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    #1

    New to the group

    Hi everyone.
    Well, i woke up this morning feeling fuzzy and depressed at my lack of control. I am a secretive drinker. Always drink in moderation around others, but when i'm alone i can't stop. I do this on average twice a week. The other days i abstain completely. I hate myself for doing this but just dont seem to be able to stop. Can moderation really work?
    It's like i have this love affair with it. It is my escape. While i'm drinking i feel better. The next day i feel terrible! Anyone else out there feel this way?
    Any help or advise would be much appreciated.
    Tags: None
    #2
    New to the group

    Hi ricecake, glad you found us - everyone's story is different and only you will know whether moderation can work for you. I'd read through some posts and find out about what other people are doing, some are abstaining completely with help of supps. I personally am moderating and I've set myself a moderation plan that has worked for me for the last 6 months. I too in the past would drink excessively one day, next day abstain and then the day after drink excessively again. I've made myself strict rules so that I don't slip, one of them being - don't buy vodka to drink in the house! Stick with us and I'm sure you'll find the encouragement and support you need.
    Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

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      #3
      New to the group

      Thank you Vlad!

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        #4
        New to the group

        Hi Ricecake,
        If you can abstain several nights per week you have already made a good start. 2 nights binge is like your release. Is there some sort of exercise that could give you that same feeling of release?

        Welcome to the site.:welcome:
        Enough is enough

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          #5
          New to the group

          Hi Ricecake

          Welcome to MWO. Only you can decide if moderation can work for you. I abstain and then try to mod but can never stop at 1. You need to realise what makes you drink more when you are by yourself? Is there any particular days that you drink ? If so then can you change your routine on those days. Find something to occupy your mind.

          Keep reading & posting.

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            #6
            New to the group

            Hi Rice,

            Me too. If I have one I'll have 5. What really has helped me is NOT HAVING IT IN THE HOUSE. My poison is red wine. Then I occupy myself when I usually like to drink. After the hour or 2 passes, I'm over it. Also, I find that when I am HUNGRY I usually binge on an empty stomach. So, what I do now is EAT if I get the urge for a drink. Even downing water to get my stomach that full feeling curtails it. Like everyone said, you have to find what works for you. Good luck and welcome!

            Michaela
            :beach: "You can't go uphill thinking downhill thoughts"
            AF since 10/11/2008

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              #7
              New to the group

              welcome

              Just wanted to welcome u to the site. If I drink one beer, I'll drink close to 20, so moderation is not in the cards for me. It is a personal decision. Whatever u choose, the people here are loving and supportive. Best wishes on your journey.
              "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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                #8
                New to the group

                Michaela,

                I noticed the same thing about eating. When I was dieting I had a certain amount of alcohol I allowed myself and my food already planned for the day. I would find that sometimes when I wanted a drink I would eat instead and the feeling passed.

                Then I got to my target weight, stopped planning so much and have been more inclined to go for the drink when actually food would probably do just as well.

                Thanks for making me realize that.

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                  #9
                  New to the group

                  Alcohol is an appetite suppressant - thats why if you drink on an empty stomach its like rocket fuel to the brain. well it was in my case. If I was drinking or planning to drink I would never eat. Eating is cheating after all. Now that I am moderating I make sure that if I have a drink I have something to eat with it before the buzz gets a chance to kick in cos then its all over rover. I accidentally missed out on eating recently and boy I was down that slippery slope so quick.... lucky I had my teenage daughter to beat me up and keep me on the straight and narrow. Also seeing as I have been AF more or less for over 3 months it hit me so quick. I used to have huge tolerance now I obviously have none so I have to be very vigilant with the moderating. I only ever have a drink if I go out. I never buy any or keep any at home - I am totally used to that now and it doesnt bother me at all. I just have to be careful when I am out that I make sure I eat so I dont go mental.....
                  BH

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                    #10
                    New to the group

                    boozehag - do you really feel your tolerance has gone down? I always heard that does not happen. I would love to be drunk and sleepy after a couple of glasses of wine

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                      #11
                      New to the group

                      Absolutely after over 3 months with hardly any AL two glasses of wine on an empty stomach (by accident) and I was flying it...... I had 4 drinks and had bummed a ciggy from a stranger before my daughter got hold of me and abused the hell out of me and made me see sense. Thank god.
                      Before I could have had 2+ bottles of wine and still be standing and talking (rubbish of course) but still standing. I dont mean that I would have stopped drinking and went to sleep I would have kept going and going but it just hit me way quicker than previously. Wont be doing that again in a hurry.
                      BH

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                        #12
                        New to the group

                        ricecake;355282 wrote: While i'm drinking i feel better. The next day i feel terrible! Anyone else out there feel this way?
                        That is the way I felt. I loved the feeling while drinking. I had my greatest thoughts and aspirations while drinking. I felt confident and ambitious while drinking. Nothing bothered me while I was drinking.

                        The next day each and every one of these 'so called' positive feelings were completely squashed with dread, depression, anxiety and a lot of the time feeling guilty and ashamed. The complete opposite of what I felt the night before.

                        Moderation can work for many people. We have some great people here who moderate very well.

                        I am not one of them. Too much of a die hard. I Like to drink to get drunk.

                        Welcome to MWO!

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                          #13
                          New to the group

                          I have found what Boozehag said to be true. When I know I'm going to be in a slippery situation and know I'll be drinking, like going to a party, I try to eat a small balanced meal before I even leave the house. When I'm hungry or dehydrated plus have "party anxiety" I get drunk really fast and just lose control. Now if I can only remember to follow my own advice!
                          "As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
                          Nelson Mandela

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                            #14
                            New to the group

                            Tolerance

                            I have noticed no change in tolerance. I was 10 days af in May, 21 in June, and a fricking mess since then. Sorry if that is not good news. I will get back on board soon. But nothing has changed for me in that regard; wish it had. I guess not enough time.

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                              #15
                              New to the group

                              boozehag;360081 wrote: Absolutely after over 3 months with hardly any AL two glasses of wine on an empty stomach (by accident) and I was flying it...... I had 4 drinks and had bummed a ciggy from a stranger ...
                              Before I could have had 2+ bottles of wine and still be standing and talking (rubbish of course) but still standing.
                              BH
                              BH,

                              I guess what I was thinking is that if I got drunk and stupid on 4 drinks instead of 2 bottles my social life probably wouldn't improve, but it would be a LOT better for my health.

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