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[LostButFound]

I thought I'd posted but can't find it.
?
So I've missed work before due to hangover and that's my day today, too.
I feel sad, pathetic and weak - not to mention sick.
I missed thanksgiving, too, cuz I over-indulged the night before.
So tired of myself and inability to control myself.
No, it's not everytime I have a drink. There are times I'm good about it. But the times I'm not is what I'm concerned about.

How do I keep myself in check???????????????????????

My neurologist suggested Topamax for migraines. At first I said no - now that I see there is research on it with reducing alcohol craving I'm going to try it. Sad but true.

I'm in a very bad way today; very self defeated, very sick of myself, etc...
Last night I had 3.5 beers in a short span of time, drove (ugh, I know!) and came home to have a glass of wine. I don't know WHY I did all that; I don't know WHY the voice of reason completely goes away after one beer even.

Any help?

[mightymite]

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Hi LBF,
I'm sorry you are feeling down and not well. Are you wanting to become AF or are you looking for ways to mod? Maybe you should try some AF time and see how that goes. It sounds as though you may not be able to mod if, as I call it, "lose yourself" when just trying to have a few. If you are missing work due to your drinking, I think modding is not for you. It is having an adverse effect on your life. Try going over to the Newbies Nest. They will have some wonderful advice for you. There are newbies over there and very experienced people as well that can really help you.

I am a modder so I can't really help too much with being AF. I had a brief AF period but have found that I wanted to pursue the mod life and it is working for me. But I don't encourage that if it is not working for you. Good luck and if you want to talk you can find me on the long term mod site.
MM

[LostButFound]

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Hi MM
Thank you for responding!
I've had success in the past modding. I wonder if people go through highs and lows with this.
I'm going to go AF during lent. I've already decided that I'll allow myself moderation for a few upcoming events out with my family where I normally practice moderation.
I think like anyone giving something up the thought of 'forever' or 'never' is a bit overwhelming, but lent gives me a good start.
I will do my best to stay with this website.
Thanks again!
LBF

[LostButFound]

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Doing better

Gave up drinking for lent.
Took friend out tonight for her 'divorce party'. Had no problem being the designated driver AND so happy not to have been one of the drunk folks!

[Doggygirl]

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Hi LBF. Just wanted to say :welcome: and also let you know that I think your committment to be AF for lent is an awesome start. You are right that "forever" can seem very overwhelming. My thoughts and feelings about alcohol changed a lot in the early months of sobriety. I hope you find as so many of us have that life without AL can actually be light years better than life with it!

Good luck,

DG

[LostButFound]

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Hi all
Thank you so much for your input!! It means a great deal to me.
I've had some very huge stressors lately but practiced mod till last night; while I had quite a bit I was home and am not feeling TOO badly today.
It's almost good because I can judge the difference between completely AF, Mod and too much. I'm happy to say that Mod is the way to go for me right now but even AF hasn't been bad! I'm surprised!!