I HATE AL

[Mrs Donovan]

Blurrgghhh - I feel so bad! It's my first hangover in 2 weeks and a reminder of why I hate alcohol so much.

Since joining this site I have seriously changed my drinking habits. I used to drink alone with the kids, not any more. I'll never go back to that. I don't drink in the house period. I don't join DH if he has a beer after work. I LOVE not drinking, I LOVE waking up with a clear head, I LOVE feeling like I'm looking after myself.

But - I can't not drink when I'm with my friends. I don't want to be a social pariah so I figured it was ok to drink occasionally as long as I don't drink everyday. Except that if you have a drink after having a long time of not drinking, then the hangovers are HORRIBLE. My head is banging, I feel sick, I feel depressed. I feel guilty. I feel poisoned. :upset:

I'm seriously considering going all out and just never drinking again.

[Seacailin]

I HATE AL

I feel you pain Mrs. D. I just drank again after 24 days AF, and I have never gotten so sick in my life. It is just not worth it. I get sicker each time.

[j-vo]

I HATE AL

Mrs. D. and Sea,
Don't beat yourself up. Something I do is journal the day I drank, what made me want to drink, how I felt afterwards. Journal whatever's on your mind. Revisit that entry. Chin up! It's a new day.

[Seacailin]

I HATE AL

Thank you j-vo. My sponsor is giving me an arse kicking, which I desperately need. It does include alot of reading and journaling. Shit, she is making me hang out with her the whole weekend. Whatever it takes. I'm in. I can't do this anymore.

[shamrock]

I HATE AL

Hi seacailin, I am new here. Just joined . 3 days af. Again, I quit so many times but this is the first time I have ever done any on line support. It is the first thing I do in the morning, because I need to be in touch with others who know the struggle and pain and the joy of even a few days af. The hardest part for me is social outings. My whole family drinks so it is always there. Don't be hard on yourself, journal it down and see what you can learn from it. Remember, you are worth it.

[Seacailin]

I HATE AL

Welcome Shamrock and Thank you. Let me know if I can be of any help or support. I have struggled with this for 20 years, but have managed to spend Eleven and half of them AF. Since I picked up after that time, it seems to get harder and harder.

[hippie37]

I HATE AL

Sea I truly believe for me it's gets harder because I get have to get more honest with myself. I think I've clung to the drink as well because it's so readily available. Pubs on every street and off-license's every which way you turn. I don't have to be kept waiting for 'deals on wheels' to arrive or sitting in some shady alley waiting for my dealers supplier to sort him out. I can just run to the end of the road and pick up a bottle of voddie no sweat. If alcohol were illegal I wonder if I'd go to the same troubles as I did in the past for drugs?

Stick with it hon. I'm finally 'getting it' myself these days and accepting my powerlessness rather than just admitting it.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Seacailin]

I HATE AL

Thanks Hipps. I am doing all that my sponsor says. I can't down this anymore. I have been beaten down. I am powerless.:surrender:

[Joanna]

I HATE AL

Mrs D thanks for your post. You may feel terrible but your words have helped me strengthen my resolve. For me I haven't been out with my friends in 7 weeks because I don't feel ready. Perhaps you could do this? At least for a while to make it easier for you? I remember you joined the site when I did. It's good to see you here again.

Forget about last night; recover from this hangover and look forward x:l

[Mrs Donovan]

I HATE AL

Thanks Joanna and everyone -

Am feeling a lot better tonight. This morning I felt positively suicidal! Ill and Depressed. Like you said Sea - it just isn't worth it.

Don't have any social events planned for a while so I can happily get back to my lovely sober life.

I've come so far - but I think the real challenge for me is to not drink around others when they are drinking - and like you said Joanne, I just don't feel strong enough for that yet. But there is no way I'm going to feel like this anymore. It's awful.

[cacky]

I HATE AL

Mrs D.

Did you read what you wrote? Im fascinated

"Since joining this site I have seriously changed my drinking habits. I used to drink alone with the kids, not any more. I'll never go back to that. I don't drink in the house period. I don't join DH if he has a beer after work. I LOVE not drinking, I LOVE waking up with a clear head, I LOVE feeling like I'm looking after myself."

Good for you. What you realized so early is what many people dont realize in a real long time. Im still only staying sober for others right now. You are making progress. One of my fanitical AA friends always says "Progress not Perfection" and it looks to me like you made progress. Way to go..you are an insperation.

Cacky

[Mrs Donovan]

I HATE AL

Cacky

Thank you so much for your kind words! Like you say - progress not perfection! Sounds like you're getting there too. If you can stay sober for others then you can stay sober for yourself too. You need to get a new focus. Stop telling yourself that you're denying yourself a treat, but more that you are rewarding yourself with other things now as alcohol is NOT a treat.

I was so miserable yesterday because I thought I'd really let myself down, but reading back what I wrote, I can see how far I have come since joining in January.

This site has been my saving grace. Reading through hundreds of posts and seeing how others feel and have overcome their demons has really helped. Also just telling myself over and over again every time I got a craving in the first weeks were "Alcohol is NOT a treat.......it is NOT a reward.......it only makes you feel like shit and it does every single time you drink it.......and I hate feeling like shit!"

I can honestly say my cravings are very manageable and I have barely noticed them of recent. I've noticeably had more energy and have really been enjoying my kids bath and bed time (my previous trigger time). And focusing more on myself by having nice baths at night as a treat, or having something nice for dinner.

It was just when I saw friends the other night, I knew that I wasn't strong enough not to drink (and I didn't want to not drink with them either).....but, the way I felt the next day has served as a good reminder of the old life I don't want back.

I've now got to decide whether I go completely tee-total, only drink on special occasions, or set myself a limit of 2 or 3 drinks everytime we socialise and don't go over it. Think I need longer alone by myself not drinking before I can face anyone socially again.

Good luck to you

[Barefoot]

I HATE AL

hate drinking

I pray for the day I can say what you have just written. I hate to drink but I hate to not just as much. I have not started my program yet. Two more weeks; go to the Dr. Friday hope for the RX vitamins etc. are ordered and on the way.

[Ripple]

I HATE AL

Mrs Donovan;569792 wrote: Blurrgghhh - I feel so bad! It's my first hangover in 2 weeks and a reminder of why I hate alcohol so much.

Since joining this site I have seriously changed my drinking habits. I used to drink alone with the kids, not any more. I'll never go back to that. I don't drink in the house period. I don't join DH if he has a beer after work. I LOVE not drinking, I LOVE waking up with a clear head, I LOVE feeling like I'm looking after myself.

But - I can't not drink when I'm with my friends. I don't want to be a social pariah so I figured it was ok to drink occasionally as long as I don't drink everyday. Except that if you have a drink after having a long time of not drinking, then the hangovers are HORRIBLE. My head is banging, I feel sick, I feel depressed. I feel guilty. I feel poisoned. :upset:

I'm seriously considering going all out and just never drinking again.

Mrs. D.. we look like total shit after a bender. it takes days to look human again. been there, done that.. your not alone. it took me 3 months sober before i realized who i really was ..? now, i am careful not to go back to a life centered around booze, its just not worth my time. be safe and continue trying.. thats all we can do.

Ripple. :h

[Sunbeam]

I HATE AL

The secret is to have just one glass, no more than once a week. I'm much better at once a week (or less) than I am at one glass. Not drinking will always be easier than stopping after starting, so many choose not to drink at all, which is a reasonable choice. But I feel just fine the next day when I do have just one glass, usually with dinner at a restaurant.