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**lushy** · September 4, 2006, 01:15 PM

Monday, September 3rd

Mary, I am impressed you were fine with one drink and did not even finish. I shamefully arrive here to the mods board after not a good weekend. I know I cannot keep it in the house either as it just screams my name so I have decided to not keep it in the house and if I do buy any wine it will be a small bottle, not 3-4 of them. I am feeling like a loser today and sick of myself. Tomorrow will be a new start as I will not be hungover!!!!

**soccermom** · September 4, 2006, 02:43 PM

Monday, September 3rd

Lush--We are here to help each other when we slip down these slippery slopes. Today is a new day. We are far from losers! We would not be here if we were.
Love to you!
sm-mary

**lushy** · September 4, 2006, 02:48 PM

Monday, September 3rd

Thanks Mary. That made me feel better.....love this board!!!

**MKR** · September 4, 2006, 03:06 PM

Monday, September 3rd

Hi Lush and soccermom Mary,

WOW, Lush, believe me I did have a super hard struggle in there for awhile. I did the same weekend thing but unlike you I ran away from the boards. I think a part of it was so hard to tell myself this was it, I wasn't going after that buzz, ever again! Well, I did and then I found I feel better not drinking like that, but it did take a awhile and was a real mental challenge more than a physical challenge. I THINK YOU ARE DOING GREAT!! Mary is right, no losers here!

I don't know if this will help but a quick story: I had to start watching for triggers and one was stopping off at the liquor store conveniently on my way home from physical therapy. Once I stopped buying, I felt better about that but was tempted in the grocery store even for quite some time. The other day my full weeks worth of groceries including some items for my parents was way lower than it used to be, it hit me . . . no alcohol purchases or sodas to go with them.

If you feel it will call too loudly, try a couple weeks without it in the house and see how you are doing. It may really help. I have kept rum out and Judie says for months she kept hard liquor out of the house.

Wishing you a wonderful day, you have the strength!
Hugs and Love,
Mary

**Patti** · September 4, 2006, 03:38 PM

Monday, September 3rd

Hi everyone,
Mary, good for you on not finshing your one and only drink and Lush we are all here for you, I bought 6 pack of beer on Thrusday night and told myself that this had to last the 4 day holiday and it did, I would normally buy a 12 and then a 12 the next day and so on. So, if a old beer drinker like me can go to the liqure store and only by a 6 pack you can also only buy that 1 bottle of wine.
We all believe in you!

**lushy** · September 4, 2006, 03:47 PM

Monday, September 3rd

Thanks for the kind words Mary. There are a lot of Mary's moderating, aren't there?? I know the key is changing the habit and the triggers but it is so hard to break a 20+ year habit. I am glad we are all here to support each other. You two Mary's made me feel a lot better today. Thanks!!!! And I had the same thing happen with the groceries last week when I was AF for four days. I could not believe how cheap my groceries were. I then realized that perhaps I can splurge on the seafood I am always depriving myself of because I think it is too expensive when the reality is is that the wine is what is costing our grocery bills to be so high. Ridiculous!!!! Let's stay in touch!!!

**lushy** · September 4, 2006, 04:12 PM

Monday, September 3rd

Thanks to you too Patti. I did not see your post until after I had posted. I will keep coming here this week for support for sure. My other motivator is I MUST lose 10 pounds before October 10th when an old boyfriend is coming to visit with his family. I was a 23-year-old hottie when I knew him and I am now almost 40!!! Egads!!!!!!!! I can look okay on a good day but am too heavy all thanks to my best friend, Mr. Vino. No more dammit!!!! No more!!!! Have a great day everyone!!! One more day of relaxing for me before the school routine starts up tomorrow. Time to start a new routine all the way around I would say.

**dilayne** · September 4, 2006, 06:11 PM

Monday, September 3rd

Good evening. Well, I know what my trigger is, and that is relationship stuff..especially lately as we are in such a transitional state. I'm a little dissappointed to have to report that I did end up drinking a bottle of pinot last night, when I probabaly would have just had 3 glasses had I not let myself get carried away by a dissappointment. Friday night I think I had one glass of wine, Saturday night I didn't even want any but when my husband told me last night in the middle of a movie that he was working today and planned a meeting with his men's group for tonight (Labor Day)...well, BIG TRIGGER ... my heart wants have a healthy detachment about such stupid decisions on his part, but sometimes ..well, that's the rest of the story..

I did get a HUGE lesson this summer ladies (my therapy did help me with this) ...I saw how brutal I was with myself when I did slip..it showed up in a dream..it was one of those dreams that has stayed with me..I mean I would beat myself up without any mercy if I has a slip like this before which only made things worse, and I stopped doing that that very day..so I'm not doing that today, it doesn't happen very often, and thank GOD, it was a small bottle..what is that about 5 glasses of wine...well, about 5 months ago, that would have been a large bottle, or maybe even more, and now I know what the trigger is and I am also doing major work all around that very issue, and I am not crucifying myself anymore....major progress!

Namaste!

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