Monday January 8

[Bookish]

Monday January 8

Fan, I am sorry you are feeling lost today. Your post got me a little teary eyed.

I sabotaged myself this weekend. I had a highly emotional week for me and I just blew apart on Saturday night. Finished a bottle of wine, I didn?t even want and then started on the hard stuff on Sunday morning, because I felt so bad. Sunday is always my hardest day of the week and if I don?t make some kind of plan, I end up getting just trashed. I woke up disappointed this morning, but ready to get back to it.

Laura

[Saint Jude]

Monday January 8

Hey Mike, sorry you're having a bummer of a day. Wish I could help. Do let us know, if there's anything. Sometimes it helps just to get it off your chest...

Hope your day gets better.

Congrats to everyone reaching their goals! That's awsome.:goodjob:

MKR Mary, I hope your roof holds up. That's a lot of weight... and a lot of shoveling. Boy, I sure don't miss that. I had 71 steps dug out of the hillside where my treehouse was, that I had to shovel after every storm.. as well as the footbridge, and the roof (it wasn't flat, but the snow stuck to it) No wonder I used to be in good shape!


Yep, my passport is expired too!

[Saint Jude]

Monday January 8

Hey Laura,
At least it's not raining! I'm guessing it's not where you are if it's not here... It's a new day. Get back up on that horse... I sure wish I had a horse to ride today.

Speaking of, haven't seen Mary Ann in a while...

[Bookish]

Monday January 8

Thanks Judie and yes it is chilly, but pretty here. Sorry I don?t have a horse to loan, I?m kind of a cat person, even big dogs scare me.

To put things in perspective before MWO I would have spent some of last night asleep on the bathroom floor and would have missed work today. Granted I was a little slow this morning, but this doesn?t happen very often and I have not missed a day of work due to drinking since July. Had to give myself a little pep talk. Ok, done now.

Have a good day all.

Laura

[Waves 2]

Monday January 8

Hi Laura,
I can't beat all Fan's smilies so I won't try. However, I know you you are doing so great. I have found it very difficult since Christmas and Sunday is always hard. I think you are doing awesome.:l

Love Waves

[InnerStrength]

Monday January 8

Laura
You're awesome. I have found it really really hard since Christmas too.
Sigh.
jen

[Saint Jude]

Monday January 8

Laura, I know what ya mean about the perspective of before...MWO

I haven't called in sick, dead, or drunk in over a year! It used to be at least 2 times a week!

Thanks for the reminder, don't wanna go back there!

You know... one of our dogs is big enough, I could just about go ride him around! He's a Great Pyranese. Weighs about the same as I do. I'd still
prefer a horse though.

[Beaches]

Monday January 8

Fan wrote: Well thanks. Not much to say. A several volume novel wouldn't shed much light on the situation.

But I did ask for help. Once .....

~~~~~~~~

This muffin crew can?t seem to decide on destinations?
Then there?s no need, at all, to ask for directions.
(said the man ....)

Just let me drive -- yes yes yes, I know the way,
You gals just lean on back, relax and play.

We?ll turn this way and that way and just enjoy the ride,
I know where I?m going, and you know I?ve never lied.

We?ll know when we get there, any fool would,
Everyone would follow, if only they could.

But now I?m getting tired, this is taking longer than I thought,
I was just so certain I?d find the place we all sought.

Could it be? Is it possible? That I am lost?
Have I misjudged? Misdirected? And oh at what cost?

I am what I am, I guess, for everyone to see,
And I shouldn?t be driving, but instead saying ?help me.?

So carry on with your journeys, I?ll follow along,
And just enjoy the feeling of knowing I belong.

Quite powerful Fan. Thanks and remember you can vent anytime. I find myself just sitting back sometimes and letting people help me as well.

[dilayne]

Monday January 8

Hiya Mike! You know I'm really into Eckhart Tolle these days...husband too. He talks about being where you are and accepting it..sounds like you are doing that. Not judging it...only through the acceptance can one tanscend it..soooo, I'm sending you lots of loving, gentle 'space' to encircle the 'mood' ...to let it just be. And knowing fully that you'll come out of it with the love and compassion, that I suspect, grew from that very spot ((hugs))
d

[eustacia]

Monday January 8

Greetings, all--

I wish that I could die. My family is back in NYC and my husband is back in his gruff NYC mode. He is on his way here. I called him three times today and told him that I could not handle any more of his hostilitily. He was too busy to speak with me except once for about 30 seconds and he just told me that I'd have to find somewhere else to live because he was going nowhere and then hung up on me. Our kid is coming home with him. I am completely falling apart. I cannot handle being around gruff people. I just drank about 3 ounces of wine. I don't want to drink anymore.

I could fearlessly jump off of the roof but I cannot do that to my child, even though she'd still have her father and even though she said yesterday that she does not like me. I believe that she does not like me. I am the only person who sets any rules or guidelines and she resents it. I am getting called in to her school (again) because she is completely undisciplined.

I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just disappear. I feel completely without hope.

[lushy]

Monday January 8

E!!!! Stop! Sit down! Breathe!! I am so sorry for your situation. Have you tended to be the passive person in the marriage so he thinks he can continue to get away with being an ass? I understand the dad and daughter against the mom issue as it is sometimes like that around my house, but I am lucky that I get a lot of alone time with her when he is at work. But I am by far the bigger disciplinarian and I can be pretty strict. I am sure you have, but have you done therapy with your husband? There has got to be something underneath all of this pain and rage and his disrespectful attitude that maybe could be openly and honestly talked about with a third party, instead of the two of you being angry and defensive.

I am sorry, but please do not consider hurting yourself. There has to be an answer. He sounds like he is mean and he is turning your daughter against you and that is nothing short of child abuse. Please, please, please, do not do anything drastic. Keep us posted on how you are okay? Big loving hugs your way!

[Beaches]

Monday January 8

Oh geez Eustacia I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I'm sure that your daughter loves you very much. The daughters always seem to migrate more towards the daddy's...mine does as well because I am more of the disciplinarian too.
Why is your husband being so hostile towards you? You are such a wonderful caring person. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

[Preciouspinot]

Monday January 8

Eustacia...now is the time to be strong for your daughter and yourself and you are worth standing up for!! Kids will be kids and say stuff like that all the time to the disciplinarian in the house. Most of the time it's us the mothers who take on this role. I'm positive your daughter loves you very much but, right now you are feeling vunerable and are not thinking clearly. Please keep us posted as we are worried about you.

[sammys]

Monday January 8

Hey, Don't let that man get to you this bad. My mom told me oncethat if she lived with my boyfriend she would drink to. It's the stress that triggers alot of us. I have a feeling that he is feeling fine right now and you are miserable. That is baloney- we are here for you and wish we could do more.

Sammys

[Allie]

Monday January 8

E -- I dont know what to say, but echo what the others have said. I just dont know what is going on, but I DO know that you will not continue to feel this desperate and hopeless. Just KNOW that. You always have such wise and encouraging words for me when I am at my lowest places, so that in turn lets me know that you have such a wise head on your shoulders and that you will come through this! We are here for you and this is a good place to come and vent and rant! Maybe that is just what you need to do right now! Be easy on yourself... daughters can be so lovely cant they??

Big hug...:l
Allie