Wednesday Dec.27th

[Preciouspinot]

Good Morning to all! Today I'm back at the office trying to get my bearings. I'm now realizing how much work I left to get done after Christmas. Time to roll up my sleeves and get some paperwork accomplished. Hope everyone is well and rested after the hectic season. I'll check back in later.

[soccermom]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Good Morning All! Hope everyone finds themselves rested?? I myself am ready to rip down all these Christmas decorations and set some goals for the new year. As I am off this week I have time to read all over these boards and I really think that I am formulating a plan for some mild success--or at least to get me out of this holiday rut that I feel like I am in as far as drinking too much. I think having too much time off and the "holiday" excuse to drink is not a good combo. Reading posts like Andy's "I had a Friend Once" and Oh, that wise MikeUpNorth...not to mention all of my wise Mod buddies helps me realize that goals must be set.
Now--how ridiculous is this: I think I am going to have to hide my NON-drinking from my husband---WHEN I incorporate these much needed AF days in--so dumb..so dumb...oh, the games we play! Because I am not ready to sit down and explain to him that I feel like I drink too much! Which I do!
By the way---Judie---I never did get a chance to comment on how beautiful you must have looked for your party with your blue dress! I love a great deal and I bet you blew them away!! Love all of you so much.
sm-mary

[fsophiah]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Mary--Here is what I did. I sent an email to all my husband and children. I wish I had it handy, but I said that I had decided to address the problem that I had with alcohol by using this program. This, I said, was something I was hoping I had their support in, but it was not a matter of discussion or debate. It was my decision and mine alone, and I hoped I had their support. I did this because my husband is a recovered alchoholic of 20 years sobriety. I knew that none of them would understand a program in which modereration was the goal. As it turned out, they all emailed me back, saying they supported me, except my son in Japan, who said I should do AA. Then, later, he decided to quit drinking, wanted to do AA and couldn't find a group there (Osaka), and is now wanting to find a Rx for topa. How's that for irony? Here's my advice. This is an important life change. You are not asking his advice. You are telling him what you are doing. It's not a matter of debate. It's your life, and it's your health. You don't need his permission. If you need his permission to do something healthful for yourself, then you need to ask yourself some important questions about your relationship.

[betty boop]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Hi All,

LIke SM Mary, I'm not back in the office till next week :yay: and i'm also trying to plan the New Year. I'm far better than I was last christmas, but our bottle bin is filling up fast again!!!!!! How about telling your hubby that it's a new year health Kick????

Mike & precious, Sooooo Sorry to hear your back at work :l

Hi to fsophiah and everyone else still to come.

Love & Hugs to you all

Paula xx

[lushy]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Morning everyone!!!

This is a good topic I do not think we have covered yet, at least not in a long while. Do we tell those closest to us or not? I really believe this is such an individual decision because I know for me I do not want the scrutiny when and if I go out with friends so I plan to say I am cutting way back to lose weight. With my husband I have said to him in the throes of a hangover that I know I drink too much and that I plan to cut way back in the New Year. He is a nondrinker so it is akin to him saying he will cut out eating chocolate. I don't get having an issue with chocolate in the first place so I cannot understand how difficult it would be for him so therefore I cannot get too emotionally wrapped up in supporting him. Does that make sense? I have fallen short too many times with goals I set for myself with regards to drinking (hence why abs makes much more sense but I am not willing to do that YET) that for me to blurt my goals out to people in my real life is just too much stress.

I agree though that the excuse of the holidays has been killer for me. And that is just what it is, a stupid excuse.

Love you guys. And Fan, love the avatar. Hey, where is Tracey and where is Laura??? Have a great day.

[Allie]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Hello~
I know I havent posted much with all that's been going on with me personally, but I'm feeling better and the world is a little brighter now. I'm also realizing that as part of my new year and the life and schedule changes that it holds, I will not be able to be connected here at the level that I have been. I think that this new year for me will entail strict discipline on my part to really work the program, keep all the supplements - especially the ones I find most effective for me stocked up, really incorportate the CDs as I am on and off with those, etc. I think I have relied more on relationships here than I have the actual program, and I know that has to change. So I will probably be more of a "pop in" to say hello here than a daily check in. I start school on the 8th, so I plan to pour my energy into bringing positive structure back in my life, as I have been off work since June after selling my business. I'm looking forward to it.

Also after much discussion with my husband and guidance counselor at the college, I have chosen to only take two classes this semester rather than a full load. In cramming for the placement exam, I have realized how much I've forgotten (can we say EVERYTHING?) and since I have to start off with Algebra and English, I really need to be able to give it 100% and make an A. My counselor feels that once I knock out the drudge classes that are harder for me and get into what I'm really going to school for, that I can bump my load up to full time, hopefully in the Fall.

So that's whats happening with me -- OH, and guess who I get to spend New Years Eve with?? Beth (Bak310) and her husband and my husband and I are all meeting up in Orlando for the night and Beth and I are currently trying to find an awesome fun thing for us all to do New Year's Eve. I'm so excited --- she will be the first person I have met "in person" from here. Then the first weekend in February, Alec and I are meeting up with Becca and Scott down in Naples for the weekend. I'm so excited to finally get to meet two people who have walked with me along this journey for so long. I wish I could meet all of you. :h

Have a wonderful day
Allie

[fsophiah]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Allie, I've so admired the way you have brought your virtual and "real" lives together. I would love to think that that sort of thing could actuallly work. I, too, sometimes think I need to spend more time actually working the program, exercising, taking it all seriously, and less time with the drama here. The problem is, you start to care. When I think to the Northwest, I think of Judie, and when I think of Florida, I think of Allie, and when I think of...on and on and on. It's like having the world at my fingertips. I read a post by Judie, where she said she got a globe for Christmas, and she spun it and her finger came down on Australia. Australia isn't just a country anymore. It's a place where we have family. So it's hard to detach, in a way.

[betty boop]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Fsophiah - you're right we have extended family all over the world.

Allie, glad that you're doing OK, You've just reminded me ............. I'll be in Florida in 7 weeks and 6 days!!!!!!! Not that i'm counting :H :H

[Allie]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Sophia,
I feel the exact same way --- that when I think to the Northwest I think of Judie and Lush, California is Lucky, Mike in Wisconsin, Becca in Ohio, and Beth and Precious in my own state of Florida, but so far south of me.... and yes, Australia will never be the same after being a part of this site. My heart has become so attached to everyone and I think you all have seen that this past week. Beth and I were on the phone last night and we sounded like two giddy school girls bubbling with excitement about a sleepover or something! If you havent talked to Beth in person, you dont realize how bubbly and full of life she is! She has such an outgoing, fun, positive personality and I feel like I've known her forever. We often talk about how we wish we could be next door neighbors. But then we realize that would probably be dangerous.... we would have codes. "Ah Beth... could I borrow a cup of sugar?" Interrpretation: "Do you have any wine at your house?"
So we will accept that it is better that we are not neighbors, but will make the most of the opportunity to celebrate New Year's together.

And Mike.... how I wish I could give all your kids a huge hug... that's really strange to think they will passing right by me. Are they flying or driving?

Paula, I didnt forget you are coming in 7 weeks.... be sure to remind me when the time gets closer. Who knows... I might be able to shoot down there for a day and say hello! Its only two hours from me. I also have tickets for another visit to all the theme parks that I have to use by March 15th.

Later taters,
Allie

[Preciouspinot]

Wednesday Dec.27th

As far as telling other people.. I told my husband but, I was pretty good at hiding my problem and he supported me but never understood the extent of my turmoil....now when he sees me with my wine he gives me comments and yesterday told me that he has only heard of AA working...not in a mean way...just a sort of matter of fact way...I told him to read the research and then he could have an opinion...not in a mean way...just a sort of matter of fact way. I told one of my younger sisters that I'm on the program and to my close friends I say "I'm moderating my drinking these days." with no other explaination than that.

In the New Year (although I refuse to call it a "resolution") I will be more diligent with my program, especially in the area of exercise. I am also considering the Topa but, am still on the fence about that one.

[lushy]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Sometimes I think I am nuts because you guys are showing up in my dreams. Some of you I know what you look like from pictures on here, and others I just have ideas of what you look like. I had a really random dream the other night and you were all sort of in and out of it and I woke up thinking, "Yep, I am spending too much time on the boards."

Speaking of which I think I need to start a contest to see who will become the second Senior Member. There are a few contenders, Fan and Jen being two of them, and I will have to find a crown for the winner.

MKR, where are you? Did you have a nice holiday? and I keep forgetting to ask Rachele, did your husband get a new job yet?

Allie, smart move to only take two classes. A full load would be so overwhelming I think. Good luck with it all.

[Hawk]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Hi everyone –

Just spent some time (OK, a lot of time) catching up on all that has been going on. Phew – miss a day here and you miss so much! It sounds like everyone had a wonderful Christmas and mods went pretty well. I do well in that regard too. The last group left my house last night and I am exhausted! I enjoyed the holidays, but now I am so tired. I think a “down day” will help reenergize me. We have a party to attend on Friday and then a later afternoon football game on Sunday. Hopefully we’ll have a nice dinner after the game and go home and end NYE at home. We do have an invite to a party but I really don’t want to go. It just seems like every idiot on the planet is out on NYE. I have always felt it was overrated. Bah Humbug!! Oh well…..

I want to cut down significantly – made even AF for January. SM Mary – I know what you mean about hiding non drinking days. I think my husband would be happy for me to have them and wouldn’t think twice about joining me and at the same time would he wonder why I am not drinking? Weird! I haven’t told anyone about this site or program. I am not sure why – maybe because I don’t want them to see me fail or bec/ I haven’t committed to AF or mods either way. I do know that it has helped me beyond measure and I drink significantly less.

The love and support here is a huge part of that and I am grateful. Love you guys.

[Mighty Mouse II]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Everybody has such wonderful things going on!!! I, too, think it is great when the "virtual" and the real come together. While I have not met anyone, I have come to love everyone so much.

I also think that it was a great topic to talk about whether or not we tell our "significant" others. I did tell my husband because I tell him everything. But I also told him that it was experimental and I wasn't sure that it would work. I also told my mother and eventually my father because if I didn't tell those close to me it wouldn't work, especially my alcoholic father who throws drinks at me all the time. They all accepted it very nicely.

But one warning to those who have not done it yet. You have to realize that whether you tell them or not, they are going to have the same up-and-down momentum that you experience during your recovery. We all talk a lot about how moderation is an up-and-down, hopefully on an upward trend. Well, too, will it be for those around you whom you love. Right now, moderation is working for me, but my husband is having a real hard time realizing that he is no longer the brunt of my anger at the world. When I treat him nicely, he acts like an abused dog and lashes out. Slowly, though, recognizing how cruel my words have been to him over the years, I am determined to make him feel like the speical person that he really is and to recognize how strong he is, and how I couldn't have come back into such full force without him. It is not going to be easy because I'm sure it will take time for him to realize that it is for real this time and not like so many promises made in the past -- that fell by the wayside as I sunk into my bottle.

Wish me luck, it is one of my New Year resolutions -- a big one for me as I love him so much.

Wishing all of you a great and Happy New Year.

[soccermom]

Wednesday Dec.27th

All great advice --I know it is such a personal decision to tell those closest to you. It does make a lot of sense that I fear failure, thus would not want to share my descision to change my lifestyle. I would not want anyone giving me those looks of, "um..I thought you were trying to change your evil ways!" No Judging ME! I like the idea of a letter--maybe someday.
I also feel such a connection with my friends here...never in my life did I think I would be part of a board where I would feel such a bond with people. (In fact, I think I may have made fun of people that might have done such a thing..and now look at me!) I truly can visulize you all...hurt when you hurt..pray for you..think about you..celebrate your victories! I plan to work this better as well! Last night was a good night and there is nothing BETTER than a day where you just feel great because you didn't overdo!
Allie---sounds awesome that you will meet Beth and Becca and Scott--how fun!
Our connections run deep and for that I am thankful! I thank God for you all! sm-mary

[Preciouspinot]

Wednesday Dec.27th

Ok, I finally figured out how to put my picture in my profile. Now you can see what I look like