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**eustacia** · December 21, 2006, 04:00 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Mornin' Glories!

I'm either up really late or really early. My days have lost their margins since I've been buried in dust. I've got a couple of helpers coming tomorrow and for that I am so grateful! I haven't been drinking much, in fact, nothing for over a week. Think it's the dust. Perhaps, a proprietary formula is in my future . . .:nutso:

Tumadre!

I just sent you a PM.

I'm hoping that when we get to CA my husband and we will find the time to drive down the coast. I've never seen Big Sur and my husband mentioned wanting to see it. Of course, with so many relatives in the area, I'll be lucky to get five minutes away from the already planned functions that await us.

Joy and love to all in Mod Land.

:heart: E

**dilayne** · December 21, 2006, 07:37 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Mornin all..off to the dentist...NOOOOT looking forward to it...

so, I went to Once Upon a Time and all I saw was Pedro! We MUST do something about that..he's cute and all...But..anyhooooo

have a lovely day! I'm officially off for the holidays..hoping my recovery will be just a couple of days, then 10 days of JOY!
Namaste!
Dianne

**Beaches** · December 21, 2006, 07:44 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Good morning everyone,
I've been reading a lot and decided to post a note.
Been working pretty hard at moderating. Did great Mon, Tues was not so good, Wed and here I am this morning feeling good again.
Getting ready for my grandparents to come in. They are staying for about a week. Then my in laws and brother and family will be over on Sunday for dinner.
I feel like we are Grand Central Station. Still waiting for the supp's and everything to arrive and can't wait to try my first attempt at being AF.
Have a great day.

**Mighty Mouse II** · December 21, 2006, 07:56 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Good Morning Everybody!!! Tumadre, sounds like you are having a great vacation! My son is off from school for the holiday! He and I are going to re-organize his room, then go to lunch and do some shopping. I am enjoying the holiday time now, so that it is good. My husband is going in to work for the day because there is a Christmas party. Then, he is off until the New Year.

I am loving the past few days!

Eustacia, how is your asthma? Has anyone heard about Hawk? Hope all is well with everyone!

MM

**eustacia** · December 21, 2006, 08:12 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Hey, MM, woman of the galaxy . . .

Hawk got good news! I think she's off somewhere soaking it in.

The dust? It is still here, in everything. It's between pages of books, on the stems and leaves of many plants, on my toothbrush, in storage closets that no one had opened in months. in with my husband's photographic papers. Dust is my nemesis. Unfortunately, I am the only person in my family here who can stay cool minded about the mess and who can work systemmatically to resolve the issue.

My asthma is bad. I haven't been to the emergency room this week and that is a good sign. I'm doing what I can to protect myself. A face mask, cortisone and powerful air cleaners in every room.

Compared to what some others on this board are dealing with my problem is nothing and I feel kind of guilty ranting this way.

But thanks for giving me the opportunity, MM!

Hugs and love all around,

:heart: E

**soccermom** · December 21, 2006, 08:43 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

E--you just rant away! and on top of it you say you're keeping your drinking to a minimum...proud of you! I know you were anxious about your trip to SFran and the non-drinking..so you'll do great..have a wonderful time.
And Tumadre--sounds like your having a blast. That's what I worry about sometimes..that my memories I'm creating for my kids are that of their mom drinking wine all the time...which I've been doing too much since school has let out! I'm slowly formulating a plan in my mind..trying to get it to take root so that I can get serious about this.
Sounds like a lot of people have lots of visitors and I know it sounds hectic and stressful...but I'm on the opposite end..as we have no family that will be visiting. Sooo--enjoy the rush and whirlwind of the quick visits as it will be over soon. Love you all. sm-mary

**Hawk** · December 21, 2006, 08:56 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Oh My God. It?s Dec. 21. OK ? I have a lot done but I have a lot of loose ends to tie up and I really could not focus on getting together a master plan for the endless stream of people that will be coming here beginning on Saturday. As much as I was downplaying the surgery, I was very nervous. I am relieved that they think (99%) it is benign and I am grateful it it over. As I emerge from my Percoset-induced state today, I realize how much I have left to do and the limited mobility/strength I have in one arm. I guess I have to ask for help. And I stink at asking for help. :no: I just need to sit and make a plan. And some more damn cookies.

Tumadre ? Your trip sounds wonderful and the time with daughters very special. The holidays are high stress events and I do hope the peace you feel carries you through the trying times. Families can be so hard. Stay centered ? keep looking at the PDA when they challenge you! If you happened to see the movie ?Scrooged,? think of Carol Kane telling Bill Murray about Christmas Present ? that always cracks me up.

E ? So glad you are getting some help tackling the clean up. Be careful! Glad to hear you are having AF days. It does make it easier to get up and get done with the stuff that needs to be done. You are a very patient person to be dealing with this mess at this time of year (well, really any time of year, but especially now!) I?m thinking of you.

Di ? Thinking of you and the wisdom teeth today. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible. Get some good drugs, ice and some sleep and then hopefully enjoy those 10 days!

Not Powerless ? Congratulations on the AF days ? that is super! Enjoy the time with your grandparents and the rest of the family. Even though it can get like Grand Central Station, please remember to take some time for you! You have worked hard and its important to take care of yourself. Sometimes I just need to go for a walk or hide for a 15 minutes so the craziness of all the people around me doesn?t undo the progress I have made.

MM ? Thanks for asking ? I am doing well today. Seems to be in the clear! Enjoy the day with your son ? sounds like a nice plan and a great way to spend a pre-holiday afternoon!

SM-Mary ? I?d be more than happy to share some company with you! I do hope you have a great day and I too need to formulate a more concrete, long-term plan?.

To everyone yet to check in, big hello and big hugs! I hope everyone has a great day!:h

**Quiescent** · December 21, 2006, 09:37 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

4 Days 'til Christmas!

Macks, Becca, Preciouspinot, Mojo, Tawny, Lush, Mary Anne, MKR Mary, Soccer Mom Mary, Jenneh, Laura, Judie, Gypsi, Fsophiah, Allie, Mary8305, Eustacia, Hundi, Waves, Trish, Dilayne, Pinkmilk, Mike, Tumadre, Mighty Mouse II, Cheeks, Lilyluvr56 , GermanBrewer, WaitingtoExhale, Bak310,TracyA, Tinkerbell, Skootimom, PaulaW, Hawk, Ivygoodluck, PaulB, Owly, Dove, Denise, Changemylife, NotPowerless, NickC, Bestlifeldms, and Pedro (Did I miss anyone?)
I love you all!

**fsophiah** · December 21, 2006, 09:41 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

I'm a little later signing on today, and it's such a treat watching this round robin of well wishers and this continual involvement. E, my son called last night on skype to double check on the dr. you sent. Once again, I was so grateful for this place. He's determined to try topa, and I'll be able to feel a little easier about his life. He's going to be in Hong Kong for ten days.

At least being on the west coast will give you a chance to clear your lungs. Di, I hope you have an easy time of it with the wisdom teeth. Fan, thanks for being such a cheerleader. Monica, do you ever sleep? Hawk, take it easy, put up your feet, and count your blessings. NP, good to see ya. SM Mary, the sun is out today, hope you stayed dry over there on the other side of Ft. Worth. I wish it would get really cold, don't you?

My mother is coming tomorrow. We're making chili and tamales for the 23rd, out to eat for Christmas eve when my son the musician and his wife go to her parents' house, then rib roast for Christmas day. I still have 30 papers to grade. Some are sublime. Some are slime.

**fsophiah** · December 21, 2006, 09:42 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Thanks so much, Imagine! Merry Christmas to you, Darlin'! Ho! Ho! Ho!

**bestlifeldms** · December 21, 2006, 10:47 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

4 days! Yikes!

I'm not finished shopping.
Still need to wrap.
Out of money.
Need groceries.
Need to bake.
Have to work through friday.
Have given out bonuses to employees but boss hasn't given me mine yet.

But, I still love Christmas! Kids will all be here but one. Son home from Univ. of Hawaii. Having a great time. Going skiing with the boys! I will ignore the list above. LOL!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

:h

Love,

Best

**Mary Anne** · December 21, 2006, 10:50 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Hi all, Hawk, glad you are recovering...............started a post yesterday, then lost it GRRRRRRRR, had all kinds of nice words for everyone in it too, now I can't remember squat of what I wrote

Darn that slow brain of mine!

One thing was to Di, I lost weight w/ wisdom teeth out, just didn't want to eat, but that might have just been me.....another thing was tha I do kill bugs,hate the things (read the rest of the posts from Tues and laughed at how silly we all are!) Don't kill mice though (MIKE!!:H ) you meanie!

Finally done w/ Christmas shopping (I hope!) The stress level has gone down somewhat, but it is still there, all the family issues I know I am going to face this weekend, don't deal w/ them all that well.........

Tumadre, sounds like a blast you are having "bridg over troubled waters",cool song to sing w/ family in the car!! Imagine, Sophie, Gyspi, Jen, SM Mary , MM, Not powerless, everyone else, oh right JUDIE!!:h

I love you all, wishing you the BEST Thursday ever!!:l

Mary Anne.....................there didn't lose this one, sent

**lushy** · December 21, 2006, 11:20 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Sorry this is going to be a downer post all about me. Yesterday was such a frustrating day I am still sitting here crying about it. Not life threatening, but crap I did not need. In a nutshell my work has been really busy something that has not happened in the 10 years I have been doing this, so I usually have much more free time to get stuff done. No such luck. My brother's main gift is hundreds of my grandmother's butter cookies that I make for him. Takes me days to make them all and I am only 1/3 of the way there. Well the power decided to go out AGAIN last night right as I had them all out on their baking sheets so that was a bust. I have three consecutive big meals I have to do this weekend and yesterday I walked into my kitchen to find my kitchen flooded from my dishwasher that decided to break. I really cannot cook at the volume I need to without my dishwasher but I have no choice. We could not possibly afford a new dishwasher until the end of January. And finally, I realized that three of my daughter's gifts which I ordered over a MONTH ago had not arrived. When I checked online they said there has been a delay and they will not ship until the middle of January. And one of them she is asking Santa for and now it will not be here. I guess Santa will just have to leave her a note saying there was a delay? I am frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed, but through it all I am trying, and the key word is trying, to keep looking for the positive of which there is a lot. And trying not to make wine my best friend right now, which it seems to be a little too much.

Sorry to be such a baby, I just needed to vent. Actually it sounds like most of you are doing really well this week with regards to the Christmas stress, so can a couple of you please come over and help me handwash my dishes so I can cook? Thanks in advance!!!! Hugs to all of you.

**Allie** · December 21, 2006, 11:43 AM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21st,

Hello to everyone,
I almost decided not to post today. A big part is that I am currently being bad with my drinking. I hate that such discouragement can come so quickly on the heels of a long period of success. I want so badly to move into a season (which would hopefully become my permanent lifestyle) of abstinence starting in January. It seemed attainable only a week or so ago, and now I am questioning my ability to do anything right at all.

One thing I know, is that I am at a one year anniversary of the most pain I have ever experienced emotionally. Last Christmas was a complete fog of pain which ultimately landed me here in January. I've come so far only to feel like my heart has been ripped out all over again. I even joined another website yesterday that is a support system for those suffering from the same devastation.(thankfully I have no other addictions!) It felt so strange to be on another board because this is the only one I have ever known. I have a completely different name and felt the same fear that I remember when coming here. I cant believe I'm even sharing all this. But this has been my safe place to fall for so long. I am in a fog today just trying to do what has to be done and feel completely detached from life around me. Isnt that horrible? I am sure I will be okay. I even say I'm okay when asked, because I cant even "go there" to say anything else. I've been able to talk about it a little with my husband last night and he was very compassionate. I just wish he could feel what I feel for just five minutes. Please anyone who has my phone number dont call me today because I cant talk. Thanks for listening, it has helped just to come here once again and be vulnerable. And its cheaper than a psychiatrist!

Oh and by the way -- the endless supply of wine is now in my house. My husband's customers all over the country and world are sending us wine this year. Is this the "year of the shiraz?" Good grief. I need to go get a stain out of the carpet.

Love to all,
Allie

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