Wednesday, November 15th

[Mighty Mouse II]

Hi Everybody. Yesterday was a horrible day -- I really blew it. I stuck to the amount of cokes in my goal, but I had twice the amount of alcohol I normally have on a weekday - instead of splitting one bottle, we split two. I got a call yesterday that my nephew was arrested in Texas, and once again, they managed to pull my parents in. I love my nephew and my brother. But all my life, I seem to be bailing his tail out of a sling. His son has had behavioral problems since he was young. I get him help, he does well, but as soon as he goes back home because of his home life, it is like a perpetual circle. I would have washed my hands of it years ago, but they drag my parents into it. I love my parents -- they are great people! They are also old and this kind of stress is killing them. So, bottom of line -- its a mess. My son came home yesterday early to work on his college stuff -- between this mess and problems with my new website - we got done nadda. He is so understanding, but I still hated it. Fortunately, I do have support from my husband and son! Otherwise, it would have probably been five bottles!!! I sure hope I can do better today!

MM
PS For those interested, my "shared faith in healing" prayers today is on husbands and wives
Love you all!

[dilayne]

Wednesday, November 15th

Good Morning MM,
Sorry you had such a rough day yesterday with your nephew...it is so hard to find that balance between helping loved ones and getting too pulled into it..I don't think there is an 'easy' solution. We've struggled so much with my ODD and her husband..and of course it's always for the kids...for you it sounds like it's for your parents now. We can't protect everyone from life's trials and tribulations..I know that sometimes my motivation to help comes from my own childhood...I have to step back sometimes and make sure I'm entering into the 'crisis' as an adult in the present moment..if I can't do it from that place, I am learning not to enter it at all. I'm getting better each time..it's a good thing because things on the 'outside' aren't likely to make a radical change in the near future. ((big hugs to you))
I'd like to visit your website..can you pm the URL or post it here?
Have a much better day..I hope you can find some healthy detachment from the family stuff!
Di

[Hawk]

Wednesday, November 15th

Good morning/afternoon all -

Oh Mighty Mouse - That has to be so frustrating. Especially when you have learned to walk away and you'd like to see your parents not involved either. But you can only change you, not them, your brother or nephew. And that stinks! I have a few people in my life that could benefit from change, but I cannot make them do it! Its frustrating. I do hope things get better for you and your family.

I made goals yesterday and kept very few of them. I said AF - no, I didn't do that. A friend came over with pizza for dinner and said, lets have beers with pizza so I did. Said I was going to the gym, and I did -- I actually got there and went in, had brows waxed at spa in gym and then left!! How lazy am I?? I said I would study for exam....nope didn't do that either. A very frustrating day all around. I procrastinate terribly.:blush:

Today is a slightly better story. I got up and read paper and then began studying. Have to go for some medical tests (kinda freaked about that) this afternoon. Was going to go to gym then but I think that will just allow me to let the studying go again and my test is Tuesday so I will come home and hit the books. Today, I think I will meet my goals. Baby steps I guess. Ugh.

Hope everyone has a good day.

[dilayne]

Wednesday, November 15th

Baby Steps Hawk! Hey, you got to the gym, right..and you came back with nicely waxed brows!!! Hope the med test and the school test go well!
(hugs)
Dianne

[dilayne]

Wednesday, November 15th

Hey Fan..thanks..and likewise! And...Amen to your last line! (hugs)

[Mighty Mouse II]

Wednesday, November 15th

Thank you everybody!!! Things are going better today. I had been really worried about my parents, especially my Mom. So, I pulled her out for lunch today and managed to help her put things in perspective. When she left, she was in great spirits with a terrific attitudge (don't know how long it will last). I only had one drink during my lunch outing (one less than I allow myself). Had my three cokes today. So all is well with the world today!

It is hectic "party week". My husband's birthday is tomorrow (63), my mom's on Friday (78), mine on next Tuesday (the big 50!!!), and I will be married 26 years on the 29th; and of course, there is Thanksgiving in there! -- I don't usually plan ahead, but work on one day at a time focusing on each minute -- but I am determined to get through the following week-and-a-half sober!!!

Dilayne and Fan, you two are sooooooo supportive of everyone! Hawk, you are doing great! How many beers did you have? I am one of those people who has to set a goal that I can do everyday, so I can't plan AF's, though sometimes they happen. I set a goal that I can reach each day, a challenging one. Then, once I've tackled that, I move to the next level. If you're not having luck the other way, you might try that. I also have this pack with myself that if I don't make it to the exercise room, then I put on active music and strut back and forth in the living room right before I get ready for bed -- I actually lose more weight on those days and I sleep better. It also gives me incentive to get to the exercise room because its hard to get the old body moving arobicly at night! But it sounds like you are well on your way to success!

Wishing you all well.

MM

[Saint Jude]

Wednesday, November 15th

Hi everybody,
Our cable has been out so I haven't had any computer access. It's been torture! Thank God my exercise equipment is all manual or I'd really be climbing the walls... and I mean that!
Just riding out the storm here. Sure have been feeling like drinking more than usual though... grey skies, sick cat peeing all over the house! Hubby keeps feeling sorry for him & letting him inside... I feel like the mean BIT*H from H.., but he's had a bad bladder infection, and needs to stay in the garage till he's healed. We have a heater & bed out there for him, it's not like he's abused. But I'm getting tired of cleaning EVERTHING(bedding, furniture,carpet,you name it,...), I'm afraid if that smell gets in house too much it's never gonna go away! Plus we have 3 dogs...
I think I should just throw the Hubby out there with the cat... if he's so damn worried about him!

On a lighter note, the sun came out for a while yesterday, and I have some roses blooming still...Amazingly:h

OK, thanks for letting me vent, I feel better. I still feel like such a big meanie though. Nothing like waking up with cat piss in your bed, to start your day out right! It did get me up though!
At least we have running water here...hot too!

[dilayne]

Wednesday, November 15th

Oh Judie..I'm feeling your pain! I have two old cats and two fairly young small dogs that I can't seem to get trained..it is driving me craaaaaazzzzyyy! The dogs stay in a pretty large office room downstairs during the day because it has linoleum flooring...problem is, even if I take them out, Dylan (named after Bob Dylan) will mark something in the house..no matter what! I have to be more disciplined with walking them..so I can't blame anyone but myself...However, it all just leaves me with the constant question, "what the hell is the universe trying to tell me with this sh#%$%T everywhere I look" ??????? OK, backing out slowly..obviously this was a trigger! LOL I feel better myself..thanks Judie!!!

[dilayne]

Wednesday, November 15th

Tangled up in bluuuuuuuuuee

:0)..oh yeah! My first date with my husband was a Bob Dylan concert at Chastain Park in Atlanta....he is a major fan..Fan!

[tinkerbell]

Wednesday, November 15th

Hi all

sorry to hear so many of you are having a stressful time. Its that dreaded run up to Christmas that doesn't help I think.

Had a bad day yesterday, got very drunk to celebrate getting a new job, so today is an AF day, although I could very easily drink a bottle of wine right now as I'm feeling really down after a row with my partner.

not even sure what we argued about, i think she is scared about me going back to work, abut us spending less time together. she thinks i don't compliment her enough, all her ego is based around being a "stud" and I feel she is threatening me in a way, by constantly talking about how she could have any woman she wanted

I don't really think its a good thing to talk about exes and your sexual prowess *rolls eyes* to a new partner. I find it makes me feel sick in my stomach. god I want a drink really badly...

[Waves 2]

Wednesday, November 15th

short and sweet

Hey Tink
Don't drink

Poetry reigns

Well done on the job. Don't let a tiff spoil your good fortune.

Everyone else. Love as always:l

Waves x

[Bookish]

Wednesday, November 15th

Hello all, it's kind of sunny out here today, but my spirits are low. Reading the posts has really picked me up today. Thank you!

I had a great time with my eight year old yesterday. I went on a field trip to Fort Ross. That is an old Russian Army, trapping and trading post on the Northern Coast of California. The children had a great time and I learned a ton about where I live and I have lived here all my life! The day ended with a cannon being discharged. No ball, just the power and I got to help light it. My son talked about it all day. It was great fun!

I'm not sure I would have signed up for this trip last year and if I did I would have probably been a little hung over and chewing gum the whole time. I feel I have been slipping a little lately, but I am so thankful I stumbled on to this place. It has saved my life!

On to other things, "I picked a bad day to quit sniffing glue" I am moody and as soon as I said the word AF, I went overboard. I guess I'm not ready yet.

Hawk, I have eyebrows like Brook Shields, I can relate to the wax. It's just like a workout!

Becca, Please keep the Avatar. It just kills me.

Judie, Sorry about the kitty. I'm with you. I'm about ready to throw one of my little guys outside cause he won't stay out of the trash. No just kidding, he's to little for that yet.

Hugs,
Laura

[Allie]

Wednesday, November 15th

Hey everyone --
Had a good day for the most part yesterday. My Mom started her second round of chemotherapy yesterday and it was a nine hour treatment.... yuck! I feel so sorry for the patient's getting chemo. They just have to sit in these recliners hooked up to IVs for hours on end. There is no T.V. in the room, white walls and they stare at the nurses station. I had to get all my stuff done for the first part of the day, and was able to go sit with her for about three hours until she was done and took her home. Obviously it bothered me a lot because I started crying on the way home. I just stayed quiet all evening and then got in a stupid tiff with my husband over the dumbest thing. But we were both reactive for different reasons and it just escalated into the biggest deal. He was yelling at me, I was crying, we were interrupting each other... it was awful. We havent fought like that in probably a year. Honestly. We rarely ever fight, and even our arguments are very minimal and resolve smoothly most times. I wasnt going to drink at all, but as soon as he went to his office to get on the computer, I opened a bottle of wine. And yes, I drank the whole thing. (small bottle). Still....

So today I am draggy, feeling really down and I called Mom to check on her first thing and she is having horrible side effects already despite all the anti-nausea, pain meds they put in her IVs. I've also run into some glitches with my school issues and starting full time in January, problems with some classes, etc. And to top it all off, my husband is leaving for China on business Friday morning for ten days. (He had no control over the dates), so he will not even be here for Thanksgiving. I just made reservations this morning at a nice restaurant for the kids and I, and my parents, and that is all we have planned. Sorry for the rant :sigh:

MM -- you are right about lots of people having spouse issues lately. Hmmm. We worked our issue out finally, but the cloud is still hanging around. We are supposed to have our little date night this evening since he is leaving Friday morning, so I hope I can get a little happier between now and then!!

Hope everyone else is having a great day!
Allie

[dilayne]

Wednesday, November 15th

Tinkerbell..sorry you are having a bad day...OH relationships...can't live with em', can't live without em' can we? Try to focus on your own well being..you are taking big steps for yourself...maybe you can just reassure her that the better things get for you, the better things will be for her as well! Take care and good luck on the new job in the future!
d

[eustacia]

Wednesday, November 15th

Wow, MM, you are in such a tough predicament. I can hear how worried you are about your parents. Maybe your nephew is providing some sort of answer himself by ending up in a mess whenever he goes home to his own parents and needs to live away from them. I dont know . . . just a thought.

Hawk--I know what you mean about baby steps. I feel like I've made some progress but I also lose confidence from time to time and fall back. Good luck with your medical tests. I hope that you will feel lighter once you're done with them.

Mike and Dianne--I went back to my late night post to delete it and instead found your kind words. And just now I found the lyrics Mike posted to Tangled Up In Blue and I felt so sad and hopeful all at once--all of the dashed hopes and yet the heart to acknowledge them and keep on going. Thank you for posting the lyrics, Mike. Reading them helped me feel less alone.

I've got to go now. Gypsi and SM-Mary, I hope that you are ok. Has anyone heard from Mojo?

:heart: E