Thursday September 21st

[Mary Anne]

Thursday September 21st

haha

Judie you are a trip!!! I am hangin!! Things are getting better, had a good night, will be ok!!:thanks: :h :l

Mary Anne

[Guest]

Thursday September 21st

Does your hubby encourage you to drink and then mock you when you have had too much? Posted by one who has had too muych fir first time this week./

[eustacia]

Thursday September 21st

Hi, all,

Jenneh, your kind words made me cry. I'm still kind of new here and it's hard for me to know that I am wanted here. I know that something that I wrote yesterday? two days ago? offended at least one person. I promise not to write about weight--at least today.

I didn't go to work today. Didn't even get dressed. And, yes, I've had wine today. About one third of a bottle so far. I'm not sure how many glasses that is because I've been only pouring a splash into the bottom of a glass. Somehow, I find its presence comforting even if it's just a little taste.

Really bad news. My brother-in-law who is a physician called to say that he had spoken to a physician caring for my father-in-law and the chance of his survival is bleak. My father-in-law is very old and he is in heart failure. Not once in the 26 years that I have known him has a cross word passed between us. My own dad is a really good guy but he's very formal and so I have always felt that my warmer relationship with my other "dad" was something special. I adore my father-in-law because of who he is and how generous he is to others, even strangers. He's also been a very loving grandfather. My kids never knew their paternal grandmother because she died many years before they were born. And they have had the all too receint experience in losing their loving and playful maternal grandmother. My family lives on one coast of America and my brother-in-law lives on the other. We have a cardiologist in the family on this coast who is exceptionally well-known, which means that he is often traveling around the world lecturing and cannot be of reliable immediate help. We're trying to figure out where Dad should spend his remaining days. I think that given the fact that our cardiologist relative is not reliably around, he should move to be near my brother-in-law even though the idea of not having him nearby breaks my heart. I'm exhausted by the number of deaths that have occurred in my life over a 15 month span. I lost seven family members (including my mom), two friends and three inlaws. There hadn't been a death in my biological family in about 30 years. I know that that sounds weird, particularly given the fact that we are a fairly large family. Actually, it has not been quite 30 years. I lost a lovely young cousin 28 years ago.

I'm trying to decide whether or not to stop trying to moderate for now. I know that I am must control my drinking because I might be especially susceptible to harmful effects of even moderate alcohol intake. I'm wondering if anyone has any advice about the wisdom of continuing with this program at a time when I know little tastes of alcohol would be comforting.

E

[Waves 2]

Thursday September 21st

Hi Eustacia,
I know you are going through a really hard time at the moment. Getting drunk can help you forget for a while and then the hurt comes back more. No-one can know just what you go through even though there are many of us who have to watch suffering every day. Each one of us is an individual and has our own individual reactions to trauma. Do what you feel you must. However, this has not been a good week for me and mine. The alcohol tonight has not helped. Whatever you do I wish yoo all the best. BUT ____ De cide -- Don't let the alc, dictate like I have tonight. If this makes no sense I am sorry. Too much vino. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lushy]

Thursday September 21st

E, my heart really goes out to you.....really. I am so sorry for your dear FIL. Sounds like you have been blessed to have him in your life. I, too, am familiar with many losses and unfortunately I do not deal with them in a healthy way as I always turn to wine. So I am afraid I cannot give you a big rah-rah talk and tell you not to and stick with the program strictly and keep the wine out of your house because I know how I deal with sadness. Just know that you can turn here for shoulders to lean on regardless of what you do. You are in my thoughts!

Molly

P.S. Waves I am sorry for you too. You have been so quiet of late. We are here for you too if you need to talk or vent!!!

[J S]

Thursday September 21st

That sucks!

Hi E,

I feel really sad for you. I too have had a lot of death around me in the last 7 months. Some that have been old and dear to me. Some that have been very young (25, 40, 41,42). It really hits home, the number of days we may have left.

I know that the wine feels good for now. But you do deserve to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself to. We have to learn to cope during "all" times of our life, good, bad, stressful, happy. You get the idea. I hope you can balance yourself out, you sound like a really nice person. I would like you to experience and enjoy several AF days. Oh... the feeling you will have.

Thinking of you.

J

[eustacia]

Thursday September 21st

Waves and Molly--

You know what, you're both right. I feel like I would like to wrap myself in a warm quilt and make the world go away. How's that for denial?

Thanks for your kindnesses.

E

[InnerStrength]

Thursday September 21st

E, you are such a beautiful person and I am so sad to hear your news. I think that whatever you decide to do in terms of moderating is your choice at this time. I know you are not a "big drinker" per se in any event and that you are more of the type to pour splashes of wine into a glass for the comfort of it as you are doing now. I think that you will be best suited to decide whether you will want to continue to moderate your drinking right now but regardless of your decision, I hope you will know that our arms (and this forum) remain wide open to you. Please stay close, regardless. Message me anytime, OK?
Love
Jen

[MKR]

Thursday September 21st

Hey mods!

Is it too late in the day to post the Universe?
9 out of 10 old souls agree, that one of the very best things about spiritual maturity, besides the discounts, is appreciating that age is so very meaningless.

U rock,
***** The Universe

Came in this morning to my DSL line down again. I mean what do I pay Qwest almost $400/month for? GOOD GRIEF. Total rip off. Spent almost an hour on Friday on the phone with them over the DSL line down and Qwest's fault. then started with my bill got it lowered a couple hundred bucks a month then the guy says . . .I just have to have my supervisor OK this, hold please . . .YEP . . . IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO PLACE A CALL. GRRRRR. Been catching up all afternoon.

Rachele- Hurray!

Jenneh, thanks for remembering everyone! I think it is special when you take the time to do that. 3 WHOLE DAYS AF!!! WAHOOO!!

Judie, you are sooooooo funny, you always make me laugh!! Loved the story of the pic to sister! Did you go get the other equipment out there?

Mary Anne, welcome back - you can do this!

Eustacia, you are a very eloquent writer, I totally saw your daughter on her way to school from your description - and the resignation. Sometimes kids just feel like too much to deal with especially when you are contemplating the short time you have left with your FIL. I am so sorry. I don't know any advice about the wine, just know we are all here for you.

Waves and all who have been losing so many friends and family it is so incredibly hard to deal with. We are here though to talk about it and vent on it.

Speaking of FIL, mine is getting back into town in about an hour so I gotta get home and make dinner earlier tonight.

For all you lovelies I didn't name personally - I LOVE YOU ALL!

Hugs,
Mary

[soccermom]

Thursday September 21st

I'm rushed tonight too--but thinking of you all...
E--thinking of you and wanting you to know that we are here for you. You know, sometimes, when things are tough for me during the day, just knowing that I will be able to catch up with you all later, thinking of you all....knowing you're there for me...helps...we're here for you.
Love you all..rushing tonight to get the kids..
sm-mary

[Mary Anne]

Thursday September 21st

Hey there

feeling guilty cuz I had a nice "controlled night"so far....eustaicia and Waves.......my heart feels for you, may be right behind you as I have stated numerous times, may be abs for a while mods may have just been a dream we will see.........only we can tell in our hearts!

Mary, I love all you have to say, you are truly an inspiration!!!

love all of you!!

Am turning in after a night of sushi and saki (spelled correctly??)

Mary Anne:l :h