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    #1

    Define Moderation

    Hey gang!
    So I've been on here for about 2 months now...I get the emails, visit the chat room on occasion, and am still trying to find that "perfect balance" for myself. I did the abs thang...but felt as if I was strong enough to MODs instead. I am perfectly fine going several days without booz....but when I drink, I don't stop well!
    In reviewing posts here and there, and in visiting chat, I've yet to find someone in that situation.
    Any takers?
    Would love some words of wisdom to help with this whole moderation thang.
    Thanks!
    Chacha
    Tags: None
    #2
    Define Moderation

    Hi Chacha
    I was moderating for 4 months really well after 3 months close to AF. When I was modding that meant I hardly drank at all except maybe the odd glass of wine here or there when out for dinner - no more than 2 drinks at a time maybe twice or three times a month on average. Then I had a bit of a "slip" at the end of October and drank way too much wine one night so I straight away went AF again for another 30 days just to make sure that I could do that as I was really pissed off with myself for not following my rules. Now I am modding again for December and onwards and I have revised my rules slightly in that I am not going to drink wine again as that is dangerous for me. I have not had wine for over 6 weeks and it really doesnt call me anymore which is another tool in my arsenal. I think the problem "stopping" is a common thing for moderators if we cant stop them realistically we cant moderate. Well that would be the case for me - if I cannot stop when I have a few drinks no matter how many days AF in between then I am not modding. Its a tricky balance and takes some fine tuning to each person. Some dont think it is worth the hassle or the risk.
    BH

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      #3
      Define Moderation

      I'm down to being an occasional drinker, less than weekly, no more than once a week. I was a binge drinker, so there's that tendency. After I did 2.5 months AF, I decided to try moderating. My first drink after AF time was three instead of one. It was a struggle to moderate especially over the summer. I then decided to limit myself to once weekly, and control came much easier. I really don't think drinking is all that great, I just want to keep it as an option. The rules posted under Long Term Moderation are good, but if you want to be what I call a normal drinker, you need to set some goals to go with the rules. My perception is that normal people don't drink every week and/or every weekend. I continue to drink less each month, have done that with August as my starting point. I use Drink Tracker religiously, because alcohol fades the memory quickly. There is a nice group gathered at Long Term Mods, you are welcome to join us. No entry fees or requirements!

      BH, stop by to see us!
      My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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        #4
        Define Moderation

        Thanks so much for your responses! Much apprecitated. I'll come visit.

        Comment

          #5
          Define Moderation

          Hi Chacha,

          Learning to drink moderately is not necessarily the easy route but we learn as we go along.
          One of my rules is never to drink two days in a row and the other is no more than 4 glasses of AL per week.

          like Sun mentioned, we have a great weekly thread called Mod Squad -- come and join us:-)
          "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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            #6
            Define Moderation

            Hey,
            I just joined, I don't know what I'm doing here.... all I know is I want to understand moderation. I have never had trouble with it until this past year. I'm doing having babies (2) and I have had serious post-pardum (which I'm getting help for) and on top of that I turned 30 at the begining of 2008. It's been a whole lot of change really really fast. And I haven't quite figured out how to cope with the stresses of all the change. SO moderation.... I'm hoping I can learn a thing or two from you.

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              #7
              Define Moderation

              Ladies ( Chacha, Indigo) Go Alcohol free for about 90 days......then begin to moderate. Check out J W's book, it will explain everything. Most of us here start off wanting to moderate......Naturally...we don't want to give up the booze. Then we find out...if we can moderate or not. Most of can't. Wish you well Welcome.... IAD.
              ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
              those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
              Dr. Seuss

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                #8
                Define Moderation

                The 4 F's...

                Family,Friends,Finances and Future...
                See if you can succeed in drinking an amount that doesn't effect these at all...especially in a bad way.
                It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that brings us happiness.
                ~ Charles Spurgeon

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                  #9
                  Define Moderation

                  My definition of Moderation: I do not drink anymore. I do have the option of drinking 1 maybe 2 drinks max if the situations calls for it. Most of the time I don't even want that drink because it slows me down. I pick my battles with the bottle. My life is so much better without booze.
                  Starting over again 09/06/11

                  "When its good its good its so good until it goes bad" Pink,Sober

                  sigpic

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                    #10
                    Define Moderation

                    I like it...

                    Changemylife,
                    I like your post. I guess I would be completely AF except that there is the occasional time and place that I, too, want to be able to drink. If my modding leads me to those occasions being fewer and fewer; then hooray! As you said, for you, " life is so much better without booze". I would qualify your statement for myself, as a modder, and say, "My life is so much better without TOO MUCH booze".
                    Have a wonderful New Year.
                    ~Kid~
                    It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that brings us happiness.
                    ~ Charles Spurgeon

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                      #11
                      Define Moderation

                      Nicely said Kid. I like that...and that works for me!

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                        #12
                        Define Moderation

                        Moderation: Not waking up the next morning in a panic wondering if the person next to you is a woman or a man dressed like a woman.

                        :rofl2::xxx::moon::what?::H
                        Starting over again 09/06/11

                        "When its good its good its so good until it goes bad" Pink,Sober

                        sigpic

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                          #13
                          Define Moderation

                          I have tried moderation but it doesn't work for me. I do not have the control or desire to have only 1 or 2. I won't quit until the whole bottle is gone and if I haven't passed out yet, then I'll buy another. I have been AF for almost 5 months and I know I have the choice: to live AF for the rest of my life or DIE.

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                            #14
                            Define Moderation

                            So what's your DEFINITION of "Moderation"??

                            llsaada1:
                            If I understand you correctly, if you are not AF you will DIE.
                            I think many people at this site share your feelings.
                            The name of this thread is "Define Moderation".
                            Do you have a definition for "Moderation" that you would also like to share??
                            It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that brings us happiness.
                            ~ Charles Spurgeon

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Define Moderation

                              Sorry that word is not in my vocabulary!! Moderation?

                              Love and Happiness
                              Hippie
                              xx
                              "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                              Clean and sober 25th January 2009

                              Comment

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