Wed. Oct. 11th

[Guest]

It's WEDNESDAY!
(shortest thread starter EVER!)
Have a great day! I'm off to work and will check in later.
Love to ALL MUFFINS!!:h
12 days til the RACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Quiescent]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Good Morning Muffins!

Was AF Yesterday. I should say that 200mgs of topa is helping more than any other dose. Yes, it does make me loopy and all other doses did that for awhile, as well as making me tired and feeling somewhat out of it. But it goes away after awhile, that feeling lessens a little everyday.

I have heard it said, that the feeling from the side effects from topamax, is worse than a hangover, and for people who are reading this that have severe daily, or almost daily, hangovers, I must disagree.

I can function much better on Topamax, knowing there is light at the end of this dark tunnel and hope for me. As opposed to having nowhere to turn and scared my drinking would become worse with time and that my future would be wrecked in more ways than I could count by this progressive disease that I felt powerless over.

I can see hope where there was none before. I have this program, my friends here, RJ and the drug topamax to thank for that.

My fight is far from over but I can see, now, at 200mgs, how it just might work.

I have other things to work on as well.

I see over on the abstinence board they are trying to sort out all kinds of things that I think are worth while to ponder.

It is a touchy subject but I wonder if any of you, my friends, can relate.

I told my husband not long ago.......There have been very few times that he and I have had sex that I have not been inehbraited to some degree.
So being intimate and being sober are not sinonimos.

It just one of the many things I have to relearn to do sober

Good Luck today Allie, you and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers:l

Lots of love:h

[InnerStrength]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Good morning all!
Morning Bec - Thanks for starting the thread sweety - yay for you - you are such an inspiration! I really have to get my butt in gear in terms of exercising! I used to run but really let that slip
Rachele - Yes. I can relate to what you are saying - I think that when we drink so often, there are MANY things that we have to relearn to do sober, and intimacy is often one of those things. I can guarantee you are not alone in that, and I relate. I am so glad the 200mg is working for ya! I just went up to 200mg yesterday too! Are you finding a major difference?
Guys I would address you all individually, but I am so busy at work, I just dont have time...so I am just addressing the people who posted today...hope no one is offended
But I was thinkin' - I like how on the abs board, they have a 'topic' everyday - and I think they are helpful because they help us sort through our feelings etc. and get things out in the open about alcohol each day. You know, i think it helps people in their journey/recovery because it helps identify triggers/behaviours. etc. etc. and can really bring issues to light.
What would you guys think if we did something similar here? Not everyday even, and answers dont have to be elaborate. You dont even have to answer if you dont want - just something to think about each day...
I could come up with the topics (admittedly, I would probably steal a lot of them from the abs board...I just think they might be helpful)
....thoughts???
Hugs
Jen

[Quiescent]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Jen,

I'm with ya girlfriend

Big difference on 200mgs....I thought about having a drink, but taking the step from thinking about it and actually doing it were further apart. We keep alcohol in our house so it's very easy for me to take that itsy bitsy step from thinking about it to actually doing it. But I work around alcohol and can have it for free at work so I'm often tempted. I have to slay the beast eye to eye or it's not going to work for me (sigh)

[lushy]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Now that I am over being offended I was not personally addressed by you this morning Jenneh I will say I like your idea. The abs board has given me much to think about lately and really been helpful. I don't care if you steal their topics either. So I nominate you to be the official thought provoker here in mods land.

An old boyfriend called me last night after 20 years and he is in town with his family and wants to get together tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could die. Not that I am an ugly hag but I am at least 20 pounds heavier than when he saw me last. Dammit, if I had known he was coming I would have gotten on the Becca train and started exercising. That was a good lesson in itself; to not put off anything because you just never know. If I go for a walk this afternoon do you think I could lose 10-15 pounds by this evening????!!!! I have a fairly slimming black outfit that I will put on to help.

To all of you here in mods lands hope you all have a great day. We need someone to pick up where we left off on Once Upon A Time. Jen is recovering from PMS over there.........hugs to all!!

[Quiescent]

Wed. Oct. 11th

:H

[InnerStrength]

Wed. Oct. 11th

I just love Lusch. JUST ABSOLUTELY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is that cheesy? 'Cause its true. I am so lame. Its official.



Ok topic for the day is coming shortly.

[lushy]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Thanks Jen, the feeling is mutual. Check out the picture of my new home over on Once Upon A Time courtesy of Rachele.....

[dilayne]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Mornin' Glories,
Flying by with no time to write...Just wanted to say I like the topic idea...there is so much diversity amongst us, especially those of us who are attempting moderation (I think it's also important to remember that our diversity also lies in our experiences with alcohol..some of us have long histories of drinking daily, while others are trying to manage occassional binge drinking) that a topic would give us a common place to share our (as taken from AA) experience, strengthand hope...and also to add our struggles. Great idea!

bbl muffins!

[InnerStrength]

Wed. Oct. 11th

First Mod topic

Okay mods
I have come up with our first mod topic. Hopefully you wont be disappointed. And I hope it doesnt provoke too much rantnig (but maybe that is good!
Here it is:
What have you found to be particularly challenging about cutting back/moderating your drinking since you have started your program?

For me, I have found to be extremely challenging the fact, for example, that my hubby expects nothing to really change except that I will drink less. Example, he still expects to be able to associate with all the same people the exact same way, I KNOW he still wants to be able to drink to excess sometimes (though he has now agreed to not drink with me - bless him - well, at least around me :s); he expects me to be the same old me - just sans alcohol - ie - he can't 'handle' my mood swings. It's stressful 'on him'. He can't understand why I am annoyed when he smokes pot on an almost daily basis etc. In other words, I think he kind of expects this to be easier on me than it is.. and that is really hard on me, because I can't really fully make him understand.....

I have also found challenging the isolation that has come with the AF that I have been doing. I have not been associating with my old friends because they are all heavy drinkers and right now, it would clearly not be healthy for me to be with them (either they would not understand or I would drink. Period). I have found I sit at home a lot with my husband, watching tv which hasent been too bad. I am very nervous though because he travels a lot and leaves again to go on a trip from Oct 24 - Nov. 4th again.

I find it VERY CHALLENGING managing my stress. I have always relied on alcohol to take away my stress (you know, that immediate "stress" relief of a glass of wine....) I am still trying to find alternate ways to relieve stress and this is a MAJOR issue for me. I have to work on this and would welcome suggestions. I am thinking of joiining a local gym since I KNOW that is great for this....and would help with the isolation thing too

So there are my major challenges that I face right now....

Hope this is a good first topic.....next!?

Love ya
Jen

[lushy]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Great topic and I have to say I echo a lot of what you said. My husband puts no chemicals in his body, not even coffee. He was blessed with happy wiring in his brain and he has had a very sheltered life. Not that that is a bad thing but he just cannot grasp all of the crap that has happened in my life that has brought me to this point. He does not "get" why I just cannot go days and days without drinking. When we were away this weekend he made himself one cocktail and he was loopy within minutes. He said to me that he could never imagine drinking every day and feeling like that all of the time!!!! Talk about a difference in our brain chemistries.

I started isolating myself years ago because I did not like the bar scene anymore and I knew I could drink much cheaper at home. I have found much comfort in my solitude because I really enjoy spending time alone, even when I am not drinking. Sadly, as has been discussed around here before I have made drinking become too much of a part of everything I do from doing the laundry, watching TV, etc., so it is that habit I need to break. I equate being at home with drinking now so I know I need to get out and be more active during the day. I know positively Jen that getting out and exercising will help us and get the endorphins going. We just need to do it and stop talking about it. Like you my major challenge is dealing with the anxiety and anger I feel when I do not drink. But I also know that that would decrease the more AF days I do.

What about you other moderators? What are your challenges and how are you working through them?

[Quiescent]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Thank you for starting the topic Jen,

Particularly challenging again, for me is just learning to spend my free time without alcohol. What will I do for fun now. I literally designed my life and every social event in it around alcohol.

The challenge for me is to learn to have fun again. To spend quality time doing things that don't revolve around alcohol.

I think it's just going to take a lot of time and a lot of practice.

The more I do things that are fun or relaxing while I'm not drinking, the easier that will become.

I will be anxious at first and I will have to learn how to calm myself and get through it knowing I can come out on the other side, sober.

[InnerStrength]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Yes, Rachele
I agree. This is another major challenge for me too. The fun thing. All of my idea of "fun" revolves around alcohol - more or less. So this too, is another challenge for me as well. Thanks for reminding me of this...

[Allie]

Wed. Oct. 11th

Wow... I can relate to everything everybody has said. Particularly you Imagine with what you said about sex with your husband. (dont kill me please for saying the "s" word here, but its true). Sex is so much more fun with a good buzz and one of the main reasons I started drinking was because I was really shy and hated it. So when I "came out of my shell" in bed so to speak, my husband was like WOW!! I went from not being able to take my clothes off with the lights on to diving off the dresser on top of him wearing kinky lingerie! Okay... sorry, dont laugh. But now I have to find that "balance". You know I need work in that area when my husband says, "Can I get you some wine?" I know what he is really saying is "Can you please get a buzz tonight because I want some of that good sex!"

And like Jenneh, finding replacements for the time spent. Like making up muffin stories. God help us!

Allie

[Quiescent]

Wed. Oct. 11th

I have to say.....thank you for being honest. It is exactly what I was trying to say, without really saying it! Now, had I had a buzz......I would have come right out and said it!:H