Once upon a time...

[Hawk]

Once upon a time...

oh dear. This didn't go as planned.

[tawnyfrog]

Once upon a time...

"and in a seat he did stuff him"


hmmmm - different connotations here in Oz but ... each to his own ...

[lushy]

Once upon a time...

LOL Hawk!! I thought it was great!!!

[irishlady]

Once upon a time...

Feel sorry for Fan, with muffs on his face,
He's getting hot, must get out of this place,
He tries to shout but his voice is a mumble,
And pretty soon the muffs start to grumble...

Where is that Fan? It's getting hot in here,
We want his oscillating to cool this air,
A muff gave a scream and jumped up from her place,
And there beneath her they all saw Fans face......

[weemelonhead]

Once upon a time...

don't scream..do not fear
hear the fanman entreat
i'm just oscillating
to turn down this heat

I do have my uses
as well you all know
not only for cooling
but 'fan-uendo'......

I ease your discomfort
with fast spinning wings
then heat you all up again
wiv rood sounding things

you know that you like it
so come, don't play coy
and get back on my face
I'll be a good boy..........

[irishlady]

Once upon a time...

The muffin looked down, saw the look in Fans eyes,
Said " no thanks my dear, it would not be wise ",
" You won't be good, you'll be terribly rude,
And at my age now I'm a bit of a prude "...

[betty boop]

Once upon a time...

LOL

[weemelonhead]

Once upon a time...

well you're not just a prude
the Fannifer said
you're also quite blind
coz that isn't my head

so that thing that you think
is my eye, dear muff
is actually something quite different
No guff......

just take a step closer
oh myopic one
and see that those 'cheeks'
are fixed to my bum!

[irishlady]

Once upon a time...

the muffin leaned closer and removed her specs,
why Fan, you old codger, I thought they were pecs,
come look fellow muffins, come look at these,
tiny and green, they look just like peas..

As the muffins all crowded around for a look
poor Fan tried to cover them up with a book,
all of a sudden the bus gathered speed
and Fan, oh my God, Fan has just pee'd!!!

[weemelonhead]

Once upon a time...

and then a young muffin was hit in the eye
by the pee
as the fan
was turned up to 'HIGH"

the bus it got messy
a shower of gold!
until a bright muffin
put ocillations on 'HOLD'

'Gosh sorry' gasped fan
as the muffins all squeaked
someone trod on my prostate
and caused me to leak

[irishlady]

Once upon a time...

The muffins they all got a little bit sticky
as they hurried to clean up Fans bit of icky..
I'm sorry, so sorry said Fan now in tears,
I haven't done anything like that in years...

Oh Fan don't be sad, now there's a good boy,
I'm not sad, said Fan, these are tears of joy,
Oh my I feel good, and it is my belief,
I could conquer the world after that bit of relief...

[weemelonhead]

Once upon a time...

'tears of joy?' asked the muffins
'is that all this is'
'thank goodness' ! they breathed......
'we thought it was p*ss'

The fanman's revealing his feminine side
we knew it would happen
if he came for the ride

Three cheers now girlies
and hip hip hurrah
The Fan-transformation's complete
he's come far

when we first picked him up
at testosterones ville
we thought it was hopeless,
way over the hill

the job was too large
the man was a mess
but now he's a girly
well who would have guessed

so the bus tootled off,
drove into the sun
but those naughty old muffins
had not finished their fun....................

[irishlady]

Once upon a time...

Why Fan who would have thought, your looking quite girly,
I think from now on we will call you Shirley,
from deep in Fans throat there came a whimper,
okay call me Shirley, he said with a simper...

so that once strong man now wears a dress,
his nails are all lacquered but his hairs still a mess,
his mascara is on, his eyebrows are plucked,
oh dear, poor Fan, you've been truly fu***d...

[weemelonhead]

Once upon a time...

don't pity me please
the Fan simpered back
coz now I'm a girl
I can lay on my back!

and file my nails
and highlight my hair
the chores i'll get done
with my legs in the air

it's not such a bad lark
being a bird
the rumour that they have it worst
is absurd

my next course of action
my ultimate plan
is to find a rich husband
i know JUST the man

I was looking at Macks
but he smells a bit fishy
and then I thought Pauly
those Scots Guys are dishy....

Or perhaps I'll look elsewhere
The cycling man
if anyone can please me
That AAthlete chap can

but wait, I'm forgetting
there's other men too
i don't want a 'Name'
what's a nice girl to do?.........

oh muffins advise me
how on earth should I chose
and what should I wear?
and does that match these shoes?

I take it all back
you girls have it tough
i don't want no boobies
enough is enough

I promise dear Muffins
my lesson is learned
now give me back manhood
This worm wants to turn...............

[irishlady]

Once upon a time...

so Fan had his chance and he threw it away,
but he said with a wink, maybe some day,
I'll get me a dress and won't look a fright
as long as my tackle is held in tight..

But what of young Pedro, he's not made a sound,
come my good muffins, lets run him to ground..
we've had fun with Fan, now let him sleep,
come out here young Pedro, come earn your keep...

But Pedro was shivering under a seat,
all he could see was the muffins feet,
they ran up and down all over the place,
one nearly kicked him right in the face...

come on out here and just be a man,
we've rung all we can out of simpering Fan,
come on, come on, and don't make a fuss,
we desperatly need you, to drive this big bus,