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    #31
    Friday, Oct 20th

    Dilayne, good question. I am like you in that I would never dream of putting trans fats in my or my family's bodies, I try to eat organic whenever I can, white bread does not exist in our house except 1-2 times a year, everything is whole grain, etc., I am diligent about the All One, etc. But then it is okay for me to oversaturate my liver??? Makes no sense. However, since learning and concentrating on moderating I am feeling okay with it, except for the calorie consumption of course. I feel that if all of the other areas of my diet and lifestyle are healthy then a glass or three is not that bad. However, sometimes I also let that same mindset allow me to overindulge and then I am back to square one. it is a fine line, that is for sure. And your husband sounds like mine; "What is the big deal with drinking? Just don't have one." If I cannot keep myself from overindulging, even if it is a few times a year, then I will have to re-evaluate. Hopefully it will not come to that. And I for one loved your question.......
    I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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      #32
      Friday, Oct 20th

      OK, what is the big deal about drinking?
      I guess a lot of it is the "aahhh" you get with the first drink - you know, that warm, comfy feeling you get, and the relief from anxiety that alcohol brings, the ability to be more comfortable in social situations (until I make an ass of myself - if I do - in which case I feel completely uncomfortable about that social situation for months afterward), the feeling that I can handle any problem, the relief from boredom (though thats not always true at all).

      But, if I look at it another way: DO I really get all of these things? (Dilayne - I hope you dont mind - i am going to propose adding a second dimension to your question. So it could be -> 1) Whats the big deal about drinking (so we could talk about what the big deal is) and then once we talk about that - you know, the things we think we get from drinking that make it a "big deal" we can then talk about 2) whether they really ARE a big deal -or if we are really getting what we think we get from drinking...

      I think this may have been discussed to an extent before on the abs board but I thought it was really helpful.
      So using my own little list:
      1) That warm ahhh feeling - yup, it is definitely a nice feeling - is it really THAT great though? I guess looking at it objectively - i can look at it another way. Is that warm "aaah" feeling worth my health, my sanity, my self-respect, my pride, etc. How long does that feeling really last?
      2) The relief from anxiety - we have talked about this many times before - yes this is really nice - but I need to find other ways to deal with my anxiety. Plus, we have already discussed how drinking really causes the anxiety in the first place.
      3) Ability to be more comfortable in social situations - a definite plus as long as I can moderate and dont go overboard. Was never a guarantee before.. I cant tell you guys how many times I woke up just thinking "oh God"....
      4) The feeling that I can handle any problem - kind of related to the anti-anxiety thing - drinking gives me this temporary feeling that no problem is really that bad.....but then again, a lot of my problems have come from or are related to drinking....so hmmm....
      5) Relief from boredom - since we have already talked about this so much, I wont get into it again now.

      So there are my thoughts...
      Love all
      Jen
      Over 4 months AF :h

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        #33
        Friday, Oct 20th

        Jen, I hear you...the big question to consider once one identifies what the big deal is..Is it worth the cost? Or what is the cost?

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          #34
          Friday, Oct 20th

          Bingo, Dilayne. You nailed exactly what I was thinking.
          Over 4 months AF :h

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            #35
            Friday, Oct 20th

            funny, I used to tell people during the 15 or so years that I was abstinent that I needed every drink I ever had...I don't know if I could say that this time around..but there is a part of me that still thinks that at times it was worth the cost..that I just wasn't ready to feel some of the things that I needed to feel and getting to this point was necessary for me to 'surrender'...I don't know...like I said before..It's such a spiritual thing to me..much more than a physical thing. I've never woke up craving alcohol..when I decide to abstain..no problem! Not that it wouldn't turn into a physical addiction..especially if I kept up the rate I was going for the last few weeks..it certainly would. My problem as been abuse..when I want to abuse alcohol, I want to abuse food too..I really don't care what the substance is...anyway, just felt the need to qualify my perspective..I don't think everyone related their alcohol abuse to their feelings, and I don't want to assume that they do...

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              #36
              Friday, Oct 20th

              talking about food...I think my muffin is getting too small..better go find somethine ELSE to eat. I've been eating everything in site...see..I told you! I'm really hoping the Topamax will help me get a grip on this too..I've just been out of control in every direction lately! Geez!

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                #37
                Friday, Oct 20th

                Mike, are you ok?

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                  #38
                  Friday, Oct 20th

                  Arrgh I am trying to post in Once upon a time.....
                  Over 4 months AF :h

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                    #39
                    Friday, Oct 20th

                    Jen, are you going to keep letting people think you are a man who likes to dress up as a woman? I do not think hubby would find it too funny, although I am LMAO.

                    Fan, you seem so quiet these last couple of days. We are missing your wittiness. (sp?). Hope all is well. And Di, I had forgotten you went without alcohol for 15 years. Do you think that makes this journey easier or harder?
                    I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

                    Comment

                      #40
                      Friday, Oct 20th

                      Guys I cant post to Once upon a time !!
                      can someone else do a test to see if they can post there?
                      Over 4 months AF :h

                      Comment

                        #41
                        Friday, Oct 20th

                        Jen, LOL. You sound as if your ship is sinking......Looks like Fan had no problem so get over there and whip out your creativity.....
                        I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

                        Comment

                          #42
                          Friday, Oct 20th

                          Di me too

                          Dilayne, I have the drink/food thing too.......hate it, is it an artist thing or what?? Maybe just an addictive personality thing.....Wanted to add that Jen and Dilayne....everyone! Great message/question, hit home w/ me, I drink for all those same reasons and it causes all those same problems w/ me.

                          Jerrybear, Judie is right too, drink ALOT of water and juices!! and you will probably sweat like crazy in between frezing your butt off, that is how I felt when detoxifying, it was a horrible feeling, but as everyone's saying, and you probably know it is DANGEROUS to go cold turkey, that is where you get ino convulsive territory and stuff, you don't want to go there!

                          Take care honey,

                          Hugs to all!

                          Mary Anne

                          Comment

                            #43
                            Friday, Oct 20th

                            Maybe someone can copy and paste my addition to the Once upon a time in there for me (once upon a time) cause everytime i try to type in there and I hit "submit" it comes up "this page cannot be displayed".
                            I also say we have a contest - everyone has to come up with the best outfit....creativity counts and keep it clean
                            Mine is coming shortly
                            Over 4 months AF :h

                            Comment

                              #44
                              Friday, Oct 20th

                              Hi Lush..I was answering your question and lost my post...hmmm.
                              When I quit..I think it was in 1986, I had 3 young kids. I was recently divorced and working a very stressful creative job...I started drinking to cope (my ex-husband drank and my father drank so I was hyper sensitive to the idea of having a problem)...when I woke up with a strange man in my bed..one too many times, it scared me...I took myself to an AA meeting and quit. I'd tried on my own a few times, but wasn't good at it. I did get a good intro to spirituality with AA but I couldn't make a lifestyle out of it..and I had a hard time standing up making a statement about who I was..before I'd ever come to know who I was...anyway...I quit for my kids...PERIOD..I raised them from then on alcohol and drug free..when they group up..It was time for me to get to know myself..I guess to go back to that point and pick it up and learn it on the level that I need to. So now, it's easier because I know so much more, I know I can do it, I have my faith..it's just a matter of getting in there and learning whatever it has to teach me...it's here for a reason, and I guess I didn't get it the first time...the flip side of it is that in some ways..like they even say in AA, it has been a blessing..I've tried not to judge the part of me that has turned to A, I've tried to observe myself and be honest with myself all along..I write in a journal every day and I've talked to a few people about it all along..I've not engaged in the obvious 'isms'...the denials..maybe some covert denial, but I've known all along that I've been playing a game of Russian Rullet (sp)...does that answer your question? Probably far more than you wanted to know. :0)

                              OK, I know you thought I was supposed to be working on a deadline..I actually did it..turned it in and am waiting for final approval..then, it's almost quitting time!!!

                              AF tonight for sure! I bought magazines to read in bed...first time I've done that in ages..I've been reading such deep stuff..all year actually..I decided I needed some fluff! AND, I'm cleaning house this weekend..I feel like I'm up to my eyeballs with clutter..I don't know when it happened...it just did and it's making me crazy.

                              Jerrybear - how are you doing?

                              Comment

                                #45
                                Friday, Oct 20th

                                Hey Jen, did you reboot your computer and refresh your browser?

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