Saturday 28th October 2006

[dilayne]

Saturday 28th October 2006

you know what...sorry about that. I just have to say that this morning I was really wondering where I belong..because about half of the time I don't feel like I belong in mods or Abs..Mods because I've switched to Abs, and sometimes with the Abs..it feels a little like AA, which is not why I'm here...I'm really just struggling to figure out where I do belong because I do have my experience and my beliefs about the issue because I've dealt with (or not) for about 20 years. This is some of my own stuff..and honestly, most of the time everyone is very loving and accepting of one another. It really hurts though when I see the possibility of a unique supportive community at risk of be divided by the issue of moderation or management when we are all dealing with the problem of alcohol.

OK, enuff said..if anyone can suggest an 'appropriate' thread for me, I welcome it...I was thinking about the What we Believe thread...do you think that would be a place for someone in the middle?
thanks everyone..sorry for the whine!

[dilayne]

Saturday 28th October 2006

...sorry, a little upset here...I meant to say a unique supportive community at risk of being divided by the issue of moderation and abstinence..

[lushy]

Saturday 28th October 2006

Dilayne, you are always welcome here in my book. I agree with how different the two lands seem to be, which is not a bad thing. I know for me mods has to include some AF days because I am not good at having just one drink, so if I can get a few days under my belt I do not beat myself up if I have 3-5 on a weekend night. But for others here it sounds like a lot of you can drink every night but only have 1-2. That would be ideal but not part of my chemistry I guess. I don't think this issue needs to divide us, does it? It is a real individual journey. Please no hard feelings anyone.

[fsophiah]

Saturday 28th October 2006

Ya know, I obviously ruffled feathers by saying that I thought 30 days was a good idea. Maybe I should have added..for me. FOR ME, especially when I was fully committed to the program, it was important to face all kinds of situations in which I had expectations of drinking and to experience them without drinking...like having a steak without red wine. I didn't--and don't--want to live my life that way forever, but FOR ME, my head had to convince my body that wine was not an automatic expectation. And it was not easy, and I did bitch and moan and think my life was over. But FOR ME it provided a really valuable lesson. During the time I was on abs, I visited that thread. Now I'm on mods, and I'm here. Don't know where the hostility came from. We were talking about closeness with our online friends.

[lushy]

Saturday 28th October 2006

I am assuming, however, Fan that you agree with everything I say, correct? Just wanted to clarify.

[lushy]

Saturday 28th October 2006

Ugh Sophiah, steak without wine? Food and wine together are such killers for me and I LOVE to cook. Just need to work on the amount of wine I guess......

[Guest]

Saturday 28th October 2006

yes, Dilayne,
post wherever you feel comfortable. I love having you here, but I read your posts on abs too. I read all the schtuff! (time permitting!).
about the 30day thing. ..I believe that is a Moderation Management required tool. They have a lot or required things. Yes, it would be helpful for many people I'm sure. I did 11 days abs at the beginning, and that was good for me. I try to do 2 AF days per wk now. Just don't want to be "drinking every single day" and I lilke writing my 0's on my diary. But that's me. See, I write my 0's, but then there are days I have to record 8's. That's not good either. My mom drinks "every single day", but it's more like 1 or 2 or 3 and never more. So what's more of a problem?
It's all so individual, and you have to do what you are happy with, and have some sense about what is healthy for yourself.
Laura, you're not being b*tchy and I don't think you cause problems! Just an opinion, darlin. You're allowed to have one of those. I say so. hee hee .

I have a cold. sniffle sniffle. Feeling a little more motivated to plan MY mods deal for Nov. though. Lush, you nudged me on a bit last night. Thanks!

Changed my avatar! what do ya think? That's me out in front (looks like I'm winning, huh?:H ) Saw a newbie had chosen mine, so I decided to hand it over gracefully! It was time for a change anyhow, since I chose that caped little dude back when I was hoping hoping hoping that I could accomplish something pretty big. :happy: mission accomplished, and on to the next!

Have a great night everyone. Soccer game tonight, and hubby finally coming home.

[mary8305]

Saturday 28th October 2006

Hi everyone, just checking in been very busy been trying to read and catch up with the posts.I appreciate everyone posts and take a lot of wisdom from all but it is an indivisual program with some guidelines and some trial and errors we can learn from each other and shape our own way out.Some poeple do well with a set of rules and absolutes,I am not one of those people so I like to take what I need and leave the rest and I was AF for eight years and the drank like a fish for five so tospeak did not do 30 days and have been able to moderate 1-2 drinks,I may find I need or want to abstain at some point but not now, I am happy with my progress right now.One thing that bothered me in AA was that peoplewho were sober a long time felt like they had all the answers,and I think it's fine to give people suggestions, we all need to tweak it to what works best for us.But the support we can get from each other is really a wonderful thing, really unconditional support,love you all, Mary