Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

[grangelady]

Another Saturday night and over indulged yet again - 2 bottles of wine and a very large JD and coke at least I think it was 1 can't remember!!!

Today Sunday I've spent most of the day searching for help to control my intake, back to MWO forum and reading about the different meds that people have tried, then found the Sinclair Method website and started reading up in Naltrexone - I won't go to my GP and admit my dirty secret so contemplated buy meds online - but this makes me scared because of taking un-prescribed meds

No wine in the house and haven't sent hubby out to get any - had another serious talk to myself and am going to try once again to control the amount of wine I drink, so today is AF will try to do the same tomorrow - need to take it one day at a time.

I keep looking for a pill or therapy that will help but I know deep down it needs to come from inside me!

So i vow to log on to the MWO forum every day and get the support I need and know I'll get here - Wish me luck :wavin::wavin:

[available]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

good luck GL. I know how you feel, i had a binge weekend, the heat i put it down too, not the need to get shitfaced blind drunk. im like u 2 bottles and god dont we pay for it the next day. I am going on holidays soon and my plan is to make a concerted effort once i return home. I too am like you about buying meds online as god forbid my dr would understand and that would cause a panic attack if i had to tell him that one. let me know how it goes with the meds if you get any.
take care and good luck. this is a great site.

[mario]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

Grangelady a lot of people before they decide to moderate give themselves a 30 day absence goal, just to see how it feels? Then if you can manage that ok, you can decide whether to keep going with it, or not, the choice is yours.

The difficulty with cutting down of course is that all your best intentions tend to dissolve after the first few drinks ? so a self-imposed limit is easily ignored with a slightly inebriated justification (?oh I?ll do it tomorrow instead?, ?I had a really hard day today, I deserve another one?, ?oh he?s opened another bottle, it would be rude of me to refuse? etc.)

Delaying the time you allow yourself to start drinking is one way to make cutting down easier. If you have less time for drinking, then perhaps you?ll drink less quantity (that?s the theory). A drinking diary can also help you keep track of how much you've actually had over the week.

How much you drink also tends to be a product of how much alcohol you purchase. So one obvious step is to not buy quite so much. Make sure you don?t keep any drink in the house ? just buy it as you need it. That way the choice to drink has to be a conscious decision. Don?t forget, for this to really work you?ll need your partner to agree on the plan, so they don?t buy any either, unless you both decide to.

There?s a third option too ? a combination of cutting down and giving up ? just staying sober for a day or two at a time every week. It?s better than nothing, and you?re getting used to dealing with life without drinking. Try and plan which days you?re going to do it in advance, and plan to do something else incompatible with drinking perhaps. But be careful of the trap of rewarding yourself for your two days of sobriety with, you guessed it, a binge!
Wishing you the best of strenght as luck dont come into it.:goodjob:

[grangelady]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

Thank you Available & Mario for replying..

I am going to take it 1 day at a time. You're right Mario about not buying more than you NEED and starting later.... I tend to buy at least 2 bottles at a time, in case 1 isn't enough, which of course if I start early it never is.

Having had 2 bottles last night today I am AF being on the forum off and on during the day as helped tremendously. Going to start taking Kudzu again tomorrow and resist buying any wine, I will ask my hubby (who also drinks beer every night) not to buy me any when he gets his beers.

Only I can beat this I know but the support of people like you on this site will help me stay focused so thank you again :l

[retteacher]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

gl: Have you thought about reading a little on the abs forum? It has a lot of strategies for going wo/booze...even if you want to moderate. I'm one of those people who cannot drink. I ALWAYS drink way too much. So, I decided permanent sobriety was what would work for me. Good luck w/your goal. Mary

[grangelady]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

Thank you Mary for your words of encouragement.

My plan is to abstain during the week and if I want to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend - then I'll go for it. My aim has always been to control my intake rather than abstain completely.

I personally do not believe alcoholism to be an illness - sorry if I offend anyone with this statement, but I truly believe that people turn to drink to help overcome some emotional situation, whether it be stress, divorce, physical/emotional abuse, financial worries and use booze as an emotional crutch. I think drinking then becomes a habit and craving that the subconscious mind tells us that a drink helped before and it will make your feel better again.

This is certainly what AL did for me it helped me cope with stress and emotional issues I carried from childhood to being an adult.

Through EFT and counselling I have dealt with many of the past issues but I still have some work to do, wine for me now is associated with nice things, cooking a nice meal, relaxing after work, a family get together and its for these reasons that I don't want to give up, but I feel I drink too much and want to have a few AF nights here and there.

I can do it, nothing last night, nothing tonight, don't get me wrong I have little cravings and the reassuring voice of my subconscious is there telling me it's okay if you want a glass, everyone does it, it will make you feel better, don't beat yourself up.... so its down to me to quieten that little voice and not give in to it.

I think these days its so much harder because we live in a binge drinking culture, almost every night on TV there's a documentary following the exploits of people out boozing at the weekend and the things they end up doing, it's not just young people out enjoying themselves that over indulge either, almost everyone I know family and friends all drink most nights and regularly drink too much, its a society we live in.

Oh sorry just realised I was going on a bit there! Sorry just venting my thoughts, if I'm typing I'm not drinking or thinking about it :H

Anyway thanks again xx

[grangelady]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

It's not long I know but....

Okay so I've only got through 2 days and nights but so far I'm sticking to my plan NO wine during the week and wine if I really want it at the weekend!

Small steps not going to put too much pressure or emphasis on not drinking just glad for every day that I do not give in to cravings.

So far no supplements taken, as I don't have any :0) thought I might get Kudzu if I start to feel a bit wobbly, but so far so good, lovely feeling going to bed completely sober, relaxed no anxiety and the thought of waking tomorrow without feeling groggy and angry with myself for over indulging as I normally would, fills me with joy.

Didn't sleep too well last night always the same if I don't have drink, but feeling tired now so hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

I can't tell you how comforting it is to be able to log on to the forum knowing that someone somewhere in the world reads these posts and knows exactly, how it feels....as I said small steps and the very beginning of the process but I know by logging in and sharing my thoughts really does help.... Even if no one listens/reads its the getting down in words that helps - here's to day 3 :h

[retteacher]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

gl: You do not offend in your belief that alcoholism is not an disease. For myself, I know that one small sip would get me started into the type of alcoholic drinking that got me into a mess 3 years ago. It would be a downhill slide for me. I just cannot moderate regardless of how hard I try. I have certainly met people who can moderate, so I'm not close-minded about that. I really like approaching life (w/all its ups & downs) w/a clear head. I spent so many years trying to avoid emotionally charged situations that the sober solution to my problems feels like a refreshing change. 2 days is an excellent start. Please keep us posted. Mary

[grangelady]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

Well done Mary

Mary 3 years is an amazing achievement, many congratulations xx

I am doing okay day 3 and on diet cola tonight :O) although I must admit that it helps not having any wine in the house, but I do feel as though I've regained a certain amount of willpower, sorry to use the W word, because I know that's someting all of us with any type of addition say doesn't exist in us, call it what you will, but we have Jack Daniels (hubby is drinking one as I type) and rum in the house and even though I have no wine I have resisted chucking a gulg of either into my cola!

Normally if is early enough in the evening and I'd polished off all the wine in the fridge I'd have headed off into the JD bottle by now...so I'm pleased with how things are going.

If I can go on like this and just drink at the weekends all by happy, as that is my goal, I just need to make sure I do it week in and week out, rather that a couple of weeks - as I've done in the past.

One wonderful thing is the past 2 mornings, I've woken up feeling happy and positive which normally after an evening of overdoing the booze, I feel hungover and I hate myself for being weak-willed - the feelings of the last 2 days are keeping me focused

You take care :l

[grangelady]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

Well done Mary

Mary 3 years is an amazing achievement, many congratulations xx

I am doing okay day 3 and on diet cola tonight :O) although I must admit that it helps not having any wine in the house, but I do feel as though I've regain a certain amount of willpower, sorry to use the W word, because I know that's something all of us with any type of addition says doesn't exist in us, call it what you will, but we have Jack Daniels (hubby is drinking one as I type) and rum in the house and even though I have no wine I have resisted chucking a gulg of either into my cola!

Normally if it is early enough in the evening and I'd polished off all the wine in the fridge I'd have headed off into the JD bottle by now...so I'm pleased with how things are going.

If I can go on like this and just drink at the weekends all by happy, as that is my goal, I just need to make sure I do it week in and week out, rather that a couple of weeks - as I've done in the past.

One wonderful thing is the past 2 mornings, I've woken up feeling happy and positive which normally after an evening of overdoing the booze, I feel hungover and I hate myself for being weak-willed - the feelings of the last 2 days are keeping me focused

You take care :l

[oldershouldknowbetter]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

Grangelady, great progress, well done you! I read with interests your previous posts because i totally identify with your thoughts, you could be me! Interesting how often that comment comes up on here isn't it?

Interesting too that you mention WW, I'm not a member but certainly struggle with weight issues. I know I eat healthy but that doesn't matter when alcohol enters the calorie count.

I'm 62, hence the name. I guess I've made it through the last twenty years! I began to use alcohol when I had panic attacks and getting tranqillizerss from my GP was problematic. I could just go and buy alcohol, no hoops to jump through. I'm actually fine with what I drink but the problem for me is that I still turn to alcohol with any stressful situation and typically, that involves family gatherings. Well, actually no, that isn't quite right, alcohol, for me has become the way to take emotion out of any situation. Which I like. I know I should feel, I do feel, but I don't know if I do it right.

This February, two years ago, my brother died. He did many descpible things but I forgave him but in spite of everything, he died, bleeding because of alcohol. Apparently my Grandfather did the same. I don't want to believe this is genetic!

So, I will follow your progress with much hope. You will inspire me!!

:l

[retteacher]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

gl: The weekend is almost upon us. I hope you've kept your resolve regarding the week alcohol-free. One of the biggest gifts of sobriety is waking up wo/a hangover & wo/all the remorse. I was a secret drinker, so keeping up the facade was difficult & involved a lot of lying & deception. Not having to live like that is the biggest reward of sobriety.

I too drank to avoid my feelings, conflicts, mishaps, anything negative. Unfortunately, difficult situations didn't disappear because I was drunk through them. I developed a lot of fears while I was drinking. My biggest task in sobriety is to learn how to deal w/life on life's terms. It isn't always going to be easy or fun. I've had a lot of ups & downs in sobriety.

All in all though, I really like being sober. I can be around drinking & not get tempted. Our friends are mostly social, normal drinkers. I was the only alcoholic among them. It's freeing to be able to carry on a conversation & make sense.

Anyhow, good luck. Keep us posted.

Mary

[grangelady]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

Hi OlderShould.. and Mary

Older.... to say I will inspire you, makes me even more determined to succeed, we will do it together, keep visiting this site becuase there is so much support and many lovely people here who will give good advice and give honest feedback.

Mary you have achieved so much in maintaining sobriety, you should be very proud of yourself xxx

I am doing okay AF Sunday-Tues, went out for a meal with my hubby and made a conscious decision to have a couple of glasses of wine but not a bottle as I would normally. Tonight back to AF even there's a half open bottle of white wine in the fridge I am not craving it and have no intend of drinking tonight.

My overall goal is at least 4 nights AF every week and when I do drink to drink in moderation. What I did find this morning after 3 glasses of wine last night I woke at 4am with a headache - it's been years since I had a hangover after 3 glasses, even after 2 bottles I'd only feel mildly groggy - so I was actually pleased that I felt hungover, because this proves that my resistance to alcohol has depleted in just 3 days so imagine what a few months will bring :O)

All the best to you both and thank you again for caring and helping me keep on the straight and now - just having you post on my thread gives me encouragement
GL xxx

[grangelady]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

Morning
A quick update last night Friday, usually my drinking steps up a gear .... Well it is the weekend!

Normally I would get through most of a bottle of wine while cooking our evening meal, would probably start around 5pm - I did think about having a glass from the half open bottle that was in the fridge but talked myself out of it, telling myself I'll save it for later.

Poured a glass about 7pm and very quickly that half bottle was gone. So in true fashion got my hubby to pop out to buy more, which he did!

I did drink more through the evening and although I can't say I was totally in control of the levels consumed I was conscious of what I was doing, I made the decision to have a few glasses last night so I did.

The goal I set myself last Sunday was to drastically reduce my intake and have at least 3 days AF every week, so week 1 goes like this:

Sunday to Tuesday - AF
Weds - 3 glasses of wine out for a meal
Thurs - AF
Friday - 5 glasses
Going for none tonight and Sunday...

So I feel really positive about my 1st week - during a 'normal' drinking week, I'd have got through anything between 7-10 bottles of wine and drink every night - so already by Friday night I'd reached my goal by having 4 AF days.

I will perservere and keep trying to moderate, I'm not taking any supplements/meds just doing it alone so far, but if I feel that I'm slipping back I will start Kudzu, going to buy L-Glutamine today, having read a post saying it helps muscle development and healing following trauma/injury - if it helps with cravings too then it's a bonus!

[Cheeks100]

Sick of IT - so going to try moderating

Hi

Hi Grangelady and all

well done on your first week of moderation. Your situation and goals sound similar to mine.

I have been drinking 1-2 bottles of wine during the week and 2-3 at weekends.

I realise I cant keep doing this. I am not sure if I'm an alcoholic or a heavy drinker (I'm sure the doctor would say alcholic ). I hold down a full time job but rarely drink during the day - well before 5pm anyway

Had my first night AF last night in years - apart from a heart palpitations when trying no get to sleep no other symptoms.

Going to try for the next 2 night AF.

Cheeks :h:h:h