Respecfully, I request that only those moderating (whatever that is for you) or with goals of moderating contribute to this thread. I?d like this to be a thread where we openly share our successes and struggles on our journey to discover what will be acceptable for us as individuals without af advice immediately being thrown in our path.
I do not discount the opinions and advice of long term af?rs or those with completely af goals. I have much respect for their personal decisions and opinions and value them for their collective experiences and knowledge. I realize some of you may not agree with or be comfortable with this approach but feel I need a place to feel completely comfortable with and not feel that I am snubbing af?rs opinions or that I am triggering anyone.
A bit about my drinking history: I considered myself a ?normal? social drinker for most of my life. I did not drink alone and occasionally got drunk with friends. More so in my late teens and 20?s til having my first child. Mostly my thing was to spend time in nature either cottaging or camping. I was not much of a bar person. Loved to get the hell out of the city which is why I struggle to still live in the country. I continued to drink socially after children. I distinctly remember telling my husband (now wasband) when my oldest was about 3 that I wanted HIM to slow down.
Fast forward to marriage breakdown and being the targeted parent in parental alienation manipulated by my ex for the last 10 years. I?ve posted this site before for those who would like more insight Parents ? Parental Alienation Disorder. I experienced and continue to experience the severe level categorizing it as ?syndrome? not disorder. I post this for your information and context only.
10 years ago I discovered and must say fell in love with Pinot Noir wines. I would consume a 750ml bottle over an evening with a meal several times a week and had no problem with this. I am very healthy and continue to be so. As the alienation continued so did my al consumption. In the last three years I gradually started binge drinking as I realized my situation may never be reconciled. This would mean drinking up to 3 bottles not every night but with increasing frequency.
I found MWO last October. I became a member and made my first post in April 2010. I have had a few af stretches (29dys, 23dys and currently 21dys) (all in all 20 al dys in 134dys). My goal is a clear head to accept my circumstances, break my habit and come to a happier place where I can enjoy my precious Pinot without guilt once again.
I read a statement from Gyco which really resonated with me. He said it is easier to have a couple/few drinks than to have none at all. That is my goal. I have had some wonderful times sharing food and wine with friends and so want to be able to do just that again without the isolating binges that I had come to practice.
So I hope that I haven?t offended anyone and that those who resonate with my post will join in and openly share their journey to moderation ? whatever that is for them without fear of guilt or shame for where they are currently.
I am currently researching and considering taking Kudzu to aid in my reduction intake when I decide to drink. Something I found to be very interesting in my reading was that Kudzu is a coolant and al is a heater, which really makes me link it to being a thermogenic and it's ability to help with my weight. I've always been a healthy eater and maintained a healthy (attractive) weight. Since reducing my al consumption I have gained 5-10 lbs without changing my diet! Hmmmm
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