Saturday

[Waves 2]

Mike posted this on abs this morning.

I not only hid my drinking and related activities, but I hid my feelings. I hid how I felt about drinking; I hid my depression and anxiety; I hid my fear. I hid FROM my feelings. I hid from life. My drinking life was as much about hiding as it was about drinking, it seems. I was avoiding anything and everything that I could. The problem was that the alcohol inevitably wore off ? and when it did, whatever I was hiding from was still there, and 10 times bigger.

I feel like I am still there. Ive really slipped back as anyone who looks at my tracker will see. The only consolation is that I have not drunk to ?? level. I havent done a run/walk for two weeks. I need a kick to get me back on track. I totally understood Jerry bears cries the other day. When you are feeling desperate and that you are getting nowhere fast it is difficult to read all the fun and hilarious posts without wanting to either scream or back off completely. I backed off because I know that usually I join in any fun and games and love laughing at all the posts. Usually they cheer me up. This week I have been a MISERABLE S*D !!!!

KICK ME SOMEONE!

Love to all as always.
Waves

[tawnyfrog]

Saturday

Hey Waves,

Consider yourself kicked.

:l:l

[pussycat]

Saturday

Hey Waves..

I really understand how you feel. About the fun and frivolity when you're desperate. It's hard to read when you're scared..
I'm here to kick your butt about your Walk/Run programme!
I am kicking my a-- doing my power walking, I'm going every morning until I can count on sticking to a routine. So, there is no negotiating, I do it evey morning. It really helps my mood and it makes me more tired come evening time when it's time to drink, so I can drink less and go to bed. My neighbour who suffers from depression, comes along for her walk/run, anyway she has been off it for a month and I really notice a worsening of her mood.
Now, put on your running shoes and get out there!
Best,
Pussycat

[Waves 2]

Saturday

ouch!

ouch! What kicks!!! Will reach for my trainers this second.

[dilayne]

Saturday

Morning Waves..and everyone..
I've needed a kick too..I recently rearranged my whole work schedule to allow me to go to yoga class twice a week before work..I was really loving it and then BAM..I fell into a hole and somehow, I managed to miss them. Today is 5 days AF and I'm staying there..indefinitely! I'm taking a long walk this weekend in the glorious fall leaves and eating homemade vegetable soup and salad..I'm committed to taking good care of myself, body, spirti and mind! Thank you for the reminder.

Regarding the jokes and fun...I have to admit that it is hard to stay present when the joking takes over too much...I have to watch myself because I've had a hard time having fun lately..I've been soooo serious about everything, but on the other hand, I don't want to denie the seriousness of what is at hand, especially to those that come here looking for help. I think we all have a responsibility to ourselves and each other to make sure that we keep a healthy balance and remember why we are here.

I've missed a few people that used to post much more regularly lately and wondered if they've just been busy or if the over the top fun may have something to do with their lack of presence...I hope everyone feels free to ask for what they need here..we can do so in a loving way. I think we can all get what we need without sacrificying anything..

Actually I was thinking how great it's been to have the Once Upon a Time thread because it is totally dedicated for fun..there is no questin about that..and it is always under the mods thread...If there is a need to maintain a 'Topic' thread, one that is preserved for A related issues..then we could create one..and then we could still have one, maybe this one with the date that is a free for all...

I don't know..I'm pretty new here so don't feel entitled to just jump in and start changing things, I do however know how these things can just take on a life of their own and sometimes it's good to stop and take an inventory..or to make sure we are staying on 'task'..and not getting off trak..

forgive me for rambling...I just don't want to lose any precious soul that needs to be here...

[dilayne]

Saturday

ouch...of course..I just realized that maybe some people don't like what I bring to the post. Well, if that is the case, I'm happy to temper that is well.
Humbly backing out now...

[Waves 2]

Saturday

Hi Dilayne,
You always bring good ideas and help here. I think a serious only thread as well as the fun of Once upon a Time as well as a completely open topic under the date is a good idea. Jenneh came up with the idea of a daily theme thread like the abs board have. Perhaps that could take off . I am pretty new myself but all ideas are good to discuss in my opinion. You have helped me greatly in the past for which I am grateful. This morning I have had my butt kicked into doing a run. Hope Pussycat is right and it improves my outlook.

One MISERABLE S*D signing off.
Love to all as always
Waves

[trishinnebraska]

Saturday

Thanks Diane!

:l I appreciate your comments - I am one of the ones that posts infrequently now although I do check in several times a day. I certainly don't want to rain on anyone's parade here but sometimes the "banter" back and forth between three or four people can make some of the rest of us feel like "outsiders". Your posts have been so helpful and very thought provoking. I am having some real up and down days - taking the supplements but certainly need to get more will power. I'm drinking much less than I used to but still not as little as I'd like. It's good to be part of this community however. It's cold and gloomy here this morning - rain mixed with snow today - ugh! I will also make a pot of soup this afternoon and bring in some firewood ... and maybe find a good scary movie on the tube tonight - everyone have a great day! Love y'all:l

[dilayne]

Saturday

Thanks Waves..have a great Run!

OK Muffins...I've made a big decision this morning! I've decided to declare Abstinence!!! It feels right and good...especially because I waited to make the decision. Today is the 5th day of AF..there have been times I've made the decision..you know, the next morning with a major hangover..when you are hating yourself. I didn't want to make the decision feeling like that. I'm feeling good, I've been thinking about it...AND...

Imagine...I may even pour out that bottle of wine today! The cheap-O in me is having a hard time with that one!

So, there you have it...I have to thank you all for helping me get here. I feel very relieved..like I'm dropping a heavy load..that there is hope and energy waiting for me to do the things I want to do..my garden is waiting for me, there are canvases to paint, paintings to sell...grandchildren to play with. Thank you!

[dilayne]

Saturday

Hi Trish!! So good to see you back!! Talk to you soon! Running out now to my dream group! Oh my gosh..snow? I wish we would get some here in Georgia..just once a year would make me happy!
Have a good one!
d

[lushy]

Saturday

Oh Dilayne, good for you!!! I hope you will still pop in over here and let us know how you are doing. I need the inspiration. I hope to someday have your mindset. I will miss you over here though. I have missed you Waves and wondered where you were. I am sorry it has been a rough time. I also am sorry if anyone feels left out because we have been having fun here lately. I know I am big poster when we get on a funny streak and I don't want to be scaring people away. My idea is that perhaps from now on this particular thread should maybe me the more "serious" one and anything else can go on a different thread. How does that sound. I just know that trying to deal with this issue in my life brings up so much negativity for me and I look forward to coming here for a laugh or two or three but I also understand the seriousness of it all so it makes sense to keep this thread what it was intended for and create other threads if we want to get nutty.

I hope we hear from some of those we have not heard from in a while. Be well this week Waves. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Have a good weekend everyone!

[Quiescent]

Saturday

Good Saturday Morning!

Waves, Sweetie.......I'm so glad to see you here this morning.

I'm glad the topic has been brought up and since it has been I will just chime in, in agreement.

We should have a place for our fun and banter and a place to support each other and to support new people.

It just so happens, I don't know where that place would be.......any ideas?

Can we go under lauging out loud.......that's what I seem to do with everyone here most of the time and that heading is not used nearly enough?

Have a great Saturday everyone!

I'm having a tasefully simple party tomorrow and I have to work tonight so I won't be around too much more this weekend.

I love you all!:l

[InnerStrength]

Saturday

Good morning all
Dilayne - congratulations sweety on your decision - not an easy one to make but no doubt you will feel great about it. Wonderful!!!
Waves - So good to see you again!! - I am soo sorry you dont feel good right now. Let's take a look at what you have been doing and work together to see what we can do to get to where you want to be. I really feel badly if you have felt alienated.
Trish I am so sorry you too have felt alientated and anyone else who has felt alienated by our banter. For that - sincere apologies. I think what Lusch said rings true with me too - so much seriousness in life and emotions to deal with that sometimes this has been an outlet for laughter, appropriate or not (of course it was never intentional to alienate anyone!!!). Thanks for the reality check that that is not appropriate for all.
SO that being said, why dont we use this forum for discussions on more serious things and the daily topic and use the "once upon a time" for our more silly banter? or yes, use the laughing out loud like dear Rachele suggested?

Hugs to all
Jen

[pussycat]

Saturday

Hey Y'all

I totally agree with the funny versus serious thing..I never know what to do with it cause i'm new here and generally a bit freaked out.
I'm so glad that I'm being perceived as the exercise butt-kicker, I love that! And I love to help people get going! So if anyone wants to start a exercise, goal-check in thing, I'm IN and can offer lots of un-solicited advice (if solicited) Ha, ha
Best,
Pussycat

[Saint Jude]

Saturday

Mornin' Everybody! Well here's my 2 cents worth... I think it's great that there's so many of us here now! I also think humor is a VERY KEY factor in the HEALING proccess, as does RJ. I remember when we first started the ABS & MODS threads back in March(Abs), and May(Mods), we only had a few people here & there posting. Somedays we'd only have 1 or 2! It was downright lonely!!

I don't think realisticaly, we can seperate the humour out from the serious posts on the threads. But I do see how easy it is to take off on a "roll" with something, having fun. Things do take on a life of their own here!:H
I'd hate to "squelsh" someone's creativity, or fun, because, I think we also need to show newcomers that this program can offer that, as well as support.

I'd hate for anyone to feel alienated, either. I guess, I just hope we can all try & make each other feel welcome... I kinda thought we were doing that already! :l Judie