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    #1

    Falling off the wagon again

    After doing 30 days AF in July, I got pretty good at modding. However, I feel myself falling off the wagon again. I hadn't been drinking on weekdays, this past week I did. 3 days out of 5. And yesterday, family was over and I had about 10 beers. I was shocked when I reached inside the 12 pack and felt the back empty!

    So as I sit here now with my alka seltzer, I know I need to regroup. My plan is to stop immediately for the next 2 weeks ( I have a big party then) for the party I need to go back to what I was doing and spacing out my 3-4 drinks with time and water.

    Anyway, just thought I needed to put this out there.
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    #2
    Falling off the wagon again

    Know exactly where you're coming from, I find I can mod for a while but then my drinking steps up and I go from 2 or 3 to 6 or 7. I did 30 days AF for September, now I'm on the mod road again. Wishing you all the best for your 2 weeks AF - does us modders good to do that once in a while!
    Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

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      #3
      Falling off the wagon again

      NM....Just get back on it again. We have the rest of our lives to get it right.....what's the alternative ? IAD.
      ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
      those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
      Dr. Seuss

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        #4
        Falling off the wagon again

        NetMarketer,
        I'm just starting out so I haven't really experienced what you went through this past week. I do know that it is difficult. I have been thinking about my drinking options. We do get to make choices in our lives. I have come up with some basic choices regarding drinking:
        * I can choose to moderate.
        * I can choose to go AF.
        * I can choose to drink when and how much I want to.
        That last one of course is the one I do not want for myself - but it is an option.

        For me I'm finding that it helps me to run those choices through my head throughout the day. While they are all choices they all have their benefits and consequences. I try to think of the benefits of moderating and the consequences of drinking as much as I want. When those AL thoughts come in I've already considered what I want to do. What I want is the first one, to successfully moderate. But I am going in to this with the thought that if I cannot follow my rules I will need to choose AF and of course that has its own benefits and consequences.

        We don't always make good choices. When we make the wrong ones it is then time to get up and start again. Maybe that means modifying the way we did it or looked at it. I've never surfed before (I'm assuming that maybe you have?). I'm pretty sure that if I ever got out there on a wave I would fall miserably the first time. If I get up and try the same thing the same way, I'm sure to fall again. I will need to keep correcting my technique and my muscles would need to become acoustomed to how best support me. Once I find a little success I can start to fine tune all the pieces and ride a wave. So what I'm saying is that maybe you need to adjust some of your moderating rules. You are probably close to success.

        Don't be too hard on yourself, that is just depressing. Instead, think about what led you to make the decisions you made. Then you can rework your plan and start again. I wish you the best and hope you hang in there. I'm rooting for you.

        periwinkle
        Even baby mountain goats must learn to tackle the smallest mountains first. sigpic

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          #5
          Falling off the wagon again

          Hi Net,
          My AF time was last Feb & March. I started moderating in April, it went OK for awhile, then increased in the summer. I then decided I could drink no more than one day per week. That's been OK, I haven't increased, but I would like to drink less. I had hoped to stay AF this weekend, but I had some drinks Saturday - I caved in to my husband's open bottle of wine sitting on the counter. He drinks most days, moderately. So that's where I'm at. I'm sticking with Drink Tracker until I get this figured out. It does take discipline and practice to moderate.
          My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

          Comment

            #6
            Falling off the wagon again

            Periwinkle,
            I liked your analogy about surfing...very well said. I'm still trying to figure out how to ride the wave myself as I've only been seriously modding since Sept 2, 08.
            Netmarketer, hang in there...no pun intended! LOL
            "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

            ~Jack Welsh~:h

            God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

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              #7
              Falling off the wagon again

              Hi NetMarket,

              That's one of the "side effects" of modding - we handle it so well, we run the risk of starting to slide back into old habits. I've done it enough over the years I can actually feel the pull - like an undercurrent pulling me back into the water. The difference this time is this place. I throw out the help wanted sign (ok, sometimes I do it through a PM) to help get me back on track. Last week Nancy and Sunbeam were talking about working to marginalize AL in our lives. That's a different mindset than "welcoming" it back, which is what many modders do after an AF period. I think they were both onto something. If we work to keep AL from playing a mainstream role in our lives, the less our chance of sliding backward.

              I know for me the best response to that "I'm sliding back" feeling is to rack up several AF days. And post like crazy. You were so good about reaching out - I respect that honesty so very much. One of the things that we all seem to let slide during our drinking days is that honesty, particularly with ourselves. Enjoy your 2 weeks AF - it'll boost your confidence. Looking forward to hearing from you - we need some more folks on our mod thread!

              Vera-b

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                #8
                Falling off the wagon again

                HI all: Good thread.
                Just a thought: For me to mod successfully i have to have a plan . . . it can't be open ended except maybe on vacation or I might "give in" too often, and don't know that I'd have a good stopping place. I know some folks aim "not to get drunk" but I needed something more health focussed than that.

                So my plan is to average about 7 drinks/week, which I think is the recommendation for women. I also limit my drinking to 3 days per week so have 4 AF days per week which gives me lots of practice abstaining, and practicing my alternative strategies. So on my drinking days I can have 1 -2 or sometimes 3 drinks.

                Some folks only drink 2 days (weekends) and don't drink during the week. Some set a limit / week and don't set the # of days. I think only YOU can pick the plan that feels right for you, or else you won't stick with it. But just my opinion, I do think a plan is helpful.

                I too use drink tracker to post my progress. Makes me a bit more accountable for sticking to the plan.
                Ask.

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                  #9
                  Falling off the wagon again

                  Excellent responses, thanks a lot, it is really encouraging. As far as the surfing goes, I used to do some in high school (I'm 31 now). I didn't do more...anyone want to take a guess why? That's right, I preferred to sit at the beach drinking beer!

                  Honesty is key especially when excuses abound. Funny thing is, Saturday night I didn't drink, I went to bed and had one of those drinking dreams. When I woke up I felt so good in realizing it was just a dream, only to actually go and drink a few hours later...what an idiot.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Falling off the wagon again

                    NetMarketer,
                    I am so with you on this mod thing. I went 14 days AF and then on day 15(yesterday) I decided to test myself on moderation - well, I was out with my friend because he just let me know that his father went into the hospital and I thought it would help him to relax, but the real truth is I was looking for an excuse to drink. My real intent was to only have 2 drinks but we started talking and he ordered a third drink so I did to - before I knew it, I had 5 glasses of wine. I woke up in the night and felt like crap this morning. So I realize that I am not ready for moderation. I am starting over AF and while I do this again, for however long I choose to do it, I am going to try moderation on other things in my life in hopes that at some point when I do choose to attempt AL moderation again I will be better at it. I tend to be addicted to food, so I will use this as my tool for moderation - learning how to make myself stop eating before I am totally full. Moderation is such an important thing to learn in many aspects of our lives, but it does require learning for some of us.

                    I wish us both good luck on our AF days and on our mod experience. Good luck and have fun at the party.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Falling off the wagon again

                      Hi Petey and Net,

                      Petey made a very important point that is worth repeating - that moderation is an important thing to learn in many aspects of our lives - but it requires practice and commitment. Of course we need to moderate in our booze intake, but the same skills that we use to keep it at bay are the same ones for food and other areas of our lives. Perhaps we should brainstorm on ALL aspects of our lives that need taming in order to get a real handle on the booze aspect. Thoughts???

                      Vera-b

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