Well, staying sober on a moderate level of drinking is starting to work for me, though I have to admit it is VERY HARD!!! I also am still not where I want to be. I want to get to a level where I share a bottle of wine at night over dinner with my husband, have one glass of wine on those occasions where I go out for a social lunch, limit myself to an absolute two at business cocktails, and do the same behavior on the weekend as I do during the week. Well, this weekend, each day I had three wines spaced out throughout the day (as opposed to the two mega bottles I usuall have each day all day long). So, while it is isn't my goal yet, I'm making progress. BUT, its Monday morning and I am sober! Not dealing with the usual hangover that I normally have coming off the weekend. Now for the first time in years, I am remembering the old Karen Carpenter song, "Rainy days and Mondays always get me down". And boy am I down, not so much by depression, just overwhelmed.
According to national statistics, more people commit suicide on Mondays than any other day of the year. Most people actually hate their jobs, live for the weekend, and the thought of going back to work on Monday is a weekly depressing trauma (I can't remember which medical journal I read this from as it was years ago -- but it always stuck in my mind).
For me, Monday is a challenge because of stress. I love my job, thrive on it, but it is high pressure. I have to fit 18 hours of work in a 12 hour day. So, it is really high stress. Additionally, my son is a senior in high school. He has attended an all boys school since first grade, among the top grades and ranking in his school, and he is bucking for the big boy colleges. He and I are best friends, so he relies on me to help him. He turns to me for advice and assistance on everything, which is a tremendous honor, as he is a wonderful person. It seems like every week there are major tests for which he must prepare (and I must schedule for him, transport him, etc), applications to write (which I help review and edit along with his college counselor), etc., etc. Plus, this week is particularly stressful because I always bake 1,000 cookies for the upper class for Halloween. And my son always dresses up in these elaborate costumes (which I make). This year he is going to be a scientist from a computer game called "Half Life" that turns into a monster because of a "head crab". So, I have to finish sewing the costume. I have a policy and procedure manual due tomorrow, which I haven't started (and I write these types of manuals sooo much better when I'm drunk -- I think it slows my brain down -- don't get me wrong, I can write them fine without drinking, it just takes a lot longer). My husband is semi-retired (he is 13 years older than me) and has asked me to help him with his retirement papers - due today. My father is ill and the only pleasure he gets is watching TV, talking to me and emailing me back and forth. And my mother suffers from depression and gets really bad if I don't get out with her at least two to three times a week. EEK!!!! MONDAY!!!!!
This is probably going to be one of the worse weeks I've had in a while. I'm sure it is not any worse than anyone else's week. But for me, it is going to be real!!!! challenging to stay on track with my drinking goals. So, I hope all of you will forgive me if I drive you nuts pleading for help and support throughout the week. I'm going to try to stay on track with sharing one bottle of wine with my husband over dinner. I'm going to allow myself two glasses of wine on my lunch outings this week (so far two days this week -- my ultimate goal is one glass at lunch outings). But quite frankly, I don't know if I can do it. It has been so hard to stick to this goal and the only thing that helped was that I could go off and exercise. But I won't have that option this week. So that's my Monday, sober, not depressed, but overwhelmed, and wondering if it wouldn't be better to be hungover!!! (Just kidding).
So, how is your Monday shaping up? Your week? Anyone setting any goals?
Love to hear from you,
MM
According to national statistics, more people commit suicide on Mondays than any other day of the year. Most people actually hate their jobs, live for the weekend, and the thought of going back to work on Monday is a weekly depressing trauma (I can't remember which medical journal I read this from as it was years ago -- but it always stuck in my mind).
For me, Monday is a challenge because of stress. I love my job, thrive on it, but it is high pressure. I have to fit 18 hours of work in a 12 hour day. So, it is really high stress. Additionally, my son is a senior in high school. He has attended an all boys school since first grade, among the top grades and ranking in his school, and he is bucking for the big boy colleges. He and I are best friends, so he relies on me to help him. He turns to me for advice and assistance on everything, which is a tremendous honor, as he is a wonderful person. It seems like every week there are major tests for which he must prepare (and I must schedule for him, transport him, etc), applications to write (which I help review and edit along with his college counselor), etc., etc. Plus, this week is particularly stressful because I always bake 1,000 cookies for the upper class for Halloween. And my son always dresses up in these elaborate costumes (which I make). This year he is going to be a scientist from a computer game called "Half Life" that turns into a monster because of a "head crab". So, I have to finish sewing the costume. I have a policy and procedure manual due tomorrow, which I haven't started (and I write these types of manuals sooo much better when I'm drunk -- I think it slows my brain down -- don't get me wrong, I can write them fine without drinking, it just takes a lot longer). My husband is semi-retired (he is 13 years older than me) and has asked me to help him with his retirement papers - due today. My father is ill and the only pleasure he gets is watching TV, talking to me and emailing me back and forth. And my mother suffers from depression and gets really bad if I don't get out with her at least two to three times a week. EEK!!!! MONDAY!!!!!
This is probably going to be one of the worse weeks I've had in a while. I'm sure it is not any worse than anyone else's week. But for me, it is going to be real!!!! challenging to stay on track with my drinking goals. So, I hope all of you will forgive me if I drive you nuts pleading for help and support throughout the week. I'm going to try to stay on track with sharing one bottle of wine with my husband over dinner. I'm going to allow myself two glasses of wine on my lunch outings this week (so far two days this week -- my ultimate goal is one glass at lunch outings). But quite frankly, I don't know if I can do it. It has been so hard to stick to this goal and the only thing that helped was that I could go off and exercise. But I won't have that option this week. So that's my Monday, sober, not depressed, but overwhelmed, and wondering if it wouldn't be better to be hungover!!! (Just kidding).
So, how is your Monday shaping up? Your week? Anyone setting any goals?
Love to hear from you,
MM
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