Moder8 Day by Day

[Zimmerman]

Posted this post yesterday on a different thread, but I decided that I wanted to write my daily experiences with Moder8 (for at least 2 weeks), so, rather than just take over someone's thread, I figured I'd just move it here:

Here's my basic situation:

Over the last two years, my drinking has increased to roughly a bottle of red wine per night, almost exactly. There are rare occasions where I'll have a bottle + 1 glass, and there are occasions, also infrequent, when I have less. It's extremely rare that I don't drink at all in a given day, unless I'm ill or alcohol is not available. When I'm unable to drink, I don't experience any anxiety over it. I don't wake up with hangovers, though, 1 bottle is enough that I think it may be affecting the quality of my sleep. I'm not walking around tired all the time, but I'm I also don't often have that really good, well-rested feeling.

Wine is largely my drink of choice, though I do have beer on the weekends. Once in a great while, I might have a bloody mary at brunch, but, aside from that, I avoid hard liquor, mostly because, outside of the bloody mary, I just don't care for it.

So, I've been at 1 bottle per night for awhile now, and, recently (let's say the last few months), I've found myself wanting to open another bottle. I never do. The times that I've had more than a bottle tend to be, because there's a partial bottle left or we had a 1.5L bottle or something like that. Anyway - I've felt all along that 1 bottle per night is too much. However, since I couldn't really point at any concrete negative consequences of it, I've allowed it to continue. However, going beyond that 1 bottle is where I've drawn the line. After telling myself "no" to going beyond 1 bottle for a couple of months, I finally decided that it was time to take it a step further.

I found Moder8 just by searching online for moderation solutions. The price for a 1 month supply (particularly compared to the cost of the wine I would hopefully not be drinking) was certainly not cost prohibitive, so I ordered a 1 month supply, and I started it today. It's around the time when I would normally have my first drink, and I really don't have any desire to do so. Of course, this is the first today - given that I resolved to do something about this starting today, it's likely that I would have not had any huge issue today, anyway.

My moderation goal is as follows: drink no more than 2 drinks on any given weekday, no more than 3 on any weekend day, and no more than 10 total in a given week.

I'm following the Moder8 recommendation that you abstain from drinking for the first week. I'm happy to say that doing that causes me no anxiety. I don't know that I've ever had a gutteral urge to drink. I just know I was drinking to much, and had the desire to drink more, and I really want to do something about while it's still something that's easy to get my head around.

I have to wonder after reading that last paragraph - it sure reads like denial. It IS actually how I feel, but I'm not sure how I would react if someone told me that same thing, then went on to tell me they were taking supplements to help control the amount they drink.

I'll continue to update this thread with my Moder8 experience for those interested.

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 1 Recap:

Took the 2 capsules of Moder8 first thing on an empty stomach. It didn't cause me any discomfort. About 30 minutes later, while having my first cup of coffee, I got a bit of a tingly feeling in my upper body. It was mild, not disconcerting, and neither good nor bad - just a little odd. Kind of a like a really mild version of what you feel when your arm falls asleep and is waking up. When I took my afternoon capsule (about 4 PM), I didn't experience that.

As far as urge to drink, it wasn't really there. Of course, we're talking about Monday, and I never drink during the day, and I would have considered it highly unusual if I really even thought about it. Also, as I mentioned before, this was day one. In matters such as these, where I have the resolve to start a program, I don't stumble the first day. I typically have the right mindset about it.

I have to confess, that I did think about how good a glass of wine would have been with my dinner. I had turkey, and turkey and red wine is likely my favorite pairing in the world. That thought occurred to me as I was taking my first bites of turkey, but was gone well before the end of the meal, and I enjoyed my dinner, and never gave drinking a thought afterward.

I have to confess, I'm a little disappointed that I don't feel better-rested today. I had theorized that the bottle-of-wine every evening was negatively affecting my sleep. Maybe I was just wrong, or maybe I need a few days to get all the garbage out of my system. We'll see. I feel like I slept well last night, but I feel like I'm dragging a bit this morning. I don't feel bad - but just about the same.

Anyway, my day went about as expected. It's been a long time since I opted to take a day off of drinking, and it was pretty liberating to be able to do it with no issues. I started out this week thinking: this is going to be a long week, and now my attitude about that has changed. I'm not foolish though - I know how life works. If something really stressful happens at work or home, this could all change. For now, though - all is well.

Start of Day 2:

Feeling pretty good. Took the 1 capsule first thing as "prescribed". I did experience the "tingling" again, but it was much more faint, and only lasted a minute or two. Of course, I was taking 1 capsule vs 2, so that leads me to think it's related to the Moder8. I'm not sure why, but again, it's not really a good or bad feeling - just something I notice.

I have less going on today, and I'm leaving work early. So, I'll be home for a greater period of time today (basically from 3 PM on) which would, normally, make having a drink more enticing, however, I'm definitely feeling positive about things and not worried about getting through the day at all.

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 2 Recap:

Much the same as Day 1 for the most part. The only real time I thought about drinking was while I was eating my dinner (Carnitas!). I did have a horrible time sleeping last night. I couldn't get to sleep, couldn't stay asleep and woke up (for good) early. I kind of felt like I was hungry - it reminded me of times when I was fasting or doing some extreme food restriction after a weekend of food indulgence. However, my food intake yesterday was normal. Of course, I've basically cut out 500 calories or so of wine, so I guess I could have been hungry, but I didn't feel like eating any more. I went for a long run yesterday evening which could have played a part in that as well.

Start of Day 3:

I feel kind of run down from the lack of sleep, and I've got a busy day, but, as far as the drinking (or lack thereof) goes, I'm feeling good.

[Unwasted]

Moder8 Day by Day

Zim - I'm someone who is going AF, but I couldn't help but notice your thread. Don't you think it's highly possible that the Moder8 is affecting your sleep? It seems that anything that's potent enough to mitigate cravings would be strong enough to impact sleep. Just a thought.

I tried to moderate many times and was pretty successful by most standards. However, eventually I got to where even 2-3 drinks impacted my sleep (and I thought why bother with just one drink - I never want just one) and so I'm not on a mission to be totally AF.

Wishing you well!

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 3 Recap:

Much the same as day 2, but I was tired from the lack of sleep. I slept better last night, but despite being exhausted still didn't fall asleep until around 11 (and that after taking a Benedryl at 10). All in all, though - things are chugging along. I can't say my cravings have been very strong. I think a lot of the time when I think about drinking it's habitual, though - like at dinner - but seems to pass once I actually start eating.

Speaking of which, I feel like I've felt hungrier, particularly yesterday. I should probably start keeping a food journal to see if that hunger makes sense based on food.

Day 4 Start:

Better rested. Feeling more energetic. I'm gonna go for a run this morning. I'm meeting a friend of mine at a pub tonight, but have no intention of drinking. Shouldn't be a big deal. She doesn't drink, though that typically wouldn't stop me, and it should be a relatively short visit anyhow.

Unwasted,

Thanks for the note. I have absolutely considered that Moder8 is affecting my sleep. I certainly wouldn't have predicted it, considering that the literature says that it has a "mild sedative effect", but I've made 2 significant changes in my habits this week: 1) I started taking moder8 and 2) I haven't been drinking. Naturally, I think it's one (or both) of those things. In any case, I'm determined to ride out the Moder8 for the first 7 days. After that, per the directions, I will only be taking it in the morning (on AF days), and I'm hoping that, if it's the culprit, not having the afternoon dose will help.

I think that if 2-3 drinks hurt(s) my sleep, I will reassess whether or not moderation is worth it. At this point, that amount doesn't, and, in fact, if I do have 2 glasses of wine, I tend to sleep well. I'm not really looking that far ahead, though. I have had moments during the last few days where I've thought that I might just go totally AF, but, right now, I'm just focused on this week. If I attempt to moderate and struggle, I'll probably make a change.

Again, thanks for the reply, and good luck with your efforts to be AF!

[Unwasted]

Moder8 Day by Day

Zim,

Sounds like a good plan. I like the way you're being very methodical and rational about it all.

Just an FYI - once upon a time, a couple of glasses of wine did not seem to negatively impact my sleep. Something changed with the way my body processes alcohol. When I started having major sleep problems and started researching the connection to alcohol I was amazed at what I read. EVERYTHING I read talked about the negative correlation.......Then, when I actually stopped drinking for the first time in my adult life (I was always a daily wine drinker) my sleep magically and profoundly corrected. I would never have thought there was that dramatic a connection.

Anyway, wishing you the best on your experiment. I'll check in on you periodically to see how you're doing in your petri dish.

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 4 Recap:

Really good day. This is the first day that I really didn't even think about drinking at all. No cravings of any kind. I went to the pub, and I was happy to have (and rather enjoyed, actually) the iced tea. My friend I was meeting, who I never see drink, actually ordered a beer. She only drank about 1/4 of it, but felt compelled to order one, being in a pub and all. Still no issues. I also slept pretty normally last night.

I'm still trying to only focus on this AF week right now, and then figure out my plan forward. However, I can't help but think beyond that somewhat. After day 4 going so well, I can now look back at days 1-3 and see how, even though, those weren't horrendous, they weren't all that great, either.

I think that a big part of it is that, since I'm not drinking right now, I don't have that cloud over me. My drinking has increased over the last 2 years, but I've probably been on the bottle-a-day-every-day plan for about 8 months. For that entire time, I've been concerned about where it was headed. I've known it was too much, and I've had concerns about it getting worse. Right now, since I'm making a change, those concerns aren't there. Of course, I have other concerns, but I've really gotten an emotional boost from making a calculated change.

Day 5 Start:

Feeling good. I'm going to run again today, and I'm tied up until about 9:30 PM with activities with the kids, so this likely would have been an AF day for me even under "normal" circumstances, so no major concerns here. I'm looking forward to the weekend. In the past, if I wasn't drinking over a weekend (due to some diet I was on or some other such thing...South Beach Diet, for example, which allows red wine, but not for the first 2 weeks), I never had that attitude. It was more like - "If I can get through this weekend...etc, etc", but I'm not feeling that way about this weekend.

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 5 Recap:

Relatively easy day in terms of cravings, I guess. I did feel irritable most of the day. This happens. I think it's just my age (turning 40 this year). It wasn't any kind of irritability other than what I deal with time-to-time anyway. Under normal circumstances, I would have certainly reached for a drink to take the edge off, but, as I had mentioned in my last post, I had evening activities with the kids, so, I wouldn't have drank even if I wasn't attempting this change. I didn't get home until almost 11 PM, at which point, I ate a fudge pop and went right to bed.

Day 6 Start:

I feel a little groggy and I have a bit of a headache. I feel like I didn't sleep well and a little more stiff than usual. I wasn't up throughout the night or anything. I may have just slept in kind of an awkward position. I had a number of not-very-exciting dreams last night. Like, I dreamed that I got a particular email from a neighbor of mine, and a phone call from another friend. Since these are "normal" occurrences, I woke up thinking that I was remembering them, not dreaming them. Not sure if this is related to the alcohol and/or Moder8, but I don't often remember dreams, so I thought it was worth noting.

I'm starting to think more about my plan for week 2, but I'm going to hold off making any decisions until tomorrow. I'm leaning toward staying AF for the week, or at least for the weekdays. We'll see. I'll put it together tomorrow so I have a firm plan to start Monday morning. I have no social engagements, so, if I do drink, it will be just wine with dinner, but, again, I'm leaning toward not even doing that.

I keep saying my plan is/was to drink no more than 10 drinks per week (no more than 2 on any given weeknight and no more than 3 on any given weekend day), but, while I think I will employ that as a max, I'm going to put together a very specific plan for each week at the time that each week starts. Still working through it, but doing well.

Also - after 1 week, the Moder8 has me switching to only taking that in the morning. I bought some L-Glutamine, which I will start taking on Monday. I'll take the Moder8 in the morning and the L-Glut in the afternoon. I'm not really struggling too bad with cravings, so I'm not sure if I'll need it, but based on what I've read about it, there are other benefits to L-Glut, and it's relatively cheap, so I figure what the heck?

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 6 Recap:

Yesterday was interesting. It was my first weekend day AF, which I think is why things played out the way they did. Basically, I had no issues until about 5 PM, at which point, I started having a series of thoughts about having a drink. I don't know that I'd call them cravings, though maybe I would. I was sitting out back and the the weather was wonderful, and I thought, "A glass of wine would be great right now." I realized after having a number of those types of thoughts in relatively short succession (and giving serious consideration to giving into them), I didn't take the afternoon dose of Moder8. So, I took it, and kind of pulled myself out of that situation (went upstairs to pick up a bit and do some things on the computer), and it was fine. I went to bed early.

I was kind of disappointed, because things had gone SO smoothly up to this point. I found myself starting to rationalize why it would be OK to drink. I ended up kind of telling myself to stick to the plan today (yesterday) and that I'd re-evaluate tomorrow (today). Of course, my plan all along was to drink nothing for 7 days.

For me, moderation means drinking less often and drinking less when I do drink. It's important for me to get to a point where an AF day is just an AF day, and that's no big deal. I have had some days like that this week. Yesterday was not one of them. If I feel like getting to that desired point is not likely, I may need to consider whether or not moderation makes sense for me.

Day 7 Start:

Despite yesterday's issues, I'm feeling really well today. I slept 12 hours last night. My sleep has been up and down this week, and I guess I had some catching up to do. Even though I told myself yesterday that I'd consider drinking today, I knew the moment I woke up I'd stay AF today. It's another weekend day, of course, but my plan was to start out with 7 AF days, and I don't plan on bailing now.

Per the Moder8 instructions, this should be the last time I take Moder8 twice per day on AF days. Going forward, it's once per day, then 30 minutes before any planned drinking. Really, I think the evidence (or lack thereof) of the effectiveness of Moder8 will come when I *do* drink again. I really haven't had too hard of a time with cravings and such, but it's really hard to say if any of that is attributable to the Moder8. When I do drink, what will be noteworthy is how I feel after 1 or 2 in terms of wanting to continue.

I still don't know what my plan is for this week, but I definitely want to make a plan. As of this moment, I'm pretty certain that my plan will involve remaining alcohol free until at least Thursday. I'm off on Friday, so I'm considering allowing myself wine with dinner on Thursday night, then AF again until Sunday (at least). We'll see, though - there's part of me that wants to just remain AF until a social situation presents itself. Then again, I'd kind of like to know that I truly have things under control before I even put myself in that social situation.

One final point of interest: I've mentioned that I've had issues sleeping. I've woken up in the morning (or in some cases, the middle of the night), with a dull pain kind of at the base of my skull - on the left side just above the neck. The only time I've experienced this sort of thing in the past is when I've been fasting, or starting a new diet (FYI - I've struggled with my weight since I was in 6th grade, though I've maintained a healthy weight and a high level of fitness for the last 2 or 3 years). I started thinking back over my eating habits this week, and I realize that I haven't been eating much.

I generally eat really healthy, but, as you know, alcohol really lowers inhibitions, and, for me, it definitely affects what and how much I eat. I always eat more and am more likely to eat junk when I'm drinking. So, I kind of expected cutting back to have positive effect on my health from a dietary perspective beyond simply not consuming the alcohol itself. However, it seems that I'm actually eating less during my non-drinking periods as well. I don't feel weak or anything during the day, but I do think I'm eating a little less during the day.

Also, drinking a bottle of wine puts an extra 500 or so calories into my system. They may be "empty" calories, but they're still calories. This is followed up by, I'm guessing, another 500 calories of snacks most evenings that I drink. So, I'm going to bed without that 1000 calories. I know 1,000 calories seems like a lot (particularly to the women on this forum), but I'm 6'3", and most days I run about 6 miles, which my GPS tells me is good for about 800 calories. I don't know why I'm boring you all with this diet minutia. My point is, I think that's affecting my sleep. I'm going to start eating a healthy snack sometime between dinner and bed and see if that helps.

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

I know I've been getting wordy, and this post will likely be the same - lots of thoughts on the subject, so, I apologize in advance...

Day 7 Recap:

This was easily my worst day in terms of cravings. I thought about it, and I realized that Sundays are the days that I typically drink the most. During football season, I start drinking beer when the games start, and don't really stop until nearly bed time. It's kind of a slow, steady pace, but it adds up. Football isn't quit yet upon us, but there were so many times when, were I not consciously not drinking, I would have been making myself a drink of some sorts. I didn't have too hard of a time shutting those thoughts down, but they were constantly there.

As the day wore on, I started asking myself, "why do you want that drink?". After awhile, that question evolved into, "why do you want that bottle of wine most nights?", and eventually, "why do you drink at all?"

Now, I've mentioned before that my drink of choice is red wine, and there are times when the pairing of that wine with certain food is just dynamite. In particular, there are few things in this world I enjoy more than red wine with turkey. THAT is not about the alcohol for me - it's about the flavors and the overall "experience". However, how often do I eat turkey in a year? Three times, maybe? There are other food pairings that are similar, but not as compelling (to me), but you see my point - my daily drinking habits aren't driven by these things.

So, it occurs to me that, by and large, when I drink, I'm drinking just to drink. It's not a means to an end - the drinking is the end. It's the goal. Now, of course, there may be other psychological things going on. It may be an escape of some sort. But, really, at the base of it, I realize that it's become just sort of "what I do", and I'm doing it simply to do it.

I took it a step further, and I realize some other things about myself. I always found it very stressful when I looked at the weekly calendar and most of our nights were full of obligations. I have a semi-stressful job, and a modicum of financial-related stress along with the normal day-to-day family and "life" stress that anyone has. Anytime you have a particularly busy week in addition to that, it DOES add another layer of stress. However, I can admit now that some of that stress was over me saying to myself in the back of my mind, "Holy crap - when am I going to drink?"

This past Friday, my son and I had something to do from about 7:00-10:00 PM. In the past, it would have really bummed me out that Friday was finally here, and I wouldn't be able to drink (at least not until after 10PM). I can't really describe (though I'm sure there are some of you out there that know) how liberating it felt this past Friday when it was not even a concern.

Seeing things from that perspective, I had to chuckle a little. I mean, alcohol perhaps starts as a way to unwind...to relieve stress, then, a couple years down the road, it's the cause of stress. It just kind of creeps up on you without you knowing it.

Anyway, all of this "soul searching" made for a very positive Day 7, despite the cravings battle. I feel like, a week in, I've given myself a much clearer picture of where I am, and the role alcohol has been playing in my life. It's causing me to re-evaluate my plan forward. I've decided to just make a daily plan each morning, based on my circumstances of the day. I will write the plan here and I will stick to it. Well, if I *plan* to drink, I will allow myself to not drink, if I don't feel like it when the time comes, but I will not drink on days I plan not to drink, and I will not drink more than the planned amount.

Each day, I'll recap the prior day and use the format below for the new day.

Day 8 Plan: AF

Feeling: Well rested, positive.

Events: Work during the day, activities w/ kids in early evening.

Notes:
Switching to Moder8 only once in the morning. Will probably take L-Glutamine in the mid-afternoon, after my run (as there as supposed muscle benefits when taken after exercise).

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 8 Recap:

I felt pretty good. No major cravings. It was really hot here in the later afternoon, and I was thinking, "Gee, a cold beer sounds really good." I actually consider this better (thinking about drinking to cool down) than just thinking about alcohol for the sake of alcohol. I know it's probably not that different, but still.

No issues related to the single Moder8. I took it first thing in the morning. I took some L-Glut late afternoon.

Day 9 Plan:

Feeling: tired, but fine

Plan: AF. I actually told myself yesterday I'd plan for a couple of beers today (it's supposed to be hot again), but I woke up this morning and feel like it's not a good idea, nor something I really care about that much. There's a preseason NFL game I want to watch on Thursday, so I may plan for a couple of beers. I may get some that's lower in alcohol content - some of those newer super-light beers are like 2-3% alcohol. Then again, maybe not.

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 9 Recap:

Well, there's good news and there's bad news.

The bad news is that I drank when I hadn't planned on drinking. We had no dinner planned, and I decided to pick up some steaks. The looked really good, and I thought a drink might go well with them, so I took a 2nd dose of Moder8 about 30 minutes before dinner. I was going to have wine, which makes sense, but I opted for an Imperial Stout I've had in the fridge for quite awhile, but never got around to trying. I gotta say - it went really nicely with the beer.

The good news is that I drank less than 2 beers. It took me nearly an hour to drink the first one, and I really enjoyed it. Honestly, I don't know why I opened the second one, though. I muscled through about 2/3 of it then dumped the rest out.

While I'm kind of disappointed that I went off plan, I feel good about a couple of things. I feel good about the amount that I drank. In particular, I feel good about the fact that I'm starting to think there are times when I *can* just have one. I also feel good about Moder8. Last night was just one night, but it served as an indicator to me that it actually works. I also feel "ok" about my reason for drinking. Of course, it wasn't necessary (when is it?), but I really felt that my motivation was to enhance my dinner (which it did), rather than just for the sake of drinking (or being drunk).

Day 10 Plan: Definitely AF. One of the reasons I feel last night went the way it did is because I hadn't had a drink for over week prior.

Feeling: Tired. I was up for 3 hours in the middle of the night. The alcohol + Moder8 could be a factor, but this is not atypical for me during times where job stress is high like it is this week (yet another reason I want to be careful about the booze).

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 10 Recap:

Well, we got invited to in impromptu barbecue. Maybe I'm just making excuses, but it seemed like (again) another justification for drinking. So, I took the Moder8 an hour before going over there. I had 1 beer. Now, I dunno if it's placebo or what's going on, but, again, after one, I didn't want anymore, so I had no more.

Either way, I'm not happy with going off plan, but I'm thrilled that I'm having 1 beer and being completely satisfied.

Day 11 Plan: I'm going to be watching football, so I think I'm going to get some of the lowest alcohol beer I can find...that Bud Select 55 is 2.4% and allow myself a few. I'll take the Moder8 beforehand.

Feeling: Decent. I'm coming down with a cold. I could have used more sleep last night, but what I got (about 6.5 hours) was pretty restful.

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 11 Recap: No real issues. I had 4 Bud Select 55s while watching the game. It's 2.4% alcohol by volume, so the alcohol is minimal. I enjoyed them. Even with the low alcohol content, it took me at least 30 minutes to drink each. I do really feel like the Moder8 is helpful.

Day 12 Plan: AF. I will definitely be AF today - I have activities all evening, and I have a cold, so, when I get home at 10 PM it will be straight to bed.

Feeling: Yuck. I have a nasty cold and a long day.

Coming to the end of the 2 week period. I'd like to continue the daily updates, for my own accountability, but I may just journal on my own.

[Zimmerman]

Moder8 Day by Day

Day 12 Recap: Well I had 2 of the Bud 55's when I got home tonight. That has the alcohol content of about 1 light beer. I'm not thrilled that I've now strung drinking days together, I am happy that I've kept the amount in check, and mostly because I haven't wanted to drink any more.

Day 13 Plan: A drink or two with dinner.

Feeling: OK - getting over the cold.

Notes:

I'm feeling good about things, and about Moder8. It may just be a placebo - I don't know. I do think there's part of me that just looked back at what I was drinking and was tired of it. I've avoided wine, mostly because that was my drink of choice during that period. I haven't really had much of a desire to drink it since. I'm trying to be careful not to let the drinking creep up on me.