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    #1

    New to this forum -- have a question

    Hello
    I joined MWO back in march and i've been trying to do 30 days ever since but haven't been able to. i did 21 days in june but july was awful. i went to naturopathic dr. she also does counseling and she thought that maybe going cold turkey for 30 days was not for me so she helped me figure out another plan which is no alcohol in the house, and since i go out 2 times a week i can have 1-2 drinks. has anyone else experienced trying to do 30 days and not being able to accomplish it and then trying to moderate instead? if so were you successful at moderating? right now i feel like drinking so badly but i'm not going out tonight so i'm not drinking. this is so difficult, i'm taking the kudzu today and the L-Glut so i'm praying these strong feelings go away.
    :lilheart: "Love is large, love defies limits. People talk about the sanctity of love...love is by definition sacred. Not some love between some people but all love between all people"
    ~Jennifer Beals~:huggy
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    #2
    New to this forum -- have a question

    I really think that "moderating" the alcohol is inconsistent with the kind of extremely strong cravings that you are describing... RJ describes it like this: you can drink moderately if/when your desire for alcohol is like your desire for butter; it is something nice to have once in a while, but not something you spend a lot of time thinking about and planning to consume...

    It's good that you are here... you will get many different opinions about this, and also a lot of support. I recommend that you read the MWO book and develop a solid plan to reach your goals (and your goals might change, along the way)...

    best wishes,

    wip

    Comment

      #3
      New to this forum -- have a question

      1more ~ I don't want to sound negative here, but I don't think your doc fully understands the program. To me, if someone can't commit to at least 30 days, then they have too big of a problem to try to successfully implement a Mod program. This is just my opinion and only cause you asked.

      There are too many people here who say they Mod when it's very clear that they still have a problem with AL. I think it just makes them feel better to say that they Mod instead of facing the real truth.

      To me if anyone is always thinking about AL they have a problem. Telling yourself it's ok to have a craving because you are gonna get your drink later anyway is not a healthy relationship with AL. And that's how I feel a lot of Modders here think. If a self declared "Modder" planned on drinking at any given time and was told last minute "no you aren't going to drink" and they become upset than they clearly are not drinking in moderation! They still feel that need or want. They are not thinking in a "take it or leave it" approach.
      AL is very tricky!

      We are here to support each other and discuss our issues. And we all have to find our own way out! But I think some take this too far and by doing so they keep trying to find the loopholes that will allow them to drink.

      Please do not be fooled by a lot of misinformation being posted about how to Mod. Please rely on the information that RJ has written about.

      Again, this is just my opinion.

      Also, there is a great thread out there by a member named Believe regarding Mods. It's in General Discussion (it's a couple of weeks old, so I will try to find it and bump it up for you). Please take the time to read it. It might help.

      If you are finding that the approach you are using is working for you, than great. I can only ask that you be very careful. I wish you the very best of luck.

      Love, Me
      :l
      Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

      Comment

        #4
        New to this forum -- have a question

        Found Believe's thread and bumped it up for you. It's called "Trying My Luck".

        Best of luck to you, 1more. We are here for you.
        Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

        Comment

          #5
          New to this forum -- have a question

          sorry would love to help but i did it cold turkey with no slips at all going on 9 months 13 days ..all i can say is that you can do anything you put your mind to.. as long as you are ready and willing to do what ever it takes to get where you want in life .. stay strong and think positive .. you can do this
          :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
          best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

          Comment

            #6
            New to this forum -- have a question

            I also say a good strong 30 days, if not 60 before even thinking of moderating.
            My opinion from what I got out of RJ's book and using IT as a guideline along with the supps and cds.

            Keep reading and posting. !!
            workout:chick:mwo2

            It's my world to make now...cuz I found my way out.

            Comment

              #7
              New to this forum -- have a question

              Hello! I have to agree that the 30 days are really tough but in the end, a huge help in getting a handle on this problem. Around 21-22 days I was really pissed, feeling deprived, just waiting for day 30 to roll around so it was "okay" to try to drink. And when it did roll around, it really did just roll. On day 33 I had one glass of wine to celebrate wedding anniversary. I didn't even finish the glass, because A. I don't like wine B. I was really, truly looking forward to waking up the next morning clear headed and proud. I no longer look at the clock waiting for 5 to roll around. What helped me there was getting out of the house before the witching hour, because if I was there at that time, the pull would have been too strong. I'd schedule things like haircuts, vet appts., dr. appt. as late in the day as possible so I wouldn't be here. Before long, the bad habits starting to retreat to something of the past. Right now it is wonderful to have to check the calendar to see how many hangover free days I've had (mad at myself that I can't count AF days anymore because of that stupid glass of wine!), but I'm at 38 today and feeling so much better and hopeful for a future that doesn't included being ruled by the clock and liquor cabinet.
              Keep taking the supps and when you feel like you're barely hanging in there, get on here and SCREAM! We all know how you are feeling and are here to support.
              :h River
              You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

              Comment

                #8
                New to this forum -- have a question

                I feel you

                Hello,

                My wife is a Dr. of Orientel medicine. She tells me going cold turkey could literally kill you. Your brain has to adapt to the amount of consumption and deal with it that way. I too can't go cold turkey. I have been trying to moderate but some days it just does not work. Here is what I have been trying to do. If you feel like having a drink, have one. Just one to get that feeling you so crave. There is no need to suffer, withdrawel is a bitch so take it slow and give your self time to cut down. Stopping may not be the answer for people like us. It's almost like going vegetarian. I just want to be able to drink with out having to drink. I don't want it to controll me and thats what i'm working on. What do you think?

                Comment

                  #9
                  New to this forum -- have a question

                  1 More Chance,
                  I did exactly the same as you the last 2 months -- 21 days AF in June, then July w as a disaster. (I also did 10 AF days in May but not consecutive). As far as going cold turkey, if you suffer MAJOR withdrawl symptoms, then you may need medical help detoxing. You could always taper down, day by day (3 drinks one day, then 2, then 1, then NONE) but they when uyou are at NONE, probly a good idea to try and stay there for awhile. ANd believe me, I know what a bitch this is -- I am struggling too! But when I kinda skipped around ODATing in May, I knew by early June that I needed a longer stint of time AF.

                  Lunasoft, I too want to "be able to drink without 'having' to drink." But I am not there yet, and I know I need a switchbox of time, or new friends, or exercise, or SOMETHING to help me get there.

                  My 2 cents.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    New to this forum -- have a question

                    Hi, Luna... with all respect to your wife, whether or not a person can safely go "cold turkey" depends a lot on how much and how long that person has been drinking on a daily basis... Some people really need to get medical supervision and medication while quitting... but many, many others quit entirely, with no dangerous withdrawal symptoms at all.

                    I hope you are successful in your plan... I'd suggest you take advantage of the MWO program to change your relationship and behavior with alcohol, as it sounds as if you are saying that it "controls" you. Keep reading, keep posting, let us know how it's going...

                    best wishes,

                    wip

                    Comment

                      #11
                      New to this forum -- have a question

                      1more chance:

                      You asked: has anyone else experienced trying to do 30 days and not being able to accomplish it and then trying to moderate instead? if so were you successful at moderating?

                      I am a person who did not complete 30 days AF and am in my 7th month of successful moderating. I read the book and the suggestion to do 30 days AF: however it didn't fit with my goals: I was more interested in learning how to practice moderation than doing 30 days AF.

                      I found the first month I needed to work hard to successfully "break the daily habit". It took new strategies(as River describes above) as well as paying attention to my triggers and lots of support from here (followed the Montyhy ABS threads) . I also had the help of a counselor (who specializes in addictions) who knew the 30 day program philosophy, but supported me in my goal to moderate. I started Topo and the supps in month 2, cut back on the supps after a couple of months, and am just now trying mods without the Topo. (If I need it I will restart.)

                      I found it important to set clear mods goals, what would success be? (my goal is drinking 1- 2 drinks no more than 3 days/week, for a total of 6 drinks/week.) I use drinktracker to hold myself accountable. I have also lost 22 pounds(with a goal of losing 12 more) and feel terrific and proud of myself.

                      There are many ways out: keep trying. PM me if you like.
                      AFH

                      Comment

                        #12
                        New to this forum -- have a question

                        I am posting again because it was brought to my attention that my post was not helpful advise.

                        I was told that I "made several derogatory statements about modders". And that I was apparently telling 1morechace "don't listen to modders who might suggest another way to do it". And basically that I implied that there was only one way out.

                        As I don't not agree with the above, I do want to apologize if my post insulted anyone. I never said, nor do I feel that I implied that all modders here are the same. I do however stand by what I said. Perhaps not everyone has read all the posts I have read from self proclaimed "modders", or perhaps you haven't been in chat with a hostile drunk claiming to Mod. My opinions are based on what I have witnessed here with SOME members. I never implied that it was ALL members. People just have to be careful when they are looking for loopholes and "permission" to drink.

                        I'm not saying that cutting back can not be done, but very few can do that. Let's be honest here. How many years have so many of us wasted on trying to cut back?

                        And, as already mentioned in my first post, these are just my opinions.

                        It was never my intent to hurt anyone's feelings. My intent was to help. I never implied people should do it my way. I did indeed, refer people to the program outlined in RJ's book.

                        I hope that this clarifies what my intent was.

                        Again, 1morechace... I wish you the best of luck. We are here for you.

                        Love, Me
                        :l
                        Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          New to this forum -- have a question

                          I quit 6 days before finding this site. The support at this site enabled me to go 2 1/2 months Alcohol Free before trying to moderate. I think that going at least 30 days AF is very important. But some people need physiologically and psychologically to cut back slowly, it seems. I found that quitting was easier than cutting back, and quitting again was easier than the moderating I was doing a short time ago. I'm not thinking about alcohol as often if I'm not drinking.

                          That's just my experience. I hpe you keep coming here regularly so you can find Your Way Out.
                          My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            New to this forum -- have a question

                            i really appreciate the feedback and support. i can see that what works for one person might not work for another so there is no right or wrong answer. i did fine saturday after i posted; i found out that when i really feel like drinking it is not a physical need but more of a psychological need and that's what my dr. was trying to explain to me based on what i told her about my drinking pattern. instead of going for AL i did some yoga, completed house work and the thought of wanting to drink was gone. today i was out most of the day, enjoying the sun and a great food and wine festival, believe it or not i did not have the wine but i had a great lobster roll and some lobster with mac and cheese for lunch. when we got back to town, we had dinner at an italian place and i had 1 beer and that was it. now i'm just going to get ready for bed.

                            thanks so much for all the support and suggestions; i don't know what i would do whithout this great group of people. i just have to make sure i come here often. i have another appointment for acupucture this coming week and i will continue with my supplements. :l
                            :lilheart: "Love is large, love defies limits. People talk about the sanctity of love...love is by definition sacred. Not some love between some people but all love between all people"
                            ~Jennifer Beals~:huggy

                            Comment

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