new here

[bear73]

hi there

I have been wrestling with abstinence since Jan - have had many af 30 days and a couple of 3 month stints. i always go back though. I found drinking too much caused me to put on weight, worsened depression/anxiety,kept me smoking, wasted loads of money, missed days at work and wasted weekends feeling truly awful.

I've tried to mod before many times - not successfully - hoping with decent amount of af time behind me now that this will be possible.

I am really focused and am going to be really honest - if i can't moderate successfully for 4 weeks then i cam back to abstinence. i feel so bright physically and mentally af but causing me so much strain wrestling with thoughts of should i shouldn't i drink.

I will drink only at social weekend events - total max of 3 drinks per event.
I'm going to check how i feel inbetween - depressed or sluggish - anxious -weight gain - what has happened before has been 'living to drink' on abstinent days leading to a binge.

Looking forward to meeting you all.

[Today]

new here

Hi Bear!

I can relate to the statement you made "living to drink," that is truly how I felt before I found MWO last August. I too have racked up good periods of AF time and have drank periodically in attempts to mod, or just falling of the wagon binges. Last night (Sat) I had 3 drinks after 33 days AF but to my somewhat surprise don't feel TOO guilty about it. (I poured rest of bottle out after couple hours). I have had days over the last couple weeks where I was tempted to actually leave work and down straight hard alcohol. I didn't plan yesterday, but if I look back I think Friday may have been when the seeds of moderating started. I don't have any plan but think it is wonderful that you do; good luck to you in sticking to it, and going back AF if needed.

For me, I am AF again but will also monitor myself and my feelings. I lost so much weight last fall by becoming AF and eating healthy/working out.. I want to feel good again!

[Lkea666]

new here

I'm on week 2 of modding.

Using the drink tracker has really helped me stick to my goal of 2 drinks a day max. I have 7 days of 0 drinks and 2 days of 1 drink.

Two weeks ago I never would have thought I could do this without constantly wanting a drink, or thinking of how to justify having a drink. . . or 4.

I'm still waiting on my Extreme Starter Pack. I am excited to use the hypnotherapy and supplements to help reinforce my decision to mod.

The part of me that worked so hard to maintain a drinking lifestyle now has a different job - staying sober.

[drinkingal]

new here

"what has happened before has been 'living to drink' on abstinent days leading to a binge."

Hi bear, I don't know if I should be even offering advice since I'm doing a different type of modding (tapering down and working at af days) but what really helped me with my (nightly) binge drinking and wrestling with the thoughts was to create some rules around my drinking. If I feel like drinking e.g. on an af day I reaffirm the rule by telling myself e.g. "you don't drink on a monday",so it's not a discussion and there's no should I/shouldn't I, it's a rule, it's a fact, but it helps me not to fall back into old habits. But if I break a rule I try to think about what went wrong etc and what i can do differently next time. I just thought I would throw it out there in case it helps.