Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

[CS04]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Speaking of parenting, has anyone heard from Gia? She always talks about her sweet baby girl, but I haven't seen any posts from her in quite awhile.

[Sarasmiles]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Thanks for the reference, Kid. That's great!

[Sarasmiles]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hey Gang,
I'm really struggling with this South Beach Diet... I like the foods just fine, but at times I feel as though between holding the reigns tight on my drinking and my eating, I am getting more irritable. I don't crave junk food, or even bread or rice or fruit...But I could definitely eat more nuts than the diet allows, and I'd love to have some low carb or whole wheat pasta. Does anyone have an opinion on the right way to eat, to lose a modest amount of weight, while staying sane and sober? I'm wondering if I'd feel happier if I just had a basic rule that I'll eat foods that are good for me, and not play by the rules of a prescribed diet. Please, don't tell me to exercise. I know, I know!

[rustop61]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hi everyone

Just found this thread and Sara, your story could be mine. I'm 47 and my kids are teenagers, 16 and nearly 15. Good kids but now boyfriends are on the scene!! The 16 year old's boyfriend just got expelled from school!! Agh, sometimes you just have to say nothing. At least she's communicating with us and as long as she stays on track that's my main priority.

You mentioned something about wanting to share a glass of wine at certain times with your husband. That's my main problem. My hubby is a wine drinker and has a few glasses every night. However, he can cork the bottle, maybe he drinks too much but he can stop. Most of the time I'm ok but if I drink on my own thats when I really get into trouble. I have done numerous 30 day stints since joining MWO but then I slip. Usually its because the wine is there, open. Maybe I'm stressed from the kids, any excuse.

I have had more AF days since joining MWO than in the last 14 years. I want to be a better Mom and I know that my nightly drinking is not doing my body any good (awaiting results of tests).

Rustop

[Sarasmiles]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hi Rustop, and the rest of you moms!

Numerous 30 day stints sounds great! Are you planning/trying for lifetime abstinence or moderation? I'm starting to think my "moderation" has to be even more moderate....More AF days, and no more than one glass of wine when I do drink. I've been having two lately, and since my mood took a sudden turn for the worse, I'm wondering if part of it is the wine...I know it's not a huge amount, but I am very vulnerable to depression, and perhaps just two glasses, several nights in a row, brought me down. Of course there are always other factors involved, so it's hard to judge. But today I'm going AF, and tomorrow and Thursday...If only to see if my depression can be kept at bay.

Glad you're here, Rustop....Hang in there. Sara

[Sarasmiles]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Oh One2...That sucks! But you are not a bad mother! You did just the right thing. No attention, no getting what she wants as a reward for that behavior. Awesome job!

I've had those looks from other women ( funny how I only get them from women, not men!) It's usually when I'm letting one of my little monkey boys climb a fence or a tree that no one else will let her kids climb...Or when one of them takes off his coat when he's running around sweating on a playground, but it's cold out. Other women can be judgmental - although I'm sure sometimes, in my case, anyway, I'm being paranoid.

Let her scream. It's good for her. Don't you wish we could just start screaming at the top of our lungs when we can't have what we want? Like a drink? Or a cigarette? Or that expensive bag? Or perfect kids? Or a God- Damned iota of understanding from my husband! (Sorry.) I'm going to do it now: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That felt pretty good.

I bet your little girl will wear herself out and be ready to apologize and hug before long. Then you can tell her that you understand how it feels to be frustrated, but that it's not okay to scream and throw a tantrum in public. Hug her back. Then move on.

[lenaleed]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Just peeking in on this thread. I love recalling the good ol' days like public tantrums. Yes, you did exactly the right thing!! Mine are 18 & 20 now, and my 18 yr old daughter still can throw toddler-size tantrums. It works on her Dad. For me, it's an opportunity to practice my detachment skills and boundaries. I honsestly believe she needs and appreciates this. When they were little, during the post-tantrum talk, I'd tell them it feels so awful to be out of control like that, and as they grew they would learn to "catch" themselves before they lost control. I'm amazed that my son still remembers the pride he felt learning to catch himself! My lovely daughter remains a work in progress. Actually, both are. We all are!Have a wonderful day, all. Lena

[rustop61]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hi everyone

Yes you did the right thing One2many. Trust your instincts. I hate these Mom's who have the perfect kids and judge everyone else!!! And you know those kids are not perfect, they may not throw the tantrums but can do worse stuff behind the scenes. We knew one of those Mom's ages ago and it was all sweety, sweety, nice, nice and then my daughter said one day "so and so is not nice, she does really nasty stuff behind the scene, just makes sure her Mom does not see her". Out of the mouths of babes!!

Its all part of growing up and like giving up Al WE WILL GET THERE. Love your comment about catching yourself Lenaleed, must teach that to my 14 year old who still throws tantrums.

Rustop

[Sweaty Betty]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

When my 15 yr old was around 2 I remember dragging him out of a store by his feet - it was a smooth shiny floor so he slid well Lol! I have no memory of what started it, but do remember the looks I got, some sympathetic, some horrified. One lovely lady pushed my youngest's stroller for me while I removed the screamer! You will look back on this tantrum and smile - honestly! Well done and yes go with your instincts. B.

[on my way]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Oney, your a great mom, a bad one would have caved to the child whims. Never reinforce a tantrum. Does not take them long to figure out if they cry and belly ache for an hour...then mom caves, thats what the'll do.
Wish they came with an instruction book......

[lenaleed]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Onetoo -- What a great Mom you are. There will be years more of tantrums. If you are like me, at times you will join in. Many rich memories along the way as well. Take care, Lena

[Sarasmiles]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Oh Good! I'm so glad she's feeling better, and it's got to make life better for you.

My seven year old has a new pattern of coming home from school in a bad mood. Every day this week something has made him really angry, and he's mostly taken it out on me. I'm guessing he's tired out, but maybe something's bothering him at school. I'm going to go have a cuddle with him and see if he wants to talk.

This cold weather makes getting out of the house with the kids a huge chore. I hate to start the day hurrying them and feeling annoyed that once again they can't find matching mittens or the right hat. I've come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no correlation between the number of mittens I buy and the number we can find when we need them. Does anyone have a good system for all this outerwear? I have a little wire stack of shelves, placed over a heating vent, to dry and store (and pre-warm; fancy!) their stuff. But it usually ends up all over the floor, dropped wherever they come in. Maybe it's not a new system I need...Just better discipline for these boys.

How's everyone else coping? Are we having any fun?

[akgirl]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Sarasmiles;520936 wrote: How's everyone else coping? Are we having any fun?

Barely coping and no fun....well some I guess. Life with a teen is proving to feel like a rollercoaster. Happy one minute, pissed the next. But I started reading a book called "Uncommon sense for parents with teenagers" and it really is helping me understand him better. There was a part in it that said when they are younger you are like a manager and now as they get older you need to stop trying to manage them and just be a consultant. I had never thought of it that way.

Anyways, sending good wishes to all the parents out there.
Now go hug your kid

:l
Ak

[rustop61]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hi everyone

Thanks for that Akgirl, must try and get that book. That's exactly how I feel at the moment, on a rollercoaster.

Sara when I lived in Canada and the girls were little. I used to attach their mitten to their ski jackets with elastic so they did not loose them. I have to say when we left the most thing I missed was the snow! Maybe not 5 months of it but it is nice to have some. Cold and wet here in Ireland but I guess its green.

Rustop

[Sweaty Betty]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Worry worry worry

Hi Hi! Just had my 13yr old's school report. Once again there are comments about not finishing assignments etc. FOR HEAVENS SAKE WHY DON"T THEY TELL ME???. Same every time, then I go into school, ask for communication please, and oh yes, they're terribly sorry and it wont happen again. My boys are at an international school here in Singers, expensive but not 'value for money' (it's a profit making business). At the minute I have no choice, trying to move them, but as they're 'judged' solely on their report cards it's proving difficult. Really frustrating as we give full parental support, but can't solve problems if we don't know they're happening. Grrrrr. There, feel better after that little vent. My first instinct was to open the report card with a Gin at the ready. But I resisted. Thanks for reading!