Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 3
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 template Next
    #1

    Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

    Hi All

    ... Hopefully and without being too much of a pessimist..... I would like to ask if anyone here can truly mod??? I am now on day 26 A/F and feel quite scared at the thought of moving to the next step of my goal (I do not intend to even try at the moment). My overall goal in to drink moderately like the majority of “normal” people in this world, however I do not want to have constant turmoil with myself when I am not drinking or when indeed I am drinking. I am fine now (and pls don’t say well don’t drink then – i don’t mean i am fine forever ) - I am heading to the weekend and I don't want a drink - but preferably I do want to drink in the future....

    Has ANYONE done this successfully???? Does anyone here drink in moderation without it being an all consuming thought?? Has anyone managed to say moderate, are now a year to two years on and don't have a constant nagging in their head? ... you know the thoughts of... two days until I can drink, must only have a few drinks, mustn’t drink the next day, that’s it keep being good, only 5 more days till next weekend - you can do it, have to stay strong, don't want to be weak...etc etc ex-bloody-cetra...:nutso:

    I have done the A/F 3 times and have slowly gone back to the way I was - I have however addressed a lot of poo in my life now which certainly contributed to my lack of strength and mental state and fallin off the wagon....(these are not excuses as to why i drink i know not drinkin is within my power and shouldn't be influenced by outside factors, I know this its just easier to start on my journey when i have dealt with some of these factors)

    I guess I just want to hear that a few have done it and are OK ... or is this indeed a myth??? I see plenty who abstain on here because they can't mod but no-one so far who has put their hand up and said that they successfully have. By successful I do not mean a life of turmoil....

    Thanks for reading - I feel annoyed today and I don't know why, I feel annoyed because I am so weak, annoyed that I got myself in this hole, annoyed that I may have messed this up for good and never be able to drink???
    Tags: None
    #2
    Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

    HDB:l Looks like we're in the same boat with the same amount of days and the same question I'm hoping I can just have a glass of wine here and there and for it not to be an issue.. I'm hoping that being AF for 30days and finding MWO , reading the posts and using the tools will keep me grounded and that I won't fall back into that "oh WTH , I'll finish the bottle ! hmm , thats NOT gonna HAPPEN !!! I'm NEVER GOING BACK THERE !! :h Em
    Non Drinker 9/09
    Non Smoker 6/09
    Tennis Anyone ?

    Comment

      #3
      Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

      Hi HDB,

      I'm not in a position to answer that question right now. I have gone for just over a year with what I considered for me to be modding. As in, I drank no more than 2 glasses of wine per week and I never drank two days in a row. Unfortuantley I am no longer in that place anymore and have also found myself questioning whether I can really drink moderately or not.

      If you are seriously considering modding then I strongly suggest you get a plan together. There have been some great discussions on the Long Term Mod threads, especially at the end of last year or the beginning of this year when we made our pacts

      Which ever route you choose, I wish you well.

      P.S. Feel free to pop into the Mod Squad thread to ask questions or join in the chatter.
      "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

      Comment

        #4
        Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

        Hi Hdb, Emmy and DeeBee,

        I'm one of the many who struggle with the questions you're asking. For a short while, not long ago, I felt pretty clear that I should never try to mod again (see my thread, "Why I want to let go of moderation") I felt at peace with the decision for the first time in my life. But that peace really didn't last. I hit some unhappy, tension-filled days, and wanted to soothe my soul with alcohol. As soon as I did, it brought back to me the instant relief...The comfort I have yet to find through anything else, be it supplements or exercise; affirmations or distractions....

        Typically I stop at 2-3 drinks. I haven't been truly drunk in a long time (maybe 2 years?). Is that moderate? Sometimes I just want to leave all of this obsessing behind...Stop coming to MWO, stop thinking about it so much, stop planning. I want to let myself have two drinks every night if I want to. I don't know for sure what would happen then, but I suspect I'd go back to letting it escalate to 4 or 5 drinks now and then. And then I'd struggle with myself all over again.

        Anyway, I don't think you'll find many (if any) people at MWO who truly drink moderately without significant effort. If they were doing that, what would be the real reason to come here? To help others, I guess. Or just to stay in touch with old friends. But I think it's usually more than that...It's because none of us can honestly do it without at least some planning and self-correcting; struggling and re-committing. If I've got that wrong, I'll be really interested to hear it.
        "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

        Comment

          #5
          Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

          My experience....

          I have been coming to MWO since late february of this year so approaching 9 months.

          I initially did 55 days AF, so about 8 weeks. During this time I learnt to do all the normal things I would generally do in my life without AL.

          I was a weekend (saturday) binge drinker. Would sometimes, but not that often drink at other times in the week, which would tend to be fairly sensible affairs. I would also allow myself to drink most days over Christmas or of we were on holiday, or if it was a bank holiday!

          I have been with the mod squad since April when I started modding. All my results are on drink tracker. I have slowly improved is all I can say. To the point that I feel I am genuinely drinking like a normal person (at the moment, as this is all still early days and anything can happen). I now dont drink Sunday-Thursday (unless very special reason). I tend to to drink once a week (or not at all) on either friday or saturday. I tend to have 2-3 drinks when I do drink. The drinking of much lower amounts like this has taken a few months to get right. I now find that I am happy stopping at these levels most of the time.

          Of course by coming to MWO and recording on DT it would be impossible to say that I do not think about my AL consumption. I do have to be aware of myself. But it is not all consuming anymore at all. I see this place now more as a home, a group of friends with a similiar interest if you will.

          I still say it depends on who you are and what your background has been, and for many modding is just not possible. But I do also say that for some, it is realistic as a long term life style. As with any longterm life style it may go wrong on occasion. It is when it goes wrong any more than on occasion that it has to be asked whether it can work. At the moment I am absolutley confident that I can do this, but I also accept that if I ever wasnt, i would reassess my goals.

          Good luck in whatever you decide...

          Moo
          "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
          but in what direction we are moving."

          Comment

            #6
            Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

            I responded to this under General Discussion.
            My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

            Comment

              #7
              Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

              I think I'm finding out that I can't... once I start I can't stop.. and that can go on for weeks till I quit a few days..
              Mike...

              Comment

                #8
                Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                Thanks guys and gals, I to want to do the same mooderator but dont know whether I can. I posted this is two locations (stupidly). I will keep the other thread in general up to date so apologise and thank you for your comments x

                Comment

                  #9
                  Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                  Well (and this is true) I was A/F or sober as we in AA call it for 26 years. I made the decision to abstain and I made the decision in March on my 26th anniversary to start drinking wine. So far, so good, although I am unsure whether I drink too much or not. I am 62 and the wine enhances my palate and I enjoy having a small cellar. I have no craving for hard liquor and prefer non-alcoholic beer. On some night I will drink a bottle of wine (750l) and most days 2-3 glasses. I find taht my mind is clear in the morning and this is one reason I allowed myself to come back. I have just started a week or so off, as I feel I was craving too much. This may be a slip and it may not. A major difference is that I am on anti depressants (Prozac, Buspar) which did not exist 26 years ago . After 26 years I did not go back to drinking to get drunk and have reached that stage two or three times since March. We will see.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                    wbirke,
                    We would welcome your contributions in the Mod Squad, under Long Term Moderation. People don't post under Short Term much, for a bunch of reasons.
                    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                      Nope.
                      AF April 9, 2016

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                        Double nope. These two threads might interest you. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ion-37192.html and

                        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ere-27156.html Good luck whatever you decide.
                        I am a sobriety tart. AA/Smart/RR philosophy, meds/diet/exercise/prayer,rabbbits feet/four leaf clovers/horseshoes. Yes please.I will have them all thank you very much.Bring them on


                        There is no way the bottle is going to be stronger than I am.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                          I have to say I have the same question in my mind. And the statistics do not look good! Well, I'm the type to have to find out for myself so I'll se how it goes.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                            ML, there are several people here modding successfully. I think I am, and then there's Eve, and others who post. I think part of why we don't see more people on the modding boards is that if you're not having problems, you don't feel compelled to come here and post. Just a possibility. I feel like you do, though, and absolutely do not want to get back to a problem drinking level. I want the best of all worlds and am willing to work for that. And, after my 2.5 af months, I know I can be happy doing that too (go back to being af). Like you say, if we have the desire to try it, we have to find out for ourselves.

                            KG

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                              Thanks KG!

                              Anyway time will tell. I'm going to search around the internet for some real moderation success stories. It's hard because with such a lot of negativity about modding it's like the odds are stacked against us before we even start. If there was some positive evidence out there probably more people would try it and be successful. Oh well, I'll stop rambling now and get back to work!

                              Have a great day!

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 3 template Next
                              Working...
                              X