Ok let's try this thing

[jennyneric]

Ok let's try this thing

Hello all, I am feeling the "separation" in this forum right now. I understand that some AFer are leery of modders. That's ok. I really can't decide what I am right now. I drank last night. I actually planed to drink because I will not be drinking tonight but I will drink on Saturday/ or would have. I broke a rule and drank on a week night so that is a problem. That is a problem I said I would go AF if I did. . ..

[Cassia]

Ok let's try this thing

Jenny,

Pay no heed to any leeriness! I don't think anyone would purposefully be suspicious...it's more out of concern because, as you have seen/read...modding doesn't seem to work for most people. Just be yourself.

I think join an af thread will help I decide if abstinence is right for u. It will give you some regular perspective. I hope that doesn't sound patronising as you have probably followed lots of af threads. I find it helpful to me to be active in one.

Xx

[Doggygirl]

Ok let's try this thing

Hi Jenny. I agree with Cassia - I don't think "leery" is the right word. Believe me, nearly everyone here has struggled trying to moderate their drinking somewhere along the path. The brutal truth is that most of us seem to find that we can't. I can only really speak for myself - I certainly proved to myself that I can't.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

If there is a sense of "leeriness" it may also be that for many AFers (I am one of them) I must be cautious about engaging in discussions that place drinking in a positive light. That can trigger thoughts that maybe I can drink moderately too. I know I can't. The mind is a tricky place.

Hope that helps.

DG

[jennyneric]

Ok let's try this thing

Thank you Cassia and DG I quite agree with both of you. I really don't want to trigger any drinking thoughts for anyone but I would still like to be apart of the AF threads when I am AF. I guess I want to know if I'm wanting to eat my cake and have it too.

[Doggygirl]

Ok let's try this thing

jennyneric;1058435 wrote: Thank you Cassia and DG I quite agree with both of you. I really don't want to trigger any drinking thoughts for anyone but I would still like to be apart of the AF threads when I am AF. I guess I want to know if I'm wanting to eat my cake and have it too.

I personally never felt right when I was drinking either pretending that I wasn't or talking about it in a way that might make someone else want to. I respect what a struggle this is for everyone! Find a way to be honest and respectful and you will be fine!

DG

[Cassia]

Ok let's try this thing

Hey jenny,
I think if you ate upfront, explain the situ and that you are looking for support then no one can really argue with that and I think you will find that most people respect u for being honest.

Dg makes an excellent point in that each individual has to protect their own sobriety so it may be necessary not to be involved in certain threads or conversations. U can see how that could be misinterpreted as suspicious.

For me, I like the debate around addiction, what causes it, where people are on the path and how they have come to where they are on their own personal journey. That's why I enjoy both the mod and the af threads. It educates me. I post on a lot of af threads because being af works for me right now. I hope it continues to do so.

Hope this helps.

X

[Cassia]

Ok let's try this thing

Jenny

I also think that we could all spends a lot of time worrying about triggering drinking thoughts in other people. I did it with my dad for years. To be quite blunt...people gonna drink cuz they want to drink, not cuz of what you said. We cant live in a bubble...we have to deal with alcohol, alcohol chat amd alcohol behaviour in situations. So please don't fret about it. We all have our own coping mechanisms when those thoughts hit!

Xx

[KundaliniGirl]

Ok let's try this thing

Jen - if you're not sure about modding, I would definitely maintain a connection on the AF threads! No one judges here that I can see - just do what's best for you while being mindful of others.

Sending you peace and strength,

KG

[mylife]

Ok let's try this thing

Hello All,

I had a long couple of days Thursday and Friday and had to travel out of state Fri. I'm back and so happy to be home -- I hate traveling for work -- actually I just hate air traveling at all now. Anyway, those two long days triggered me to drink. I didn't go crazy, but I drank more than I planned and on occasions I hadn't planned both nights.

I broke my own rule about why and when I would drink in my very first week of modding. And I don't like turning to AL as a stress reliever. I think that I need some more AF time under my belt to break some bad habits that got me into this situation in the first place -- so I'm going to go back to abstaining for awhile.

Jenn, I completely agree with KG and Cassia, don't feel you can't post or tell people what you did. We all have to make our own sobriety our number one goal and let others worry about what works for their sobriety.

Hope you all have a great day.

[Cassia]

Ok let's try this thing

Hey ML

Sorry to hear that you broke your own rules but at least its not turned into a binge. I hang out on the af daily thread - lots of great people there. Also, the army (lots of long time abs plus some people who are new), and focused feb. All awesome people. Stop by.

xx

[KundaliniGirl]

Ok let's try this thing

ML - I admire your resolve and what you're saying makes sense. I think traveling would really trigger me too - it's stressful in and of itself. Will catch up with you later if you decide to mod again. IMHO you are making the right decision. Nothing could be worse than getting back into the drinking rut!! It sounds like you and Jen had similar experiences with trying it out. Maybe it's too soon, or maybe you'll end up just sticking with AF. Being AF is hard to beat - really feels good in the mornings for sure!! Best of luck.

xx,
KG

[mylife]

Ok let's try this thing

Thanks Guys.

I will still lurk around here and see how it's working for people. You're right though KG, I might just stick with AF as it does feel so great once I really get into the swing of it.

Cassia, thanks for the tips -- I will check out those threads.

Have a great day.