Personal Moderation Rules

[WaitingToExhale]

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[skootiemom]

Personal Moderation Rules

Hello Waiting~

Once you get a few AF days under your belt, you start to realize just how great you feel, how crappy you in fact were feeling, how you suddenly have the energy to take your life back and see that alcohol is such a crutch... a distraction from the important stuff.

For me, going AF once and for all is a process. I tried the cold turkey thing, and resented it. I put together some very strong rules, and it finally seems to be working.

I work Mon-Fri, so to set the tone for a productive week, I DO NOT drink on Sundays- not even one... not even if I am hung over as Hell! Or it's a sunny patio with friend.... NONE. That makes Monday thru Thursday pretty easy- I am busy with work, kids, soccer, dance, etc...

Secondly, I keep lots of bubbling water in the house- in the wine rack!

Third, I keep carbs to a bare minimum- this helps ALOT with the cravings, as does the L-Glut, Kuzdu and the other vitamins I take.

This week, I have been feeling so good, I am determined to roll it thru the weekend. Yes, baby steps, but Rome was not built in a day- nor did I become a raging alcoholic overnight.

Hope this helps,

Skoots

PS- my daily "HONEST" drink tracking is also KEY!

[LVT25]

Personal Moderation Rules

Well, for me, I don't really have a moderating "plan". It's more like a new way of life. If I am going to be in a situation where I might want to drink, I try to think about it and decide if it is worth it. I've totally quit drinking at home by myself or with others so far. Right now there is beer in the fridge and it does not tempt me. I don't reach for a beer when hubby or kids are stressing me out either. I realize I don't have enough control yet to keep it at 1 or 2. Maybe I never will. I also swore I would Never drink and drive again--so I actually have to keep that in mind if hubby and I are out together and he is drinking.
So, yeah, not a plan, a new way of living. I love being sober and hangover free!!:h

[Sunbeam]

Personal Moderation Rules

I totally agree with SkootieMom that honest DrinkTracker is currently a critical piece in my moderation.

I don't drink during the week at all. I am working toward a goal of one day per weekend, just two drinks. I think that in the last month have learned that I am too tired on Friday night to put the effort into stopping at two drinks. I am also getting away from the habit of having wine by myself, which I have especially enjoyed on the patio. Tomorrow I will share a bottle of wine with a friend - that will be 2.5 drinks, which is just fine. Like LVT, when we go out to dinner, I do not drink. I don't drink on Sunday at all, because that used to be my worst drinking.

Flavored bubbly water is also working very well for me as a substitute. In a wine glass, of course. Very relaxing to sip, no guilt, no calories, none of all the other too-much-alcohol stuff.

I did 2.5 months AF when I came here, and and been reading and posting daily since January. It has been a real education and therapy plan for me.

My eating habits are pretty healthy, though I ate too much ice cream over the summer. Many here say they crave and eat more carbs in place in alcohol - that's me. In spite of the greatly reduced alcohol, I have not lost weight. I just started keeping a food diary - I hope that helps.

[vera-b]

Personal Moderation Rules

Hi Waiting,

I have a general set of rules for modding. "Cocktail Hour' was a daily trigger for me. Of course I would never wait for my husband to come home to start, so most of my serious daily drinking was done before he got home at 6:30. Then, I'd have a glass of wine or two which wouldn't look too bad unless you knew I'd had 6 drinks before that! So now I do not have a drink before by husband gets home, in fact I delay the start time even when he's there. I'll have my lemon water first. Then, we don't drink during the week so that leaves just Fri and Sat most weeks. And even then, I try not to have more than 2 because I don't want to allow my body to get used to more. As you can see, the whole point is to narrow the opportunity to drink and the quantity.

For me, that's the only way I can continue to marginalize AL in my life and not allow it to take on any kind of important role. I think this the ultimate goal of modding, so the particular "rules" only matter to the extent they keep AL in the "ho-hum" category.

Vera-b

[nancy]

Personal Moderation Rules

I have a similar approach as LVT.

I never drink alone now. That cut out the worst part of my drinking. This week, I didn't have any social situations with alcohol so I wound up with 6 AF days. Still one more to go in the week.

I don't drink to relieve stress or emotional issues anymore. I really am cultivating acceptance of myself in the times when I feel upset and it's helped so much.

Also, sometimes when I do get cravings while alone, I instead break my diet and have something I would not normally eat, like pizza. I think it's ok to do this just once a week or so. After all, look at all the alcohol calories we cut out, why not have an occasional treat.

Drinking in social situations is ok if the alcohol is not free-flowing. Like if you go out for a set time, for dinner or before a show.

In general, you aim to have as little as possible. As moderators, we should be cutting it out of our lives wherever possible but enjoying it occasionally so it doesn't become forbidden fruit.

I didn't do the 30 AF days. For me cutting it out entirely makes me feel deprived and I might binge after a long period like that.

[skootiemom]

Personal Moderation Rules

Vera-b

"narrowing the opportunity to drink"

Brilliant!

Skootie

[Monica]

Personal Moderation Rules

I've tried all sorts of regimes, but the current plan is to have just two quarter-bottles of wine (ie 187 ml ea) on a Friday night, and that's it for the week. I forego work drinks, go for a run, then sip my wine while I cool off and cook/eat tea. It may sound unsociable, but if I went to work drinks, I'd drink a lot more drinks a hellava lot faster and just lose control. At home, after a run, they're enjoyable, but not enough to start the binge-drink/hangover cycle that makes weekends so unproductive. Good luck to you!

[gyco]

Personal Moderation Rules

interesting modders receipe hahaha different seriouslyyy,i was AL free for 10 months and i do quote 10,did it many times over 37 years of drinking not bragging and i dont no how i do it,never had to try modding in my life,dang just drank i tht it was my rt until i got caught drinking b4 work tht that was a good idea,ended up in a sanitarium for 30 days that will make anyone stop and then some,my sobriety date was oct2607 four months b4 the hospital stint started modding august 0908,i found when i went back this time yes it was different,binged the 1st time i drank again but this time i got a grip rt away,didnt like the sick feeling,as everyone says is there a real receipe to drinking,keep your guard up,you do no when to MUCH is enuff hope it helps gyco

[tsfitness]

Personal Moderation Rules

Hi nancy
just wanted to let yo know that your post is helpful to me. also modding. for years drank 3/4 of a bottle of wine a night, if we're out with friends, probably more. am right now aiming for 2 glasses only ( have succedded a few nights now) but would like to cut it way way back, and actually have 3-4 AF days every week. its hard to imagine, but i know i can do it. it helps to read posts like yours. i'm also waiting for the topa. do you take it?
ts

[Sunbeam]

Personal Moderation Rules

I thought I would post here that I plan to do two weeks AF, which began Sept 27. I believe that significant AF time is a key to successful moderation. Limiting my drinks to one day per week was successful in September, but I want to drink even less.

[nancy]

Personal Moderation Rules

Sunbeam

I really think you are on the right path here. I think one reason moderation can fail is that people go in thinking they can have a set number of drinks every day or for a few days a week or drink in every social situation. That increases the exertion and choice and connection to alcohol.

I think in reality we should minimize all drinking and be moderate in the sense that once in a while we have some, not moderate in that every day you allow yourself some and hopefully don't go over the limit. That is what I am aiming for. The more AF days we get the better, drinking is gradually cut out of life. We have to live for the most part without alcohol and hopefully stop looking forward to the drinks that we allow ourselves. I also think it is important to socialize without it.

Good luck with your two weeks and let us know how it goes.

Nancy

[Eve11]

Personal Moderation Rules

See my new thread "1 month today" where I've posted what helped me to stay moderating well.
Enjoyed reading everyone else's posts here. Thanks all!

[vera-b]

Personal Moderation Rules

Nancy,

Excellent post, and I would have to agree. Last week when I allowed myself to have a couple of drinks 4 days in a row, it did not feel right - even though there was no excess, no hangover, etc. It was just too close to my old habits of daily drinking and it drew alcohol back into the mainstream of my life. And you are so right - it needs to be marginalized. Thank you for that reminder. Have been AF this week and it feels so much more comfortable. Sunbeam, you set a great example. I will redouble my efforts to follow in your footsteps. Thanks to you both for that little kick - needed it.

Vera-b