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[Ringing Cedars]

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How goes the decision making process KG? I've always been a country girl at heart. I remember in my twenties an acquaintance telling me she'd seen me around (parties with musicians) and saying she could always tell I never really fit that party crowd. I spent the entire summer with my grandmother on her farm in SK when I was 14 with cattle, turkeys, huge gardens and parcel lots of grain. It was probably one of the best holidays of my life. I worked in the bush,gardened and canned. No running water indoors--had to pump from the well for everything. Laundry was done in an old ringer washer and water brought in for cleaning everything else! There was drainage. Wouldn't want to do that now. It was a lifestyle that everyone should be exposed to though, I think anyways. My grandmother was a successful farmer back then and know as a medicine woman. I read that you felt you should have been a naturopath. It's not too late if it still speaks to you. Especially if it's a passion and not a need......

[KundaliniGirl]

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RC, you have asked a profound question. I'm still trying to get my arms around what I want to do. I'm torn, really. I'm trying to figure out how much of this I'm doing for my husband because he's had cancer, and how much I really want a change. Honestly, I think I'd rather stay here but I feel conflicted about it. My husband likes stimulation. I'm a hermit at heart who has a social animal side too (hence the confliction). Thanks for asking. It's really nice to have someone to talk to about it. Promise to keep you posted, though, if you're interested.

My mom and stepdad retired to a pretty little place in the country when they were about 55. I guess that's where I learned to love the peace and serenity of it. Your exposure sounds fascinating!!

Well, the naturopath thing is something I would have liked years ago - don't have the drive to go back to school. I did that for many years (have a BA and a Masters) but don't think I want to work that hard anymore.

xx,
KG

[Ringing Cedars]

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I am interested KG. I'm sure you will find the balance you need. And-I've always said it's never too late to change the road your on. Nothing is written in stone, right? I have dreams of being a snow bird-warmer climes for winter and summer in my little piece of heaven.

I've regretted my lack of formal education KG--still entertain thoughts of taking more health related courses. Part of my biz plan going forward. I need to ease up somehow on hours on business to do that though.

Life is a ride!

[KundaliniGirl]

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RC,

Sorry, I didn't see this post until now. Interestingly, I have my CP set to automatically subscribe me to any thread I post on, but it doesn't always do it.

Anyway, we're leaning towards staying here and not moving. I just don't think I have it in me to do another big life-changing event. You have the perfect solution. I would be happy buying a 2nd place, and then going between the two some day, specifically to get the better weather in each.

So, we're leaning toward taking the house off the market. My husband will just do more "fun" things to entertain himself here for now. I just can't seem to pull the trigger. Part of the reason is that we get so much more home for the money here. My house is really wonderful, and the tradeoff in SF would definitely be a loss in that arena.

Not 100% decided yet, but getting there.

xx,
KG

[Ringing Cedars]

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Hey KG, that sounds like a great solution to me too. Besides the housing market is not recovering that well, from what I see anyways, although mortgage rates are predicted to climb. Honestly I don't follow it much though.

I should try and set my CP that way--I didn't know you could. xo

[rebirth]

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Hi folks,
I would like to join this thread as I classify myself as a moderator. Anyone around?x

[kelli]

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Hi Rebirth, I saw you posted on my post this morning. Tell me how you are doing moderating and how long it's been. What do you consider moderating?

[rebirth]

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Hi kelli,
Moderation to me means only drinking on the weekends and limiting myself to a certain amount on each occassion. I drink slowly ( one drink per hour) and I listen to my body. If I feel I am starting to become typsy, I stop drinking. I dont ever drink to get drunk.

I have been moderating successfully for two months now and so far so good. Even when my life has become challenging I still stick to my guns. But I will say kelli that it was only after I abstained for five months that I am able to moderate. Those months of being AL free broke alot of bad habits and it made me change my way of thinking. I lost the compulsion to binge drink, to get drunk, to put alcohol first.

Nearly a year ago, I use to drink a bottle a day, more at weekends and first thing sunday morning.I could not imagine not drinking. I dont know why I can mod and others cant. But it shows that some people can change their drinking pattern by changing their thinking towards it.

Pm me if you ever want to chat. x

[rebirth]

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I think you can only moderate if you lose that compulsion to binge drink. Otherwise there is no way of controlling your drinking

[magdalana]

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Hi Everyone,
This month I really want to work hard on moderation, have already found inspiration here!!
Magdalana

[Ringing Cedars]

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Hi Rebirth and Magdalana~I think that is a great point Rebirth--losing the compulsion to binge or perhaps controlling it. I didn't come here because of a compulsion, my trip was the desire to obliterate my feelings/life for a time. It very well could have lead to a compulsion if I continued down that path allowing myself the freedom to choose that trip more and more. But thank God, I haven't and don't intend to. I would love to hear from CG again. I hope you're doing ok Girl! Magda(I love your name)hope things are going well for you too in province east of me.

[Eve11]

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Hi again everyone,
RC, this has been a most interesting thread. When I started modding years ago, I couldn't figure out why people didn't post on this site as newbies aren't long term moderators. I can't remember the explanation, but they had one, and everyone ended up posting on long term for continuity. Anyway, I had replied here once and the most recent reply from Rebirth contacted my blackberry of a new post so it brought me back here again and I had more time to read what everyone said.

First, So sorry about the PAS situation. So sad that parents will use children like pawns in a Chess game where they end up suffering the most. Are your children adults now? Have you regained a relationship?

The video clip from Utube about neural pathways was excellent and explains well how addiction occurs. So, if we repeat behaviors and create a neural pathway, (nerve cells that fire together, wire together)
hopefully we can learn to rewire and reintegrate that neuro net. In our cases, that would be one of being able to moderate and not go for the next drink that is one too many.

Rebirth is right when she says succcessful moderation is being able to lose compulsion to binge drink, but I am still trying to figure that one out because sometimes I have no problem quitting at two (my goal is no more than two in an evening) and other times I have such an extreme compulsion to drink more that is has been unstoppable at times. Those are the times I have gone over my limit and then beat myself up the next day for not being able to moderate effectively. I know there are so many variables (being hungry, tired, angry, etc.) but because my turn off switch (feeling satiated with two) works sometimes, and not other times, I continue to feel frustrated.

I am back on track with really working my program well and hoping that I can get to a point where I really am moderating successfully.

Thanks for sharing everyone and please feel free to post your goals and discuss how things are going in your mod world on the Ruby Tuesday thread in long terms. We designed that thread to be like a weekly support group as online folks can't come together weekly but are hit and miss. So if folks think about once a week on Tuesday to post and share (like a face to face group), I think it helps keep us stronger and more supportive.
:l
Eve11

[noodle]

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hiya

Hiya, great post, and summed up exactly where my head is at the mo.
Theres been some awesome info and inspiration here.
I've jumped over here from Just starting out, and attempted (and failed after 24 days) an AF April. I was sooooo pissed off with myself, and for the last week or so have been drinking daily, but not as much as usual, or anywhere near, for which I'm grateful. I'm intending to lay off until Friday, and will probaly have a drink then. I think at this stage I need to focus on just cutting down when I do drink, and having more AF days inbetween, and see how that goes. If all fails, back to the drawing board and may have to accept that AF is the way its gotta be. I reckon I'm accepting a change has to be made, and I'm onto it! I feel happy with that.
Good luck everyone xx