Reality

[Beaches]

So tonight we went to the kindergarten that our twins will be attending for a parent/student program that prepares them. Tonight was for parents only. The teachers talked about what would be expected of the students and of the parents and as I sat there I thought about my son who has autism. I signed him up thinking this would be an excellent opportunity for him to get to know the class, teachers and other students. Then as the night went on I started realizing how much I would be setting him up for failure. How overwhelming it would be with all the people and the new environment and routine. Each day I talk to his teachers and hear how great he's doing and how far he's come and I am so excited for him and then I go into a situation like this and realize how very far we have yet to go. It's not a bad thing...just an eye opener.
Thanks for letting me talk and by the way ...my daughter is going to love this program.

Take care.

[Beaches]

Reality

Not sure why I posted this other than to get it out in the open as to how I was feeling and to see it written. I know there really isn't a lot of room for anyone to say much but thanks for giving me the place to even be able to talk non sense

[tawnyfrog]

Reality

... and there's someone here listening to you. Thanks for letting me.

[lushy]

Reality

NP, It does sometimes feel good to just get things down in words and I am glad you did. I can only imagine the challenges and the emotions you experience when realizing you need to teach your child a little differently. It would really tug at my heart. Hopefully you have exchanged words and advice with the other members on here who have children with autism. And he is a twin? I have a friend who is experiencing the same thing with her twins; one is ready for his grade and the other has serious ADHD that needs addressing but she is scared to make him repeat a grade next year because of the twin issue and how it might affect him. I know you will make the right decision, whatever you do.

[sammys]

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NP, I think all great mothers worry about their children. I glad you posted your thoughts, thats what we are all here.

Have a good nite
Sammys

[Beaches]

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Yes he is a twin and I am worried about separating them too because one of his goals throughout the years (he started services at 13 months) was to interact with his sister. She has been with him all the way because I have put them in integrated settings from Early Intevention to preschool The autism program that he attends is integrated. I am very worried about separating them. Many tell me it's my own issue though. UGH I guess I don't transition well either.

[Quiescent]

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Leave it to us to find something to say:H

We're here for you NP.....lay your burdons down anytime you want to:l :l :l

[Preciouspinot]

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I have a son who is ADHD and I placed him in a school that had alot more structure and routine and where he could be seen by a speech therapist and an occupational therapist while his older brother went to a "fancy" Montessouri school. I felt extremely gulity at first but, in the end it was the best thing I could have done. Had I put him in the Montessouri as well, I too knew I was setting him up for failure. He has now overcome his hurdles and he has moved on to a mainsteam school but, in the begining he needed that extra one on one attention in a learning environment.

[betty boop]

Reality

NP please feel free to share anything with us, I'm sure you will make the right decision.

Love & Hugs, Paula :h :l :h :l

[brookhaven222]

Reality

NP,
I have a son who is dyslexic. He has been in a school for 2 years that specailizes in dyslexia. It was so difficult to move him from the school my others were in, but it has made a HUGE difference in his self esteem.
He will go back into his regular school next year. Back with his siblings and all his friends. It was a tough decision to make, but it was the best for him. Looking back, it was harder on me!

[MKR]

Reality

Dear Not Powerless,

So sorry to hear about the situation and the tough decisions ahead. I have heard that twins are not ever really separated in spirit even when they are physically apart, if that helps calm your separation of twins anxiety. I wish you peace in any decision you make and a fully wonderful learning situation for both of your children.

Hugs and Love,
Mary

[tumadre]

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NP-
It is very tough when we're trying to figure out the "best" way to go with our children. That's why I finally pulled my daughter (at 15) out of public school and have now home-schooled her for 1 1/2 years. She's a different person now...But the decision was not made overnight, and met with a great deal of resistance from her and from other well-meaning friends and family. The most difficult part is trying to figure out what is our issues and how are they affecting our decisions...I've become better at realizing what my intuition is saying and listening to that. It has been quite the journey, and continues...
I wish you peace and clarity-
Tumadre

[Mary Anne]

Reality

NP

We are all here willing to lend an ear, my kids seem fine, but one has introvert issues(no friends etc) all he wants to do is "look at his plants" Don't know what to do about that as he is 15 and this is the time in his life he should be socializing more?!

I think you are an AWESOME mother(as we all are!) and whatever decision you make, however difficult, will be the best...............you can always change your mind if you have to also.

Much love to all!!!:h
MA

[lorisunshine]

Reality

Hi NP,
sometimes we have to make tough decisions, but I think if you go with your guts, it will turn out alright.
We brought our daughter back to our community from another school, because we thought she could socialize with the kids she grew up with. Big mistake. It became so bad, we were afraid she would do something to herself.
I then made the diffucult decision to send her to a private school, where she could only come home on weekends. To her it was the end of the world as she knew it. In the end, it was the greatest gift we could have given her, even if it just about killed us financially.
Today, she is a wonderful, well adjusted and loving young woman.
Just go with your guts. Nobody knows your son like you do.
It will all turn out.
Love Lori

[Mighty Mouse II]

Reality

NP, and all others here who have shared their thoughts and concerns regarding their children; my thoughts and prayers are with you. I think it is great that you carefully cogitate what is best for them. ALL children are our future. Nobody is perfect, we all have special gifts to give and special needs. NP, parents like you and others here, who recognize those needs and carefully analyze and help them in the best you can to find solutionss are very special super heroes because as they grow, their special gifts that they can share will come out and they will be able to deal with any problems that might have otherwise interfered with their talents.

I also appreciate your sharing this information because this is a forum designed to allow us to speak out on those issues that create emotional concerns for us, as many of us drink due to those concerns (or the pressure thereof). Being able to share those thoughts and concerns and receive loving support is what makes this Board so successful.

I applaud your "super parent" heroism in having the love of your children to be concerned and your strength to share it with others.

Love,
MM