Okay, had a bad week last week--fourteen glasses of wine, when I am trying to limit it to a total of 7 or 8 per week. Monday and Tuesday were AF, last night drank four glasses of wine, and am contemplating how nice a glass of wine would be right now. However, I don't keep it in the house, and my husband will not comment if I go out to the store but he will raise his eyebrow eloquently. That's almost worse. He says he doesn't think I am an alcoholic and that I worry too much about it but it is apparent that I like to drink. He says I'm anxious and it makes me feel better. This is true. His mother was a terrible alcoholic and died of the effects in her fifties, so while I want to believe him, I also think that this is worrying me and therefore I need to feel more in control.
Weight--last September, after feeling progressively worse from about March, I went into a total slump. Gained 20 pounds (at least, I am avoiding the scale) in one month, felt somewhat depressed, anxiety off the charts, memory and organizing abilities shot to hell. I knew, knew, knew I was hypothyroid. Went into the internist 3 times over the summer, and he kept saying the tests were within normal limits. His attitude was annoying--kept saying I was depressed--but I could take all the iodine I wanted. I've been going to him for 15 years, so this was uncalled for. Besides, I know depression, and this was not it. Finally tracked down an endocrinologist (apparently they are rare around here) but it took until December 30 to get in. Then I had to wait 10 days for the tests. It was like crawling through a desert. Tired, anxious, but insomnia as well. But, tah-dah, tests came back, endocrinologist said that if I wasn't hypothyroid who was? Meds began to work after about three months, but unfortunately the weight is only slowly going off. Bought 5 pairs of "fat pants" last Sunday, because all my winter clothes do not fit. I'm following the Weight Watcher'sprogram which has always worked for me before, so I am hoping for some success here. Incidentally, I have a new internist, also a new gynecologist ( a woman, wow, what a difference), and the endocrinologist wears his hair in a ponytail and tells jokes. So things are coming together, I hope.
Now, if I can avoid the wine tonight. . .
Ellen
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