Moving folders - new to moderation :)

[Owly]

Well I was posting in the newbie folder for a couple of weeks but now I'm moving over to moderation as my extreme pack has arrived from MWO and I've been moderating for a week or so now.

Since starting the supplements five days ago I went out once - last night, as I felt confident I could have 'just a couple', but there was a difference, this wasn't a hope, it was just knowing that I would only have a couple. And I've never in 15 years of drinking drank like I did last night - I actually sipped the pint, and it took me over an hour to finish, I wasn't thinking about the next one constantly, or watching the clock for closing time. When closing time came I was on my third but instead of downing it I left it behind - something I've never done before and which has always baffled me when I see others leaving drinks!

There was a couple of minutes of danger when I left where I was tempted to go into the casino to congratulate myself but very soon realised this was absurd, a bit of fresh air walking to the take-away cleared that idea out.

I also joined a gym for the first time today and have a personal trainer who has said it's fine if I drink occasionally. I still expect to have a silly night every now and then, but I also expect to have more of those moderate nights, and plenty more staying in now I have to be in a good state for the gym.

Can't believe how I felt drinking that pint, it was like I knew how others, normal drinkers, feel when they drink. I started feeling quite sleepy - I had never understood people who said alcohol makes them drowsy, it makes me go mental and hyper, I was obviously getting so many calories it was overpowering the relaxing effects of the alcohol. To be honest I didn't even really want it.

Could the pills have worked so quickly? Was I just lacking calories or vitamins that the supplements are giving me and which the calorie content of the alcohol was giving me and making me binge? Is it a placebo effect? Doesn't matter, it seems to be working, and I haven't even listened to the CD yet!

:thanks: for listening Couldn't have done it without the posters here.

[lushy]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Hi Owly, I believe a big part of what happened to you last night is because you are ready to make a big change. Simple as that. The supplements help with the physical cravings but it is the psychological cravings that are hard for most of us. Good job on recognizing that you felt different and not going overboard. Welcome to mods land!!!

[NickC]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Well done Owly. Looks like you finally have got that "cunning plan" sorted. I'm still in the 4 week "reboot" phase so will be interesting to see if it goes the same positive way as you in a week or so. Bit worried that will go down my old binging ways but I think Lush may be right. Once the decision has been made maybe that's the key part.

Let me know how it goes brother!

NICK

[MKR]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Well done Owly!

Just awesome Owly and :welcome: to mods!! Glad to have you with us.

Listen to Lush she is not only a senior majestic member here, she is full of wisdom!

:l , Mary

[Hawk]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Congratulations Owly - that's great! It's a good feeling to be out and feel "normal." I remember the first time I felt that! Keep up with supplements and exercise, they make a difference. The cds are super too. Sounds like you are off to a fabulous start! Congrats and welcome to mods:welcome:

Hawk

[lushy]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Yes, and listen to Mary because she knows of which she speaks.

[Preciouspinot]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Bravo and welcome :welcome:

[Owly]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Thanks guys

Just listened to the CD, bit skeptical myself - I think I'm one of those people who can't by hypnotised. Was pretty relaxing but I don't think it had any effect. I guess it went in there somewhere though. How are you supposed to go 'deeper' with seagulls squawking in the background!

[Mighty Mouse II]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Welcome Owly!!! So nice to have you in mods!!! Congrats on your recent discoveries. You are well on your way to reaching your goals. You will find a lot of support here!

With warmest welcomes,

MM

[Owly]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Well I went 6 days AF, not unusual, but had last night marked as a going out night. For the first part I was in the pub in a pool tournament and not really thinking about alcohol at all, just quietly getting through about four pints over four hours. After closing time it would be usual now for me to be desperate to find somewhere to continue drinking and the intake would accelerate, but last night I was actually in two minds about whether to go on to the casino or just go home - there would have been no question before.

I went into the casino and would have normally sat at the bar with two bottles of beer and a double brandy, just had one bottle and sat there looking in disgust at all the opticals, whereas before they would look like gorgeous diamonds sparkling in front of me and I'd be virtually drooling. I think it's worked too well! I don't want to hate alcohol, but that's how I felt. It was a little sad to be honest. I actually had to force myself to drink more, three double brandies over the next three hours, and happy when the bar closed and I went home, rather than devastated, especially as I'd made a nice sum at blackjack

So there you go - this thing really works, but does it work too well? Right now I'd usually have woken up desperate to keep drinking and having to fight the desire to go to the pub - it hasn't even entered my head today, it's inconceivable. It's all I wanted!

Thanks everyone

[Owly]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Guess I spoke too soon, should have known better. Back in the cycle... but it's a 15 year habit I'm trying to break so it isn't going to work overnight..

[fsophiah]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Owly, I'm so glad to see how things are going for you. A couple of weeks ago, you hadn't really started into supps or meds or any of the rest of it, and I knew that when you did, there would be a profound change. And I know what you mean about being a little confused about what is happening to your head. That was my first reaction, and my second was that God had embraced me. And I'm not that way. It just felt so foreign and so outside of myself. Anyway, keep it up. It's the full on thing that makes it work. Don't worry about the hypno. I find that if you just take it for what it is and donn't expect hocus-pocus, you'll get the most out of it. It's really good for relaxation and meditation, and there was something about it that hit a place that nothing else did. It also helped me learn to direct my own relaxation. Good work!

[betty boop]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Hi Owly,

Don't beat yourself up, you are going in the right direction.

Keep it ip.

Love & Hugs, Paula :h :l :h

[Saint Jude]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Hey Owly'
Indeed we are all "works in progress", and like someone else on the boards once said, it's like climbing a Mt. Just because ya loose your footing a bit doesn't mean you end up at the bottom of the climb where you started... you just loose a few steps from where you lost your foothold, and start climbing back up!
I really believe keeping in close contact with everyone here, and all the support makes such a huge difference, this place has changed my life.

[Owly]

Moving folders - new to moderation

Thanks for your kind words

However despite my positive posts it all went horribly wrong. I don't think I've eaten for four days, my flat is a total mess and, without wishing to alarm anyone, I spent saturday night smoking crack with an assassin and swigging from bottles of sambuco. The reason I mention it is because it is a typical reaction to the positive steps I made, and it was going really well, who'd have thought I'd go 6 days AF and actually be going to the gym! But an equally extreme reaction was waiting for me at the other end, it's like the better I do, the worse I fall off at the end. So.. it was four days drinking, hundreds of pounds spent/wasted befriending shady characters and I've lost my phone so I can't even call the gym to cancel. I will have to go there in person which is probably not a bad idea just so my coach can see how low I have sunk, I'll have the remainder of a bottle of sambuco in my jacket pocket, because now I'm right back at the low point and in danger of a panic attack, having missed out several days of my anti-anxiety medication and the supplements.

So just in case you thought it was all rosy and on the up - it isn't! But thanks for listening, I feel incurable.


Tristan.

xx