Saturday Oct. 7th
Dear all,
And Bec, in reply to your first post today, all I can say is "yes, yes, yes!"
(I am replying generally to whether i think your dilemma with your hubby is normal).
Why? Because when people have had issues with alcohol for some time (call it what you will), they also tend to develo certain patterns of behaviour with the people they we love (sorry, but its true) - ex: i have tended to have a relationship in PAST with my husband - where - esp on weekends - i would tend to be the lovey-dovey "i-will-do-anything-cook-you-breakfast-in-bed-what-can-i-do-i-am-so-sorry" type of person. Why? Because a lot of the times, especially on weekends I was waking up hungover, ashamed, and often times making up for something i did, or just feeling hateful toward myself, ashamed or low. And I was trying to make up for that).
So you see, whether it was me trying to make up for some perceived failure within myself or it was my husband bailing me out for something stupid i had done when i was drunk, the point is that so much was centred around my drinking. And now, NOW that i am taking control of my drinking, and by extension, my life, I could see why perhaps he might feel stressed by the change. And apparently this is common. So Bec, what I am saying in this ridiculously long rant is that what you are going through is SO common. I have read about it time and time again and had many people tell me about it firsthand. It's so common to establish certain patterns of dealings and when a person changes, its totally natural for the other person to be nervous...
So don't worry. Hubby is proud and loves you. It will be okay! I hope that made some sense.
Love you!
Jen
Dear all,
And Bec, in reply to your first post today, all I can say is "yes, yes, yes!"
(I am replying generally to whether i think your dilemma with your hubby is normal).
Why? Because when people have had issues with alcohol for some time (call it what you will), they also tend to develo certain patterns of behaviour with the people they we love (sorry, but its true) - ex: i have tended to have a relationship in PAST with my husband - where - esp on weekends - i would tend to be the lovey-dovey "i-will-do-anything-cook-you-breakfast-in-bed-what-can-i-do-i-am-so-sorry" type of person. Why? Because a lot of the times, especially on weekends I was waking up hungover, ashamed, and often times making up for something i did, or just feeling hateful toward myself, ashamed or low. And I was trying to make up for that).
So you see, whether it was me trying to make up for some perceived failure within myself or it was my husband bailing me out for something stupid i had done when i was drunk, the point is that so much was centred around my drinking. And now, NOW that i am taking control of my drinking, and by extension, my life, I could see why perhaps he might feel stressed by the change. And apparently this is common. So Bec, what I am saying in this ridiculously long rant is that what you are going through is SO common. I have read about it time and time again and had many people tell me about it firsthand. It's so common to establish certain patterns of dealings and when a person changes, its totally natural for the other person to be nervous...
So don't worry. Hubby is proud and loves you. It will be okay! I hope that made some sense.
Love you!
Jen
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