Wednesday Dec.27th

[lushy]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Another beautiful muffin!!! Precious you are beautiful and look like you are 18. We are such a lovely bunch......

[Saint Jude]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Hey Ya'll!

PP- Hope the office breaks ya back in kinda easy. I'll be back @ work tomorro night.

Fan-It feels like my house is always full of unfinished projects... but never a dull moment. Sorry to hear you're already back @ the grind as well.

Sm Mary- It is ironic to have to hide "not drinking" from someone. I can honestly say I've never had that problem! Oh, & thanks for wondering ... the "blue dress" made for quite the conversation piece @ the party... to say the least! One of the gals kept saying I was over-dressed, (it's backless), so I kept threatening to slide it right off of my shoulders... " saying oh yeah? Is this better?" Good thing there was no tequila! My clothes didn't have to fall off! Ha! Actually I behaved very well considering it was an open bar. Just 3 small glasses of wine, and water.
There where plenty of designated drinkers there...

Sophia- I think your letter idea is a great one. If you're not a "jabber-walkie" like me

Paula- We seem to have a lot more bottles around our house too! Amazingly though, unlike previous years(before MWO), they're not all empty on the first night!

Lush- I guess I can compare my Hubby's smoking habit with my drinking as far as the desire, and craving... Now that's something he's not willing to give up! Don't even think about trying to hide his smokes from him! He's been telling me he's gonna quit since we've met. He has cut down, and doesn't smoke in the house anymore. But it's not like he's missed work because he smoked too much either!

Allie-How exciting to be going back to school! I'd be so nervous... but I'm sure you'll do wonderfully! Also how neat to get to see Beth, Becca & Scott! Can you keep them all there till April? We can have MWO convention! LOL

Hawk- Great to see you! Hope you're having a good holiday.

MM-Great resolution. That's one that strikes home w/me I feel like I expect more from my Hubby than I do from other people, and he's such a wonderful man. I don't show him enough how much I admire & appreciate him. But boy, if I get mad... you bet he hears about it! Bad habit I have!

Precious, You are so pretty!

[Quiescent]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Preciouspinot,

You are gorgeous! Thanks for letting us see you!

[soccermom]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Mike---you are a sweet soul, aren't you!
PP--gorgeous!
Maybe someday I'll figure out how to put my picture on here--but let's not forget it--it took me how many months to figure out how to put an avatar up and than I put up that fake family--very, very sad for me.

Hawk---I think you get the "hiding" of non-drinking--Gosh what odd family dynamics we have going. Just went for a long walk and was trying to figure it out myself---I know that my husband and I have always "enjoyed" alcohol--big part of everything...but you know what--I'm just not enjoying it anymore--or as much---not the hangovers, the guilt, the "bad mothering moments," something's got to give. I think if I were to mention my wanting a change it would force him to look at his own habits--and I know he's not ready for that---hard to explain...so it's just easier to have a glass of wine poured and pretend I'm all into drinking it....this sounds all very lame.....I feel very lame...I think I'll go for another long walk.
mary

[soccermom]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Oh--and big shout out to Laura, Mkr, Tracy A and Gypsi please!

[lushy]

Wednesday Dec.27th

SM, You must stop with the negative self talk. You are not lame. Okay, putting a fake family up as your avatar does fall under the lame category but that was a long time ago and let us now put that behind us, okay? (Although I laughed out loud at the memory of that, sorry). Okay and now I am laughing out loud again....double sorry.....

You need to do whatever works for you. There is always a dynamic in relationships and only the people involved know what that is. I realized I had to acknowledge to my husband that, yes I am aware that I drink too much, because he started questioning the recycling (face turning red here) and I did not want him to think I was clueless as to my situation. Thankfully he never questions me on it and he thinks it is a good thing that I am not in denial that I drink too much. It is the actual not drinking so much that I think is the hard work. And no one else can help us with that except us.

Hey, at least you are getting out for all of these long walks. That is something to be patting yourself on the back for!!! :l

[MKR]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Basically, getting what you want is most efficiently accomplished by pretending you already have it. All of the time.

So, how do you like your retirement fund?

****The Universe
______________________________________

Hi all,

I have missed reading all about your holidays and how everyone is doing. I am catching up with you a bit here today . . . wow miss a couple days you miss a lot. Miss a full week, there is no way to catch up in a hour!

Started with the boulder on one side of my throat the day after that Hannakuk dinner party and progressed to a stomach flu bug thing by last Wednesday. Maybe I would have been significantly better sooner if I had immediately stayed home, just kept thinking I will get past this. This was a super tough holiday as I dragged myself through must do preparations until about Friday afternoon and then basically said screw it to everything else. Slept for hours, my brother and his wife were suppose to stay with us . . . we put them over in my in laws condo since they went back East for a week or so. My husband just kept saying you look so pale and drawn but my brother hugged me and said I was getting as frail as Mom and was going to take after her in my old age. What a horrible image to have as when I hug her I am afraid I will crack a bone or two. Those comments made me feel older than the freakin hills. I do feel better today and even have a bit of an appetite. My mods plan was just not on the radar. Couldn't keep my water down wasn't going to down any alcohol.

MM - I was very sad to read someone misunderstood your positive go getter attitude and took it for self absorption. I find you posts inspiring, thoughtful and full of life. Even if I don't feel super positive in a day I let the Universe give out a positive thought for me as I feel healing and overcoming our addictions is a bit easier if there is a positive light shining out there. Yes, respecting your husband for all of his great qualities and accepting the not so great ones is a wonderful resolution. It actually brings it's own super sweet rewards to the relationship. I happen to know if you put your mind to something, you are unstoppable so I have a feeling your hubby is going to feel quite happy in 2007!

Judie, liking those Radio Shack commercial, bet hubby is super busy this week! Funny momma wine swigging story! A couple weeks ago I was drinking a coke after dinner, (to stay awake and bake cookies) my husband comes up and starts drinking out of it and asks what's in this? I was like, ice, and diet coke, they aren't tough to make would you like me to fix one for you? He was thinking I am sure if she has a coke it is just a mixer. So while he was checking up on me, I still thought it was kind of funny because I never remember him doing that sort of thing.

Which brings us to today's discussion - telling or not telling those close to us. No one realized I had a real problem. Other than an occasional wine out at some function or dinner party, I only drank at home. I did tell hubby I was doing this program after 7 weeks in and I got the CD's tough to keep those from him. I had already been ABS and simply said, wine has been giving me a headache lately when offered a drink during my ABS time. It took a few different times explaining when I had a drink that I was on a moderation program and please let me be. Now over 8 months later, he simply sees I don't really drink too much or too often anymore. Not sharing with anyone else.

Lush, I understand what you are saying, if someone doesn't have any addiction what so ever, how do they know what it feels like to conquer it? You are always one of my biggest inspirations here!

Hawk sweetie, feeling better now? Mobility back yet? Physical therapy sessions or not quite so bad? Our real estate market is hopping this past week, ran into two other realtors we knew this morning at the title company. They were getting offers on Christmas day even. Hope it is working like that for your area!

PP, You are gorgeous!! thanks for sharing!

Fan, Great avatar! Your son sounds cute! Glad you had a wonderful time with the kids. yeah I can not wrap my head around work today. Yech!

Sm Mary, I for one think you are doing very well, a plan will probably ensure even better results. Christmas decorations down so sooooon! Is that because you had them up right after Halloween? Or was that your cards our sweet majestic Lush? On the hiding the not drinking, I totally understand. My hubby pulled the rug out big time when I first told him and I think he was afraid I would be asking him to change.

Sophia, I use to write letters to my husband before he was on his depression meds. I could formulate what I wanted to say a bit better and edit out the nasty comments that don't take a couple forward. Your emails were a great idea.

Paula, definitely many more bottles around our house also, ditto on Judie's MWO comment!

Allie, great way to get back into the swing of school. It will be exciting. We are all proud of you and want to hear about your days when you get a chance.

Rachele, how did your candles go over? I bet they were a huge hit! And the rest of your holiday?

Jen, Gypsi, Laura, hows that tan? Eustacia, Di mouth ok? Everyone else, hope you had a great holiday and are resting.

Hugs and Love,
Mary

PS: Judie's one year anniversary with MWO is right around the corner. Congratulations!!

[soccermom]

Wednesday Dec.27th

I know, I know---negative self talk is destructive---one more thing to work on...it accomplishes nothing to beat yourself up. Just being here and knowing that things need to improve is an improvement..(that's not too eloquently said..but oh well)...
Yes---family dynamics are also very personal--I know what you mean...I feel like I'm babbling...
so, let me go and clear my head with a little quick walk.......

[soccermom]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Mkr--you and me were posting at the same time...absolutely great to hear from you!
You are such an inspiration to me! sm-mary

[lushy]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Aww MKR Mary, I am sorry you were sick over the holidays so much. It sounds like a lot of us around here were but you sound like you really got hammered (no alcohol pun intended). And then to write such a thoughtful post addressing everyone??!! You are superwoman. I hope you are on the mend, and I send you much, much love. You always warm my heart, even through the internet.

P.S. Laughed out loud at the "Ice and diet coke, they are not hard to make, want me to make you one?" :H

[Saint Jude]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Make mine a double!:H

Hope you're feeling better MKR!:armsaround: :danthin:

[MKR]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Thanks SM Mary, Judie and Lush. I sure appreciate the great loving thoughts!

I want to share my favorite present, it started when my boys were 4, in K2 made the sweetest construction paper Santa Claus'. My oldest's one was a "superman body type" Santa with a long beard, not much frills. My youngest came home with his three years later it was a plump happy Santa with cotton ball chaps on and tons of frills. These proudly get put on the frig every year through the holiday season. Couple years ago while the boxes were outside during a garage clean up they got rained on and the Santa's face got red coloring running down them, I was needless to say for all mothers here, really upset. Last year, I placed everything super organized in plastic boxes in their own boxes. Somehow some wax melted over stuff and just ruined those sweet Santas. I was absolutely heartbroken now and told my youngest what happened. I didn't think he understood just how much they meant to me . . .

Kids brought presents over and just before I opened one, my oldest said, I think you are really going like this one. I opened a large dress box and there were two Santas in there one from each guy now 20 and 23. Looking a lot like the ones they made as babies. I started laughing and crying. I now have 4 Santas on my frig!

[Saint Jude]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Ooooh! That is just too sweet! You have obviously done an amazing job raising those guys!:h :l

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Wednesday Dec.27th

soccer mom

we should talk!!

I spent my whole life being the "perfect" mom/wife. I get the whole "how do I act now that I am not drinking" thing...like...I never let anyone know I had a problem so....now...if I act differently, how do I explain my different behavior without admitting a problem? I have been there...done that. Don't know how you should talk to your husband....but my advise is the truth is best..because this is going to be a life long issue (sorry)...with others...they don't notice or care as much as you think they do...

anyway...I hope to get to know you more..think we may have more in common than we realize.

[lushy]

Wednesday Dec.27th

MKR, that is BEYOND the sweetest story I have ever heard. I want to cry. You have raised such a great family it sounds like. That is just soo sweet. XOXO