Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

[lushy]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Thank you Macks. You fit in very nicely over here.

[TracyA]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Hi All. Doesn't help to kick yourself around PP. I hope you get feeling better as the day wears on.

Me too, Mack. It's almost easier being AF (which I plan to be until finals are over) just because my headspace is different.

Fan, you 'da man.

Tawny, ah I wish there were something to say. My heart goes out to you.

How many more post to I have to make before getting promoted and people call me sir?

Everyone have a good day.

[lushy]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

829 Tracy. Get cracking.

[InnerStrength]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Macks - I know that feeling - that 'watering mouth' that comes with the craving. I understand alll too well. We all believe in you Macks. This thing is bloody hard! Please just do what is right for you and know we are here to support and love you no matter what you choose.
Precious - do NOT feel like a failure. If one bad night was a sign of failure, then we all would be failures, including some of the "old timers" in AA (ex two men who each had forty years) since most people dont "get it right" the first time - or even a couple of times. This is a process. What I think is important is that you acknowledge and learn from this. And you have - you are being honest and you realize why it happened. Now take the tool of knowledge you have gained and add it to your 'toolbox' of skills/knowledge and tools you use to fight this thing (to borrow a term from our lovely Mike up North).
Lusch - I am here! I sent you a PM, your highness
Bec - how are you doing today? Good job on AF last night and commitment to the same tonight! Love you girl - and it was nice to see you in chat yesterday
MKR - always our kind soul - I hope your kitty feels better - and you know what? YOu have every right to worry. It is most certainly not trivial. Animals are family. (Hugs)
Hi Chrys! You are a kind soul with your supportive words.
rachele - good job on the exercise girl! You should be proud!
MM and Paula - both of you - such great advice. We are wise, wise people arent we?????
Hawk - ditto to you my dear on what I said to Precious.....you have learned from it so let's take one another's hands and move forward.
Tawny - thanks again for sharing a piece of your soul with us. You are such a beautiful person and my prayers go out to you too today.
Fan - darling, i hope you are having a decent day as it goes on. I will look for you in chat.
Tracy - hello my dear - hope your day is great!
Phew and hello to all I have not named personally though you know I love you all...

Love Jen

[Quiescent]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Oh, did I say I really do care deeply for you all?

I really do:l

[Quiescent]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Well, I was just out mowing the lawn and was thinking a lot.

I was thinking about Macks post today.

Macks, I want to tell you how much I admire you for coming here to Mods .

It must have been an incredibly difficult decision for you. Especially knowing you may be referred to as a Muffin Man.

Anyway, I want put in my two cents about your quandary for the day.

I am not doing very well right now with controlling my drinking. I am not going out and getting hammered every night either. My drinking is not interfering with any part of my life with the exception of maybe my self esteem and my health.

When you go from being in an abstinent situation because you have a drinking problem that requires abstinence and then you come over to moderation without a plan, you are asking for trouble.

You said your plan was to have a few on Friday night and now here it is Monday and you are fighting with it.

Macks if you are going to do Moderation, you must have a moderation plan and stick to it.

I want you to succeed and I?ll do anything I can to help.

That sounded very motherly didn't it

Or don't do as I do, do as I say

[MKR]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Mike you are too cute!

Macks, like Tracy, I found it's easier to be AF many of my mods days rather than starting in. I also decided to NOT have my favorites around the house. WAY easier if they are not calling me. The cabinet is fully stocked since Thanksgiving so I have to go back to that super mind set when I get home and ignore that cabinet . . . Otherwise it will be a slippery slope indeed for me. Last night's dinner invite got moved to tonight, have one tomorrow and Friday so I can have a drink at those but I don't think I better start in at home at all.

Rachele is right, make a plan, whatever will suit you but make a plan so that you can stick with it and if an event comes up that is not in your plan, then make a quick plan to simply have one drink, two tops . . . no more.

Lush, SENIOR MEMBER, I am bowing!! I just loved the thought the other day of taking the tunes and painting away as Judie suggested that was what her day looked like. Sounded relaxing and fun. Ceilings are best if done first but you may want to try this: paint your ceiling now go ahead and run it down a bit into the wall area by about an inch. When the ceiling is dry go about 3/16" down from the ceiling with the wall paint and draw your line there. If you try to meet the ceiling and the wall there are often enough little lumps and messes in the contour that it won't look like a straight line. Starting the wall 3/16" down is an optical illusion that the joint is matched perfectly.

Thanks Jen and Lush for telling me it is OK if I am all worried about my kitty. You are right, she is part of our family.

Rachele, OMG, 9 miles. WOW!! We love you too!

Hugs,
Mary

[dilayne]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Hi everybody...wow, I feel so out of the loop..I miss you guys! I hardly posted over the holidays and then Kanga..just so surreal and sad. This is really such an amazing creative group of people with the biggest hearts I've ever seen...I just get filled up reading everyone's post!

Right now I'm really relaxed into my Abs..there have only been a couple of times when I thought of a glass of wine, I've been....drum role here....EXERCISING! Woo, hoo, hoo...Not quite running 9 miles...OMG..I coudn't imagine, that is awesome, but I have a new fancy smansy treadmill that I just love in my new little exercise room..there is a window that looks out on my garden..I can put my little dogs out there to play while I work out...feeling good, breathing deep...

It's been a rather long and dark year so all of this may see a little boring to some, but just feeling light and easy is so nice..you know? I've been heavy and deep...had to be..for a while, the feeling is like the sun breaking from behind a dark cloud...I know, I know...I'm not the poet, but that is what it feels like...

I've given up the wine for now and now I'm about to give something else up that I've been attached to for as long as I remember..and NOT attached in a healthy way..I'm putting it here in writing just to put it out to the universe (MKR)..and would love your support around it...It's really not exactly a tangible thing..it's something that I've clung to for a sense of identity (as if I really needed to), I'm letting go of 'the artist' so that I can be a 'human'...I want to cry just saying this because it's been a long time coming. It's not that I won't create art, but when i took art on as a child..I took it on with some other stuff that has made it more of a source of pain than joy, and I think I'm ready to let it go...I have to if any real art is going to come out of me...so...I don't know if this makes a lick of sense to anyone else, but you guys and gals know my secrets..and this is a big one. thanks for being the REAL artist in this world...the writers and poets here..just blow my mind. Namaste!

[Preciouspinot]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Thanks for everyone's support and kind words today. I REALLY needed them! You guys are just the best. I got through my day successfully and feel much better now. Thanks again...

Di.. tell me more about giving up "the artist"; I'm intrigued

[dilayne]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Hi Precious...I know I wasnt' clear...Well, it's kind of like taking off a robe I've worn all my life..a robe that's become heavy and hard to carry...I've made it that way for some known and unknown reasons. It's felt like a pressure..an obligation...something I have to 'master' in order to belong...all of which of course is everything BUT being an artist...Sooo, I'm taking off that robe, I'm putting up my easal, I'm just going to walk away from it for a while...but I'm doing it from a loving place, that's the important thing..I'm doing it because I know that it's bullshit that I've been carrying around and that I really don't have to do anything to be loved, to belong, to be worthy..I'm letting go of that so that I can enjoy that...if I have the uncontrollable urge to create...I'll honor that and create..but if it feels like the old 'robe'...I'll just have to decline, for now..until I can do it with joy, for the right reasons....to express myself, to explore, to play. For some reason, I've not been able to do that...I know I have to let it go before I'll ever...if ever, be able to do that. Does that make any sense? Thanks for asking dear.

[AtlantaJJ]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Preciouspinot wrote: Hey everyone. I royally f***ked up yesterday. I am dieting (due to thanksgiving) and yesterday all I ate was a lean quisine and took a half of a diet pill. I proceeded to drink 6 glasses of wine, forgot to eat dinner. This resulted in me passing out to sleep, not going to sleep and I blacked out the end of the night. I have not had a black out in 5 months. Now I feel guilty and shakey as I sit here aat my desk at work. I hate this feeling and I was doing sooo well. I can't afford to feel this way today as I have an important conference call in an hour, a management meeting and have to disicpline an employee. I am drinking a red bull and hope I can snap out of soon. I am so freaking disappointed in myself!!!! :upset: :upset: :upset:


I felt I was doing so well only yesterday afternoon. Please guys, I really need some words of encouragement here. I feel like a loser..............

Hey I know the feeling, the best medicine for you today is not to drink! Can you go for a walk or to the gym after work today? What are you going to have for dinner? A big dinner really helps me, right when I hit the door with a big glass of water. Then go to the drink counter tool and post a big fat 0 for drinks today. I love that counter thing, I'm looking forward to adding a bunch of 0's in the future. I was doing so well too, and I slipped over the holiday but I"m back on track starting today. Lets do this together!:flower:

[Mackeral]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Hiya all,

I didnt manage it tonight...I went out and got a few...I feel dead ashamed saying it...
Like i said before i think that the idea of me having a drink meant that my imagination could run wild.........Do you know .....Its the christmas tree syndrome......
All year i dont think about christmas...BUT...When i see the first chrismas advert on the telly.WHHHhhhaaaaaaaaa....ITS CHRISTMAS......Seed planted and job done.
Same with the drink i think..

[Hawk]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

Oh Macks. I know exactly what you mean about plantig the seed. Damn. Been there....hang in there dude.

[Preciouspinot]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

I get it now Di...It sounds like you're really digging into some deep issues...good for you..your next masterpiece will be a better you

[dilayne]

Tuesday, Nov. 28th.

thanks Precious!