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    Tuesday, December 19th

    Good Morning Everybody! I am starting today out fresh after having two days of family conflict over holiday hooplah! Now I know why I never deal with the holidays until the night before!!! This year, I got the crazy notion that I would prepare early and that way it would a more relaxing experience -- WRONG!!!
    First, this weekend I did trees. I got the most beautiful tree that I have ever seen. I usually either buy them from a lot on Christmas Eve, where they are so dead that the pine needles are brown and falling off as we are putting up the tree, or I go to a lot that has been over-farmed and get the most scrawny looking things you've ever seen. This year we went to a lot and the tree is fabulous! So, what's the problem? Well, as an environmentalist who understands the importance of trees, I wound up literally sobbing over how stupid I was to participate in such an awful tradition that would kill such a beautiful tree. I don't know what got into me. Everybody thought I was drunk or something even though I had very little, until I got up the next morning and started all over again. Honestly, I do not know why I felt this way. I have had trees all of my life (though I hadn't been hired to protect them until recently). So, we decided from now on we would get a huge balled tree and then plant, use it for Christmas, and then plant it somewhere. And no, I don't judge anyone else's decision -- quite frankly, I think I lost it!

    Then, my mother kept saying everyday that she wanted a tree, but she didn't want to be bothered, didn't want a big tree -- just went on and on and on. So, I bought the cutest little Norwegian Pine in a pot, put lights on it, some of my favorite bawbles that she likes, I just knew she would love it. So, I called and said we were coming with a little surprise. Five minutes later she called and said (in a very rude way), "please don't bring me a tree". Well, I lost it again. When she saw the tree, she loved it, but the moment was gone.

    Yesterday was the worst! I bought my husband and my son laptop computers for Christmas. I have a Compaq Presario 2700. I got them when they first came out on the market. It was $3,000 with all the options. My computer is still so great! And Compaq is incredible to deal with! One week after I got it, my son dropped it! I was honest with them, but they still replaced it free! When I was in California downloading some stuff at Kinkos, their system crashed my computer (they said it happens frequently). Compaq and Microsoft worked with me for two weeks and got it up and running. So, I got them yesterday for $600 each!! Couldn't believe it! My son will be so surprised. I had to tell my husband because he would not be happy to be surprised with such an expensive gift. He was all excited about it, but when I called from the store because in order to get two I had to take the model, he nastily said he didn't agree to get one for himself -- well, ultimately he took it, but the moment was gone. Last night we really got in a big argument over a lot of little stuff. We've made up, but this is not my idea of a great holiday!!! And now I have to wait several more days without telling my son what I got him. It will not be easy.

    So, I hope all of you are having a better time of this holiday preparation stuff than I!

    Thanks for listening to me complain about absolute non-sense. Now that I got it off my chest, I feel so much better!!! Love you all and hope you all have a great day!!!

    MM

    PS I didn't know Mike and Jenneh had law backgrounds too!! How many of us are there?
    Saving the day one minute at a time!

    #2
    Tuesday, December 19th

    I'm laughing MM. I really am. I always want everything to be perfect, and then it's not, and I'm stressing over it. And then I'm p**ed because no one thinks it's as important as I do. I'm grinding my teeth down to nubs and telling myself that I'm just fine and happy. And I am fine and happy. I'm not happy unless my plate is overfull. And I'm also a perfectionist about the tree, except that I do use an artificial tree. I don't kill any plants that way, and it's more economical. But it has over 1000 lights on it, individually strung up and down every branch by me. It has garlands of beads and red glass balls (on the inside to give depth). Then, on the outside, handmade (by me) felt ornaments of all kinds--my favorites being the Beatrix Potter ones. So yeah. It's a little crazy. And then there's the collection of Santas.

    And the family? I called my brother in California last night to see what his kids wanted. Did he ask about our family? He is coming to see my mother in Austin after Christmas because he thought she had been depressed. She is thinking of moving to Dallas to be nearer to us, which would be such a relief because we would not have to be making this awful, treacherous drive down I-35 all the time, and he said, "Well, we'll talk about that later," and he practically hung up on me! So I drank more than I should have. What a trigger! I listened to the hypno, the one that says, "Let it go, let it go.." That helped for a little while. I just have to keep running it in my head.

    So, here's to C-day!
    Love, Sophie

    BTW, I loved your Christmas card, Allie!

    Comment


      #3
      Tuesday, December 19th

      OH the holidays!!%#*&@

      They make me crazy too!! I, too stopped buying the live trees and have a fake one now, not so nice smelling, but cheaper, and not killing a tree, MM I am like you in that respect, cry over killing ANYHING!!!!

      The holidays just stress me out, drink too much during this time of the year due to that, but counting the days til they pass, isn't that sad!? They should be joyous and happy and all that crap!! (Oh I am sounding like a B**ch now!!) I really am not, but just really stressing out trying to get it all done, we only have like 5 days left, right!?? YIKES!:wow:

      Glad I have you guys to vent with though!! Planning to go AF for the whole month of Jan , that is my plan anyway, I have a friend here who has quit for good for like 3 weeks now, don't know how she is doing it, she actually goes to one AA meeting a week, that would not do it for me!

      Haven't had any really big blow-out fights yet, so hope it doesn't come to that, but I have been out shopping every night, not to the gym, my muffin is getting bigger (YIKES again!!) That will be for New Years?

      Love all you sweet people! Thanks for letting me ramble!!:l

      Mary Anne

      Comment


        #4
        Tuesday, December 19th

        Segway! (sp?)...
        Light travels faster than sound...
        that's why some people appear smart, until you hear them speak.

        I'm so easily amused...

        Just wait till Christmas day when I'm burning the S**t out of the turkey dinner! Then I'll be fit to be tied! Just hope I remember to start defrosting it in time...with my luck it'll be burnt on the outside & frozen in the center
        The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

        Comment


          #5
          Tuesday, December 19th

          Hi guys
          I am sorry to hear everyone is slightly stressed/having difficulties right now. It's amazing isnt it? The holidays are supposed to be about celebration, family, togetherness etc. etc. and yet, a lot of what you see when you look in magazines, articles etc. - 'how to cope during the holidays", "how to cope with family this holiday season" etc. Obviously many of us have to deal with this sort of thing.
          I think perhaps we all put too much stress on ourselves to have the "perfect" experiences and happy families etc. and people get stressed when they think they "come up short".
          I have a perfect example from last Sunday. Last Sunday, my mom wanted her, my sister, my father and I to help decorate their Christmas tree/come for dinner etc. Kind of a tradition.
          My mom put on some Christmas music and got the tree ready. Well, my father was absolutely exhausted. He works 3 days a week (10 hours a day) doing consulting (he is 60 years old and an electrical engineer - he "retired 3 years ago but is still working). On Thursday of last week, he went to see his mother (who is 85). He is ripping apart and refinishing/renovating her basement for her. So, he spends all day Thursday, Friday and most of Saturday ripping out walls, painting, lugging things around etc. On Sunday, my mom drags him around the mall to do Christmas shopping. So needless to say, by Sunday afternoon, he is EXHAUSTED. Despite his fatigue though, he does some decorations then decides to let me, my mom and sister finish - but he is in the room watching and talking to us the whole time in an effort to be involved. Well, my mom didnt like that - she kept telling him to get up and help, stop just "sitting around" etc. And we are all trying to still have a festive and pleasant time. But within about 10 mins, we were all annoyed. I keep telling my mom, "look, we are having a nice time, why dont you let him rest - he is still here!" But she wont let up. By the end, my sister, dad and I felt guilty because we didnt give her the day she wanted and my mom was sitting in a seperate room, telling us that she felt ignored etc.

          So, I guess the point is - people have different expectations and often we get disappointed because our expectations are not met. I think we all experience it so I think we all know it's "normal"...I guess we just have to come up with strategies to get through it....just my (way too long) thoughts.
          So, I am not entirely looking forward to family celebratoins (I know, I am horrible) but I find it hard to "please" everyone. And we all know how I am with that sort of thing.
          Anyways, phew, hope eveyone is doing better - I will check in again later.
          And, MM - yes, Fan and I are both lawyers. Are you one as well? I'm sorry if you have said that before- sometimes i cant keep up with all of the posts.
          Did you guys know that lawyers have the highest rates of alcoholism of any profession?. Just an interesting piece of info I came across.
          Hugs all
          Jen
          Over 4 months AF :h

          Comment


            #6
            Tuesday, December 19th

            You are all sooooo great!!!! I am in such a better mood!!! Thank you!!!

            First, my husband has been groveling all morning -- that makes me feel bad, but not too bad!!! (It's a girl thing). Second, I did my prayers on it, and I know that the way I treat him is something I have to work on so that next yom kippur, I'll be able to throw that rock in the river (it's a jewish thing). But he better be careful because he may be tied to the rock! (another girl thing!).

            I was so depressed this morning, my mother showed up to take me to lunch. She made me feel a lot better! First, she apologized about the tree and told me how it has changed her whole attitude about Chirstmas. She said she watched the Christmas specials with the tree in the room and it gave her a lift that she hasn't had in years. Then we wen to lunch and actually had real grilled hamburgers (a bit of sunny summer in a winter that feels like spring). I don't usually have hamburgers even though real hamburgers are healthy if you remove the bun (I didn't remove the bun and we won't talk about the french fries and velvet cake -- also things I don't generally have -- I figured this was a bonding thing). My mother is also buying my husband a VCR for Christmas -- that is why he is really upset over the computer. Our VCR went up and he is afraid he won't get a replacement. You see, my husband doesn't buy expensive things like that. He lets me buy them so that he can complain I'm overspending (that is a male thing). My son called, he is going to be a consulate at the next model UN (JHU). Its some leadership position. He has started a Junior Statesmen Program for the school, and he even asked a girl to join him for Starbucks Coffee (his second date -- original junior prom -- yes, these are great son things). So, I'm going into the afternoon feeling a whole lot better.

            Mary (MKR) - I have not been able to stop laughing about the latkes!!!!! That is soooooooo funny!!!! There is no such thing as a healthy latkes!!! Thank you for sharing that on the thread yesterday!!!

            Sophie &
            Mary Anne -- Thank you for sharing. I am so glad I'm not alone in dealing with this stuff!! Next year, I'm getting a live tree, but it will be "balled". That way I can keep it alive from year to year. One year I did have a rosemary bush. It was so cute, smelled great, but I kept the lights on it too long and so it dried up and died.

            Saint Jude -- OK, here is a turkey recipe that you can't burn and you will get soooo many praises on it. We always have Thanksgiving with our family doctor and his wife; they taught us how to make this turkey. It looks like something out of a magazine. (By the way, if you want to make sure that it is thawed, just buy a fresh turkey). Otherwise, give it two days in the refrigerator or put it out the night before. If you forget, thaw it at 270 degrees for about two hours, soak in hot water until pouch comes out. Ok to cook:

            Use a ROASTING RACK, NOT A BAKING/ROASTING PAN. You want to roast your turkey on a rack, not bake it in a pan. Make sure your rack has a deep drip pan. Get an old white (but clean) man's tea shirt. Cut it to the size of the turkey. Wet it with water and then soak it in extra virgin olive oil. Determine the size of the turkey. Write it down. Rub butter all over the turkey, but avoid the tips of the wings. Salt and Pepper. Stick in oven on rack uncovered, turn to 425 degrees for 20 minutes. cover the turkey with tea shirt, turn oven down to 325 degrees. If the turkey is under 17 lbs, cook 15 minutes a lb. If turkey is over 17 lbs, cook 12 minutes a lb. Every 20 minutes (after first couple of times, its ok if you are late), remove the shirt, resoak it in water and olive oil, cover and repeat. After the first couple of times, there will be juices in the bottom. Use one of those needled bulb suctions to spread juice over turkey before putting soakded shirt over top. Once there is a lot of juice in the bottom, you don't need to re soak the shirt, just remove, baste the turkey with the bottom of pan juices and replace the shirt. Once completed, let stand for 30 minutes. Cut. IT WILL LOOK LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A MAGAZINE and because of the low temp and olive oil - IT WILL NOT BURN!! It is very moist.

            Hope it helps.

            Love you all, hope things go well.

            MM
            Saving the day one minute at a time!

            Comment


              #7
              Tuesday, December 19th

              Jenneh, we were posting at the same time. I have my law degree but because of the type of work that I do opted not to sit for the bar. Originally started in pension/estate planning. Now, I am a political strategist and lobbying consultant. I did do a brief internship in law school for the states attorney's office prosecuting sex crimes of minors and spent some time at the Behavior Science Lab at the FBI in Quantico, Virginia through the State's Attorney. Got to work on some serial-type stuff. I have also written my share of briefs, and I write legislation proposals for the environmental areas in which I work in Congress. But, I do not practice law. What type of law do you and Mike practice?

              Incidentally, I did not know that lawyers had a high rate of problems in this area, but I know its been a real problem on Capital Hill in general -- and aren't most politicians lawyers?!?
              Saving the day one minute at a time!

              Comment


                #8
                Tuesday, December 19th

                Greetings, all--

                Just thought I'd stop by for a moment and send my loving thoughts to all of the beautiful, busy souls in Modsville...

                MM, Sophia and Mary Anne--you guys crack me up about the trees! I thought that I was the only person who was such a marshmallow that the thought of killing a tree was too upsetting! My dad is a WASP and so we had secular Christmases when I was growing up. He always found the most beautiful, symmetrical tree that he could and I so cherished them. Does anyone else find that some pines and firs smell an awful lot like gin and tonics?

                We don't have Christmas trees in our house. We figured that since our kid would be growing up in a racially AND religiously mixed household, and because my husband's Jewish heritage was more closely held than my Buddhist/Unitarian upbringing, that we'd raise our kid Jewish. Not to be cynical but, we're trying to minimize the years of analysis she'll probably have ahead of her after having us as parents.:nutso:

                Anyway, I'm wicked busy at work and so I'd better get back.

                Gypsi, I hold you in my heart.

                :heart: E

                Comment


                  #9
                  Tuesday, December 19th

                  MM, thanks for the recipe! That sounds great! Does the shirt have to be a clean one? LOL. I have some painting rags that a re white. Hee hee.

                  No, Seriously, think I'll try that.

                  I always thought waitresses were the biggest "lushes"...(sorry Molly, no offence)

                  You guys up for a challenge? Ha! My Hubby's a foot taller & I can drink him under the table any day! He's such a lightweight
                  The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Tuesday, December 19th

                    Wow MM- you blow me away with all you have done! You have really made a difference - and I aspire to be like that.
                    I have practiced family law (boo) and personal injury. Right now I am practicing corporate/commercial law but my dream is to get into environmental etc. and really make a difference.
                    You are so fabulous.
                    Thanks for sharing
                    Jen
                    Over 4 months AF :h

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Tuesday, December 19th

                      Hey Jude
                      That's funny - I can easily drink my hub under the table too - but he is only about 2 inches taller. I have had quite a few guys say - "I can't believe how much you can drink". One guy (mind you, he is shorter than me and very small framed) said "If I drank that much, I'd be dead!" - LOL. Sigh. Oh brother.
                      Over 4 months AF :h

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Tuesday, December 19th

                        Jenneh--

                        The first fight I ever got into with my husband was over how much food I ordered in restaurants. He was horrified because he'd never seen "a girl eat so much.":wow: I am eight inches shorter than my husband and I have little bird bones but I've always had quite an appetite. Fortunately, until the past year or so, I never had to "wear" what I ate. Age is changing that . . .

                        I also can drink my husband under a table. My husband claims that it is because of my paternal ancestry, i.e., "WASPS have hollow legs.":nutso:

                        Well, maybe.

                        Anyway, I truly must get out of here because now I've made myself late1

                        Love to all, E

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Tuesday, December 19th

                          ..okay, I always thought it was Moms that had the biggest drinking problems..
                          E--had to laugh at the tree smelling like gin and tonic...Growing up my house was always chaotic on Christmas Eve, as my father always INSISTED on waiting until after mass on Christmas Eve to purchase a tree (so he could get the best deal...was competing with a neighbor on who could get a tree for the best bargain) and we would frantically decorate it..he would be drunk...many times the tree would fall over--because, of course, the tree had to be enormous and the needles were all falling off because it was the last one left on the lot---we woud get yelled at for not decorating it correctly--the tree would fall over again...I wonder how Santa made it to my house! So---I think your daughter has quite nice parents and your customs for the holidays sound beautiful and simple...quite lovely actually!
                          sm-mary

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Tuesday, December 19th

                            Hee hee, Eustacia, that's how my sister is. She's this tiny little thing that really put the food away! Just not fair @ all! I've been on a diet since High school gymnastics... ie; forever! My hubby can eat forever too, then sit there & complain about being too skinny... I just wanna punch him!

                            Jenneh, if you click on my avatar, you can see how much taller he is. There's a pic of us in Vegas. I think he's slouching, as usual, though.:H
                            The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Tuesday, December 19th

                              Speaking of trees... Tell me I'm not the "laughing stock of the family around here..."

                              Where I grew up (about 8 mi from our house), my Mom & Dad's house, still has a sawmill in the front yard(an operational one, that my Brother runs. He also does his own logging). So needless to say, no shortage of chainsaws or treecutting tools around here... not to mention trees!

                              My In Laws gave us their "fake tree" when they moved to Florida a couple of years ago.(as well as their Great Pyranese!, a bunch of furniture,...etc, but that's a whole nother book)

                              So having a fake tree and living in the Great northwest.... prime timber country...redneck central... well you get the picture!:H :nutso: :no:

                              But hey, they don't shed!
                              The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

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