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    #1

    When modders pay attention...

    Hi Friends in Modville.
    We planned to drink last night and went to a bar that has happy hour - 2 for 1. Honestly after the 1st one I could have been satisfied but being the 2nd was coming (and basically free) I accepted it.

    What a difference I notice when I really pay attention to my body. Had a slight headache this a.m. and hubby who had plans of jogging with our son didn't want to get out of bed. He always feels very demotivated with alcohol - thus he usually never drinks more than 2.
    It always interferes with our sleep (I think studies have shown it affects REM) so it's advised to take a break (no drinking every day) to let your body get the proper rest it needs.

    It made me wish I had only had the 1, I just didn't feel like hopping out of bed and having a
    busy day. Maybe that's why many modders go AF - they eventually really start liking how they feel without it.

    I'm going to journal all of this to help me remember and pay attention to the fact that even 2 make me feel kind of lousy. The only way 2 can work for me without being as bad is when the drinks are spaced much farther apart. But to sit in that 1 hour period at a bar and have 2 just seems too much for me.

    The point I'm trying to make is for modders to really pay attention to what AL does to them. Journal it - why did you drink - how did you feel the day after? etc. Pay attention and we may get a better grip on it. And KEEP coming here. We need support for life just like the AF folks.

    For me moderating is no different than going AF. We all have drinking problems. A person doesn't meet their goals and get cured because they could moderate well for months or years. It is a lifelong process. When I quit MOW (joined 1 1/2 years ago and only stayed on for a couple months) I definitely got into trouble with my drinking. I would claim moderation but there were many times I was drinking way too many and hubby would say "I thought you had a 2 drink limit?" and you know what my response would be...who cares?

    So, I'm back and hopefully will be here for a long time.

    Looking forward to getting to know all of you better.
    "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

    ~Jack Welsh~:h

    God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:
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    #2
    When modders pay attention...

    I think paying attention is really important. I can get out of touch in that respect.

    Good luck with your new commitment.

    Comment

      #3
      When modders pay attention...

      Brilliant post Eve!!

      I very nearly had a drink last night and after discussing it with hubby, decided what the f*ck for??

      You hit the nail on the head for me when you said "Maybe that's why many modders go AF - they eventually really start liking how they feel without it."

      I still don't know what I am - a modder or not?! I am going away on holiday at the end of the month and I spoke to hubby about my AF-ness and how important it is to me, but I think I'll give modding a try during the holiday. I hope to come back after the trip and be able to post that it was successful.

      I am having this inner monologue with myself that if I don't try to mod then I'll never know if I can or can't.... don't know if that is just the AL conning me or not but we'll see.
      "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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        #4
        When modders pay attention...

        glad your back EVE 11,modding is somthing new in my life,and your totally rt,i have to watch,cause if i let my guard down and blammo,i dont feel guilty,but the ones arond me tell me about,how bad i was,ive lerned tht over the many years i drank,it is not always fun,specially the things tht i caused,it wasnt al AL S fault he or she just helped me out,hahahahha,no excuses,IVE SAID TO MANY HERE SINCE I JOINED,I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM STOPPING,JUST STAYING STOPPED, WE ARE MANY,WE WORK GOOD IN NUMBERS, you never fail,you only fail if you dont come back your new freind gyco

        Comment

          #5
          When modders pay attention...

          " Maybe that's why many modders go AF- they eventually really start liking how they feel without it"...

          Brilliant observation- and exactly where I am at!!!

          When I go cold trurkey, I am depressed and feel like I am missing something. If I set my mind to and stack 4-5 days up before allowing the thought of AL in, I am like, what the hell for? It's gotta be for the right reason- or feel natural in the setting, as someone else mentionned a while back in a post ( Ie: out for dinner, celebration... and not merely the thought of well, I've gone 5 days and now I must/ can drink!)

          I must say- the sleep comment is bang on as well- any more that 2-3 days of AF in a row, I am whooped and rather than a hang over, I feel the withdrawls set in ( and I NEVER want to experience THAT again).

          Maybe I had to hit bottom ( August/ hospital/ feeling near death) to really bring AL to my attention... but yes, by George, I think I am finally getting it!

          Skoots
          "I have not failed - I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work"- Thomas A Edison

          Comment

            #6
            When modders pay attention...

            This is a very interesting post.

            I am back too.

            Comment

              #7
              When modders pay attention...

              Hi Eve,

              I think the main point is that we have to be attentive. People without a drinking problem naturally limit themselves in the same way that people who don't struggle with their weight never really go overboard. It just doesn't occur to them to eat the whole thing! So, if we're to imitate them, we have to teach ourselves to parallel their behavior - we just have to pay attention. What I'm finding, though (and I mentioned this to Nancy on her thread) is that the longer I start living like a true modder, the more natural it feels. Yes, the risk is always there that a slip will occur. But when we pay attention, those will be few and far between.

              Vera-b

              Comment

                #8
                When modders pay attention...

                It's my hope to be a successful modder, and I look up to all of you doing it.

                Thanks for ideas and advice. Even the most simple, and seemingly obvious advice, like pay attention, if helpful. It reminds me to be mindful and present with each decision.

                THanks,
                Figi

                Comment

                  #9
                  When modders pay attention...

                  Response to Vera-B

                  Thanks to all who responded. Vera-B - liked what you said as well. I am SO paying attention to how I feel the next day. Can never jump out of bed feeling great...unless I'm AF or have only had 1. I'm finding even two can leave me a little foggy and not as motivated.

                  At social gatherings it's been so rewarding to know that I'm not going to make a fool of myself that night--and I've had a great time sipping slow, having non-al drinks and rewarding myself with the 1-2 mid to late night of the party.

                  I walked out of a restaurant one time with an overweight friend. On the table was a half eaten piece of cake and an unfinished glass of wine. I stated "I could never leave a half of glass of wine". She looked at me and said "I could never leave a half eaten piece of cake".
                  Of course, I could have easily left the cake and she the wine.

                  So, Vera-B I totally get what you mean!
                  "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                  ~Jack Welsh~:h

                  God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    When modders pay attention...

                    Hi Eve,

                    That's it!!! I have 2 small candy dishes on my desk at work with a variety of treats. Each treat is small, individually wrapped, and not many calories (I said each). I will occasionally have one when the mood urges but would never, ever consider having a handful or the whole bowl-full. I've just lost 11 pounds so it's not that I'm a naturally slim person. I am, however, the same weight I was when I married 27 years ago so I've battled that 10 pounds over the years. I just don't go for more sweets because I've been practicing for decades to think like a naturally thin person - enjoy a treat, but don't make it a habit. The last year+ I have been trying to do the same with my "beloved" wine. When I feel like I'm going to slip (like with my fingernails sliding down the side of the mountain), I pull out the cd's and post, post, post.

                    You are doing remarkably well. Paying attention - like knowing you're ok with one and one only - is key. Guard that like your life depends on it. Don't let anyone infer you're a lightweight because you're not a big drinker. Wear it like a badge of honor. You are the big winner here.

                    Vera-b

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