Thursday October 12th

[Quiescent]

Good Morning Moderating Muffins,

It's a very crisp morning here in Indiana.

I had a moderating setback last night. I think I know why and what the trigger was. I am going to space my topamax differently today and see if that helps.


I hope you all have a wonderful day!

[Allie]

Thursday October 12th

Hi everyone!

Sorry you had a tough evening Imagine, but that's great that you know what caused it. I think that's a big thing we all are having to continue to learn. Exactly WHAT causes a setback and then begin to customize the program around those triggers.

We had four business associates of my husband's over for dinner last night, so I spent from about 3 p.m. on in the kitchen preparing a big dinner. It was a lot of fun, and I love to entertain and cook, so it was a good distraction for me. I did have two glasses of wine the entire evening, but was scrambling to get everything done before they arrived that I did not have that glass that I love to have WHILE cooking. Then had two glasses at the table while we ate, but so did everyone else. I made sure I was not the first to finish my glass each time and I even left the last two sips or so in the glass so as not to be holding my wine glass straight up in the air with my neck outstretched....:H

I am fighing a sore throat and this "thing" that is trying to get me sick, so I am taking my Zicam, lots of Vit C and Echinacea in addition to my supps today, and am going to try to drink tons of water and juice (non-fermented) and get this thing beat in one day. Dont have time to be sick! So I am staying in my robe today and catching up on paperwork, filing, and just might watch a little T.V! So I'll be floating in and out here today. Hope you all have a super day!

Allie

[Allie]

Thursday October 12th

Oh --- and for anyone who was wondering about Becca's question to me on yesterday's thread about if that was why I had to get new furniture (diving off and the peeing incident), I felt the need to explain! Uhhemm.

Becca knows the story because we joined on here about the same time eight months ago, and have shared lots of stories together. I know I even posted this story once --- way, way back in the beginning on a thread about stupid things we've done while drinking. But anyway, for those of you wondering what peeing incident could possible relate to furniture, the story is this. About a year-and-a-half ago back when I was drinking to the point of blacking out most nights, there was a particular night where I obviously needed to get up and go tinkle in the middle of the night. My husband just happened to be awake around 3 a.m. to witness this lovely event, but for some reason I didnt walk to the bathroom, but rather got out of bed, pulled open the top drawer of my nightstand and sit in it and pee. Then I pushed the drawer close, and crawled back in bed and went back to sleep as if this was the normal thing to do. My husband looked on in horror. :wow:

So meanwhile, the next morning he proceeds to tell me what I did. I said, "I did NOT!" He said, "Well then pull out the drawer and see for yourself!" OMG! I keep a lot of paperwork and receipts, books I am reading, etc in there and they were all damp and crinkled. So I picked up a piece of paper and smelled it to be sure of the liquid that had been absorbed there...:H

[gypsi]

Thursday October 12th

imagine, I'm sorry that you had a setback last night, but I'm glad that you know what the trigger is. I think maybe that's half the battle right there; knowing what sets us off wanting to drink. Once you know, then you can work on re-setting the trigger. Hopefully, the topa will help you.

OMG, Allie, you had me rolling on the floor with that one!! :H
I've done some really stupid things while drunk to the point of pass out, but the one that stands out in my mind was the night that I drank an entire bottle of white tequila at the bar during my 23rd birthday party, got completely undressed (except the heels) and proceeded to walk the length of the bar without a stitch on! Naturally, I was thrown out of the bar, so I left and walked home - it was Bangor, Maine, snowing and pretty durn cold. Oh, and I still had nothin' on but my heels as I made the 1 mile trek home down the middle of Main Street.

Oh yeah, we do some really, really silly things when we're drunk, don't we?

[lushy]

Thursday October 12th

Allie, I am dying over here. I have a very similar story while in Italy on our honeymoon. We were staying in a room that had no bathroom; it was down the hall. The room had linoleum flooring. I got up in the middle of the night, went to the corner of the room, squatted and peed. The noise of lots of pee hitting the floor woke up my husband and he asked me, "what are you doing?". Of course I do not remember any of this but I guess I very confidently said, "what does it look like I am doing, I'm peeing." Talk about a huge mess that needed to be cleaned up but since I was in the middle of a blackout I crawled back into bed while my dear sweet hubby cleaned it all up. I cannot believe he did not ask for a divorce after that. I am impressed you could actually fit in a drawer to pee, and did not tip the dresser over. Gypsi, any pictures from your naked night in the snow can be posted here.

I gotta say that going out last night with my ex was such a good thing for me. My husband is really good about telling me all of the time how nice I look, etc., but for some dumb reason it meant so much more to hear it from someone who I had not seen in so long. I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and thought, "wow, my complexion IS dewy (when I am not hungover that is)!" That was the motivation I needed to really start taking care of myself. So many times I look in the mirror and feel ugly or fat or out of shape and I get so discouraged that I drink to block out how bad I feel. Again, I do not want this to sound shallow because I know it is not important what we look like but I think it is also important to preserve what we have be it health, nice skin or hair, etc., and alcohol does nothing for any of that. I have been far too isolated for far too long and letting my pea brain say nothing but negative things to myself. No more!!!! Do any of you relate to this? And BTW, sadly my ex looked nothing like your picture Rachele. He is HOT, HOT, HOT and I am glad he lives far, far away from me. We had both forgotten how attracted we were to each other and I can see how affairs happen!

I only had 3 glasses of wine last night but was so nervous I had nothing to eat at all so I am hurting this morning. Ridiculous. I am sorry you had a bad night Rachele. Jen, where is our topic for the day. And no fair posting a thought provoking post so late in the day when my brain was fried. Good day to all of you lovely muffs!!!

[InnerStrength]

Thursday October 12th

today's topic.

OK you guys
Allie - bless her soul - has started the topic for today.
And this one is going to help us REMEMBER WHY WE WANT TO MODERATE or not drink, whatever our goals are.
IF you want to participate, I suggest that we can choose to tell everyone a story of something funny or embarassing that we did when really drunk OR we can generally discuss why we think moderation is a good idea generally....(this kind of discussion reminds us why this hard work - damn this is WORK eh guys!!? - is still worth the effort...)
OR you can not participate and just think about it, k guys...or not and just listen....but thats my topic for the day....Thanks Allie-kins...

So here is mine (and you guys are my family now and you are gonna hear about it):

1) I got tired of hangovers 3,4 ++ times a week, tired of wondering if I smelled like booze to co-workers, friends, strangers, people in stores, well, you get the picture.
2) I got tired of waking up the next day, thinking "sh*t I really should not have driven home last night like that"
3) I got tired of being the complete asshole of the party - all the time - embarassing my husband etc.
4) I went to a bridal shower in March of this year. My best friend put it together for a mutal friend of ours. It started at 3pm. By 9pm she had to call a mutual male friend of ours to come and get me because I had thrown up all over the washroom and couldnt walk straight. I was no fun.
5) I have blacked out and made an ass of myself, but thought I was the life of the party until someone told me things I did, too many times to count.
6) I was unfaithful to boyfriends in the past because of drinking.
7) I lied to my family because of drinking.
8)OK so there are some funny stories too. One time, a bunch of us decided to play strip poker. At one point, everyone went into the kitchen to get drinks (we had already been drinking), and when they came out, I was stark naked at the table. The game had not begun yet. My boyfriend at the time left shortly afterward.(I might have told this one already).

SO there it is. (This is JUST a beginning). This stuff motivates me to continue on my journey....so how about you guys...
Love ya
Jen

[gypsi]

Thursday October 12th

Thankfully, Lush, there are no pictures, except what the mind can conjure -
Believe me, that's scary enough!!

[InnerStrength]

Thursday October 12th

Oh Luschy
You were posting when I was! Love you!
Jen

[lushy]

Thursday October 12th

Jen, you have told that story before and it makes me howl with laughter. I can just picture you sitting there looking all innocent naked wondering what the problem was........

[Preciouspinot]

Thursday October 12th

Ok , I've posted these things before, but, I shall repeat for the comedic value

Kissed a girl...got lost at Mardi Gras....fell out of a tree and broke my leg.....pucked & peed where I

shouldn't have...slept with guys I shouldn't have....made phone calls when I shouldn't have...driven when I

shouldn't have.......put lipstick on a guy and then kissed him?!?! and the list goes on, But that is in the

past ...What was once truly horrific to think about I can now remember and laugh about alot of it .....that is

what time and recovery does...IT HEALS

[lushy]

Thursday October 12th

ummmm, put lipstick on a man and kissed him? What was the rationale behind that hysterical move? Damn, that is funny stuff......

[Preciouspinot]

Thursday October 12th

I thought the lipstick felt really good and sexy and that I felt the need to share this experience with him...he actually didn't mind...he wasn't exactly sober at the time...thing is we were in a frat house at the time and his brothers didn't find it cool!?

[Quiescent]

Thursday October 12th

Came out of the bar drunk in the winter, there was a sheet of ice in the parking lot. I decided to run....................and sliiiiiiiiide!!!!!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee What fun right.:no:

Knocked the wind out of myself after I fell. uch: I couldn't move for 10 minutes. I cracked my tailbone and it was painful for at least 6 months!

[InnerStrength]

Thursday October 12th

Oooh ooooooh decided to run home one night in the dead of winter - it was a massive snow storm and cabs werent even running - i thought it was beautiful and surreal - there were huge mountains of snow and ice - i was "running" in slow motion through snow, no jacket, had lost one of my shoes, pissed out my mind, beer bottle in one hand, falling on my face every once in a while....just picture it - HUGE mounds of snow - you know the kind where its hard/icy on top but when when you step on it your foot goes through and you fall alll the way through? Like that - so I am runnnning through - and picturing that really cool, mystical musical in my head (you know what I mean - like a beautiful winter night?) - meanwhile I am pissed drunk, flopping all over the place, slipping and sliding in the dead of night in the cold.....REAL classy Jen.......

[Mary Anne]

Thursday October 12th

Thanks!!!

You guys are all cracking me up!!!:thanks: I need these laughs at this time, am crazy busy at work for a change, but had a chance to read today's posts and can't thank you all enough for the rolling over laughter you have given me!!:H :H

Hubby is doing better, I am finally back at work getting my sanity back(was a few days I doubted it there, but it is back!!)

I want to check in later, just depends on the doc behind me and how nosey he is!?! Do have a full patient load today too, will check in tonight if I get a chance, mother in law is coming in to help for a week and we are going out to eat..........

love you all!!!!!!

Mary Anne