Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

[Sarasmiles]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hey Periwinkle,

Thanks for the good thoughts. How wonderful to be a grandmother! I look forward to being there some day. It's amazing how hard it is to appreciate these moments and these years with our kids. I am happy for you that you can look back on the early years with your kids and know that you were sober for those years. It horrifies me to think of ever having to regret this time and how I used it...I can think of few things more painful than to look back on oneself as a mother with deep regrets about drinking. As long as I'm sober, I will do the best I can. If I'm drunk, I don't have a chance.

[periwinkle]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

GB,

I'm so happy for you and all the other moms with little ones who are trying to be the best moms they can be for their children. I just wanted to share that!

periwinkle :h

[Sarasmiles]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

:thanks: Thanks Periwinkle!

I had a bit of a hard day, with my mom visiting. She often seems to find fault with me, my husband, and our kids - not in really blatant ways, but in subtle ways. Little comments like, "He (my six year old) sure does try to intimidate you, doesn't he?" or "the boys are so cute...when do you intend to get their hair cut?" or "they really aren't going to eat any vegetables tonight? Really?" My kids seemed to fight a lot today, and I could see it was bothering her, which made it bother me more than usual...But I didn't let it get to me too much. The kids are great, and I'm doing the best I can, as long as I'm staying sober...

I hope all you other moms and dads had a happy Thanksgiving, or just a happy Thursday.

[C&C Mom]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

GB

I have a mother just like yours....she is quiet and sneaky about her jabs regarding my and my husband's parenting techniques, or lack of. I have lived with it my whole life. It has made me very insecure for years.....now it just rolls off my back. When I REALLY thought about what my childhood was like my parents did not do a better job either. I thought it was normal & happy but there is a lot of **** still lurking from the early & teen years.

So - you do the best you can do. Your kids love you. I am 10 days AF and am glad that I am sober now to put them to bed at night and not be "sleeping" early. I am much bitchier than I used to be - I used to be so pleasant & easy going. Now I am a firecracker with a short fuse. Hopefully it will pass in time. I hate that - it is not my personality. And for some reason it is harder to fake than before when I had a glass of wine.

Anyways, we moms have a tough job. Maybe some day when we all figure out why we drink so much and break the cycle - a glass of wine can be had. Maybe not - maybe once the alcohol wiring gets crossed it's best to avoid it all together. We'll see. I am prepared either way. That is saying something. Even 11 days ago I couldn't imagine giving up my beloved wine.

My sister tells me I need to call my mom out when she makes her jabs - tell her it's unacceptable and she did her parenting job so she's now retired. SHUT UP. I am not there yet. But working on it.

[on my way]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

C&C, I can relate on many levels. My Mom can be a major B. She is also a smart B and a sneaky one too. ugh. I also find myself being far less patient with my kids than when I have been "self medicating"
I Started my sobriety in March of this year, it took a couple of try?s and I maintained it thru June. Took a week off in July and a screw up in November but have been AF since Nov 9th.

Being sober is a good parenting tool for sure. My little guys are out in the yard frolicking in the snow, lord they are cute. One thing I didn't mess up on I guess.

nat

[C&C Mom]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Oh Miss Nat. We moms are so proud of our little guys/gals.....my boys are 5 & 8. And they are so cute bundled up in their snow gear - we had our first snow this weekend.

Good for you for your length of AF time. Plus, there are no screw ups allowed here....as long as you are trying you can't ask any more. You wouldn't ask any more of your own kids other than to try their best and give it their all!!!

Have a great one - I'm off to carpool - school pick up. Fun stuff. Always look around at the moms and wonder if I am the only one who suffers from this problem. You know - if not there are a lot of good actresses. In my mind it seems to be written on my forehead - WINO.

[on my way]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

omg....thats on my head too. makes you wonder if they know.

[C&C Mom]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Well the odds are that we can't be the only ones if you look at the stats of people with alcohol problems. So maybe we are (WERE) Oscar worthy actresses and don't even know it???

[on my way]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

love it!!

[LVT25]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hi GB and all moms!

Very nice thread you've got going here. I just wanted to stop in really quick and say hello. I'm not sure how my 2 young sons (14 and almost 11) would vote, but I think I am a MUCH better mom sober. I also feel that I can be even better. I have more respect for myself and that should make a difference. It's about time I stopped being selfish and looked at the big picture. I do need to set a good example if I want them to grow up to be the best they can be. I'm glad to be kissing them goodnight without the smell of beer and ciggies on my breath.

I stopped drinking during my pregnancies and I was miserable because hubby and all my friends were partying all the time. This time it's different.

Gotta go. :h

[akgirl]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hi fellow moms,

Just wanted to say hi and wish you well on your journey.

I finally started antabuse and realized I will have to be AF for a bit, no choice. So I got to wondering how much my 13 yo son will notice. I've been having some trouble with him and chalked it up to being a teen. Then I started thinking....maybe it was more me and my drinking. He would never come out and say anything and for a time I thought he didn't really notice, but I know he knows. I mean who are we trying to kid, right? So I am hoping that with my new sobriety, some of my troubles with my son will go away and I can be a better mom.

Anyone else out there find a difference in your kids when you quit? Just curious.

:l
Ak

[JAMMS]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hello fellow moms-
Oh yes, the joys of parenting.......

C&C and on my way- It's so funny, i think the same thing about the moms at my school. I happen to know a few of them and their "skeletons"...."and the award goes to........":H

Akgirl- I can promise you that your son knows, has an opionion on, and notices the difference when you are AF. 13 is a very hard/akward age for boys. My advice to you is talk to him and find out what's going on in his head. You would be surprised at what you can tallk with him about. Don't underestimate that. Please don't htink that sobriety will make any thing just go away. I'm not an expert I only speak from personal experiences. I hope I did not offend you in any way. :l

LVT25- You mentioned kissing the kids goodnight with out beer breath and it reminded me that last night my little girl (18 mos) woke up around 10:30 pm... I think she had a nightmare, anyway, I picked her up to hold her for a few minutes and I realized how many times I had done while I was wrecked...stumbling....and inpateint. So I held her a longer!!

[on my way]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

I live in a really small town, my work puts me in places where I know who is drinking too much......boy do I have shi# on a lot of people. I wonder if they have any idea about my prob??

[akgirl]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

JAMMS;484860 wrote: Please don't htink that sobriety will make any thing just go away. I'm not an expert I only speak from personal experiences. I hope I did not offend you in any way.

Thank you and no offense taken. Believe me I know it will not make things go away. I am in for some tough years ahead. I just know I need to be sober to face them. He doesn't need the added anxiety of a drunk mom on top of all the teen pressures he will already face. So hopefully me being sober will ease this and he can draw support from me. Heaven only knows the memories he has, I want those to fade and will work hard to give him new positive, SOBER ones.

[Sarasmiles]

Are We Having Fun Yet? The joys and stresses of parenting

Hey Moms,
I am so down today. The kids have three short days this week for parent -teacher conferences. They get out early today, tomorrow and Friday. I had this fantasy that we'd have a fire in the fireplace and play games and read books together. But the fighting started almost immediately, and I just wanted to withdraw from all of them. I'm letting them watch TV, and I feel kind of guilty for that. I want to be up and enthusiastic, but it's just not one of those days.

I don't know if my boys notice the difference when I'm sober for stretches of time. They're young, and I have hidden my drinking pretty well, or so I think. But I certainly notice that I'm a better parent sober...I can stay awake and alert, and focused. In the morning I'm more organized and cheerful. Still, like some of you, I feel crabby and impatient at times. Wine used to take the edge off of that, and now it's hard to make it go away without a drink. I had hoped that if I could stop drinking, all the bad moods would fade, and when they didn't I was disappointed. I hang on to faith that it will get better. I'm going to go give them hugs. Sometimes that gets my out of this funk. G.B.