past it.
I need to find a way to be around my friends without it turning into a drinking fest. I love my friends and want to be with them, but it is starting to get out of control again. I know that my husband will be mad at me for worrying about it, because I didn't technically do too much wrong. But I just don't like that feeling of being a little fuzzy about things. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and that you just need to jump back into the right swing of things and this will blow over. :l

[Sillygrits]

Mod encouragement?

Good to know I'm not alone. I understand about the fuzziness.....it sucks to not remember everything you do. We both will make it through....do you take any medications to help with cravings?

[paranoid]

Mod encouragement?

I am not taking any supplements at the time, but I do want to get started. I just need to find a way to not get into the situation of having excessive drink around. I don't drink when I am alone, so that's not the prob for me.
What are you taking?

[Sillygrits]

Mod encouragement?

I'm currently taking Chantix to help with cravings although I'm not sure it is helping a lot. I feel off the wagon again last night. I do drink alone which is a big problem. I like to hide my drinking so that my family and friends don't have to worry about me. However, no matter how hard I try to hide it I end up getting drunk and someone finds out. ARGH!! I am thinking mods won't work for me, or at least not for a long time. I just can't seem to stop one I started. I am thinking of ordering the Kudzu and L-glutamine.

[treeman]

Mod encouragement?

SGrits,
Hang in there.....
I needed to go 30 AF so that I knew how to act being without a beer. Remember this is a change in lifestyle for you. You don't just forget how you did things before, it takes training and re-training.

I have found the Gaba, l-glute to help with the cravings and urges. But these are subtle. I still needed to think a lot about my decisions. I still don't put myself in situations where I am destined to fail. I think that is the biggest accomplishment towards Moderating for me: I realize how I can fail and I make a decision not to. It's fun to boss myself around.

So, Grits. Find what will work for you. But stay on top of it and control your own life.

[Croft]

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I too have to stay on top of it. I can't let my gaurd down ever.

[Larry]

Mod encouragement?

I need some advice on reducing my drinking. It is getting out of control

[Muddle]

Mod encouragement?

Sillygrits, having AF beer around has helped me in moderating.* Red wine seems to be my downfall.* I think I have a plan and then after the first couple of glasses it falls apart.* But I've been able to stop before it gets to a full bottle.* I know I never would have been able to get that much control back without this site.Larry, I'm too new to offer advice, except to say this place has been a god send and given me hope and some self-respect back for the first time in a long time. Glad you are here.

[vlad]

Mod encouragement?

I have times like this too, it happens. I'll go several months modding quite happily and then screw up. I had a time recently were we'd been down to my mother-in-law's for her birthday. As usual she'd insisted on buying a crate of beer for us (I make a rule of not buying crates at home) so of course I drank a lot more than I should have done - not discounting the fact I'd taken a bottle of champagne down too. Woke up Sunday morning (no hangover though) feeling quite guilty and feeling that I'd upset my hubby's mum. When my husband asked if I'd enjoyed myself I explained I felt uncomfortable about the amount I'd drunk - my husband said to me 'You didn't drink that much and you didn't seem drunk and you didn't upset my mum - why do you feel uncomfortable?'

I did feel a little better when he said this but I just knew I'd drunk more than I'd wanted to and I'd let myself down!!!

[Saint Jude]

Mod encouragement?

I went way overboard when we were on vacation last April @ Hubby's folk's (we were staying with them for 2 weeks).
MIL always has plenty of wine on hand & I indulged way too much, and drank myself sick. I was so embarrassed.

I hate when I do that crap.

It does seem extra hard when your vacationing, & eating out... but still no excuse to drink yourself sick & ruin a chunk of your trip! Hoping someday I'll learn!

[Cherbear]

Mod encouragement?

Hi everyone, I had joined the 30 ABsters but have found myself moderating instead. I've only had 6 drinks in 16 days?! I want to find out if you all found you really needed to do 30 days AF first.??
AM I just a weakling, but I've found it not that hard right now to really moderate??
I need some advice??

[boozehag]

Mod encouragement?

Yep I sure did and when I got to 30 I had a couple of drinks (mainly to see if I could drink without smoking which I had also given up - weird I know but had to be done!) and then decided to go for 60 days and once I hit the 60 days I have been moderating since - coming up to 90 days at the end of this month.
No one can tell you what is right for you - only you know that and of course some of us may have been in a much worse place than others starting off so dont really have a choice about it. If you feel you can moderate then go for it - no harm in trying. Just hang out here with us - or you can still join with the Abbers though if you want - lots of them stop and start on their way to 30 days.
BH (no more)

[Ask For Help]

Mod encouragement?

Hi CherBear:
Good question whether you have to do 30 days AF first. I didn't. Came here to moderate, read a lot, jumped on a 30 day group on Jan 1st, but just didn't quite see the point for me, since my goal wasn't AF.

I did spend the first 30 days "attending to" why I drank, how much satisfied me, what were my triggers, how did I feel before, during, after, etc. and how did I feel during AF days etc etc. was VERY IMPORTANT to my eventual modding. I also stopped any drinking at home, which was where I had done most of my drinking.

So I set goal much like you are doing, of keeping track of how many AF days I could collect in 30 days. You're noticing how many drinks in how many days (darn few! :goodjob.

So yes, I think you can find your own way, if you are willing to be honest with yourself and try to learn a lot of the tricks and behaviors that the Abbers do, cuz it's got to be a lifestyle change in order to stick.

Let us know how we can help.
G

[Luvwins]

Mod encouragement?

30 day AB trial vs immediate modding

Cherbear: Curious how thing are going for you now. I have been following the ABs threads since end of May but not quite jumped in because modding is my goal and 30 d AF seemed almost a barrier to that......
Feel now like I have had modding success: After some increased stupid drinking the beginning of June (I think that illogical tendency to make things worse before you actually act to make things better), the last two weeks have been much better than before. Now I actually have 3 of the last 4 days AF after nearly daily drinking. It is very self-reinforcing.

Thanks boozehag and askfor help for your comments. Especially about the fact that we all start from different places and that one helpful strategy is to be completely mindful about drinking and not drinking (my paraphrase of your words)