8 November, Tuesday

[Guest]

8 November, Tuesday

I love this "want" topic vs "craving" vs .... could it be... mmmmmmmmm SAAATAN??? ( good one, Mike!!):H :H So true.
I've had a hard time with saying "I'm craving". Sure I "want" a drink. I don't "need" one. But I'm thinkin about one certain times of the day. Trigger times. Like Rachele said, I take my supps on days I'm staying AF, and make the decision to not drink. So I don't.
I can remember so many times in the past making the conscious effort all day long "I'm not gonna drink tonight, not gonna drink, not gonna drink, not gonna not gonna not gonna.... crap, this day sucks...it's only one day. I'll start tomorrow. Just one. This feels nice. Hubby's not coming home. No one will know. One last time..." 2 bottles later and the next morning and day I'm going through the SAME B.S.
Moderation takes some work. It does. I do understand why people decide to go total abs, because they do not have to deal with the how many drinks, when where question, and the worry of going overboard. I get it. However, I am so tickled to know that I do not have to deal with tormenting myself every damn day with worrying whether or not I can trust myself around my house that has a wine cellar and bar! Some events I attend are still not perfect, and that's why I'm still here, but it's awesome to know you can change things.

So Mike, I hope that helps. And anyone else just starting out and questioning. You DO have to make the decision. Like Mike said, it's kind of a 3 part process: desire/crave/want (whatever), then DECISION to/not to drink, THEN drink or don't!

Make your decision.
Good stuff.

AF today for me. Wine tasting tomorrow, if I decide to go. I'm hosting a jewelry party for a bunch of girlfriends on Thurs. Should be a fun wk! Planning to stick to plan. I'll try very hard to take my own advice above. I suck at that.... well....I'm just not perfect at it yet.
BTW, last wk report:23 drinks total. Teens are my goal for Nov. Setting my lofty goal is helping.

I gotta group hug too everyone. We got the movie "Cars" today and the boys are upset I'm not paying attention!!:happyheart: I shall be sure to personally address more people in the near future! Sorry, all. I do love ya. You better KNOW IT!!

[Quiescent]

8 November, Tuesday

Good Night......Sweet Dreams:l

[dilayne]

8 November, Tuesday

just a note about the topamax...as you know, I took it for about the 3 months..I went into it with a 12 week window, my thinking is, "OK, Roberta prescribes this program for an initial 12 weeks..." When I was considering the topamax..I REALLY didn't want to take it because I just don't like taking any chemicals..and I feared that I would be sensitive to it..but I decided that if the topamax would help me switch my modus operendus (sp) along with the other holistic methods, then I would give it a try". I had to say that for most of the time I was on it, I absolutely could take a dirnk or leave it and experienced not wanting it...this WAS working with the hypnosis and everything else I was doing..I truly believe that it is what bumped me into a new way of experiencing my relationship with alcohol and brought me to the place of making the right decision for myself regarding abstenance..YES, I was very dissappointed to find that once I went off of it that I wasn't able to maintain moderation without considerable effort..I still WANTED to drink to squelch my feelings..call it a craving, (I don't)...taking the topamax and experiencing not wanting to drink added a new dimension...or maybe it's better to call it a point of reference for me to include when I needed to get really honest with myself about what I was doing with the alcohol and the decisions I needed to make for myself...it came down to whether I wanted to continue the tug of war with it..if the drinking was worth the taking a drug indefinitely in order not to abuse myself with it or if I should let go of the wine completely and be chemical and drug free...I chose the later because ultimately it came down to how I felt...how I felt when I was taking the drug..I felt good about not drinking, but I didn't like the undercurrent of the topamax..the quality of my daily life was compromised, I didn't like the way I felt when I wasn't taking the topamax and began bingeing again, or spending precious time concerned with how much I was drinking..or even thinking about it, and then I had to admit that I just feel better about everything, myself, my days, whatever Im doing when I'm free from having to deal with any of it. I'm rambling, but my main point is that if you haven't tried the topamax yet and you don't have any medical reasons not to..and you think you can obtain the prescription..AND if you are still struggling with moderation...I so highly recommending approaching it with the 12 weeks in mind..it's worth the minimal side effects (my functionality was never compromised as much as I feared)..it's only 12 weeks..that compared to the months and years of feeling defeated by the urge to drink is so minimal...

Okeedokee...I'm off my soap box now! love you all!
Dianne

[trishinnebraska]

8 November, Tuesday

Just a follow up...

I managed to achieve the one little goal I set for myself. I had my 4 drinks with a tall iced tea or water between each and actually with! In bed by 8:45P (exhausted from my early morning...)

I can't tell you how much better I feel today!

Small goals ARE achievable! This day, the True 8 November LOLOL - One small goal...3 drinks tonight with a water/tea chaser in between.

You guys are so good...else where else would I get these great ideas?

Tris

[dilayne]

8 November, Tuesday

Hey Tris! Congratulations! Good for you to be able to space the drinks out and drink the iced tea or water in between them! You are on your way! P.S. love your signature quotes!

[Quiescent]

8 November, Tuesday

Congratulations Trish!

[Mighty Mouse II]

8 November, Tuesday

Good morning everybody! Going to be a busy day. Getting off to a late start. Haven't really set any goals. That is so unlike me -- part of the problem is that I am waiting for election results from the different states where I have clients. New Hampshire is devastated. They turned democratic last night! They have been Republican since Lincoln. As results come in than I will know how to reposition everything. Then, I will be swamped.

Hope of you have a good day. The trip was pristine, but last night I got lax. I'm ok with it though because that is how social drinkers do -- enjoy relaxing moments once in a while. But, I will be very cautious today and put myself on guard the next time I am coming off of several stressful days with no sleep.

MM