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Letting it Be

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    #1

    Letting it Be

    Since coming here have made many attempts at doing the 30 day stint; I would call them half a$$ attempts as after a few days, I would conveniently forget my goal. One good thing that's happened is the gradual reduction in my drinking over the years and especially over the past few months.

    Here's the latest decision and I think it's permanent. After reading a lot of new age spiritual books, notably Eckhart Tolle's few, Marianne Williamson's brilliant books, a book called Infinite Self by Stuart Wilde and countless others, I have decided to trust myself to make moment by moment decisions on everything rather than having a goal and failure to reach goal life. That life is over.

    The key to being successful in this new lifestyle is to acknowledge and then let go of the self-critical voice in my head and to practice self love in every decision i make. That being said, i was a half a bottle of wine daily drinker with a little more on the weekends. So my reduction puts me at skipping nights of wine drinking and only drinking half a bottle at social gatherings if that. So I am not dealing with severe alcoholism and if I was, a more detailed, self-disciplined approach would be necessary. I do not make light of alcohol abuse.

    This new approach is a relief for me as at age 55 I need to enjoy my life and stop setting myself up for failure. I must have a little OCD and have to back off trying to be the perfect earthling; eating only the right foods, being regular with my exercise, not drinking at all, etc.

    So I am here today and if it moves me I will be here tomorrow reporting my daily choices if only for me to see that my method continues to work. The last thing I want to do is become a chronic drunk who uses excuses to continue. A bit of self-monitoring is different than constant self-attack.

    Will be back ...
    Tipplerette

    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
    ? Lao-Tzu
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    #2
    Letting it Be

    Just an update: been doing quite well spending more time meditating, outdoors, exercising and less drinking. I have really done well in the area of stopping the ego's nasty voice that goes over my past failures and predicts my future let-downs. But I am still having a drink or two and realizing that I just don't need it. It's still just a social habit that I realize is completely useless. In the spirit on just being me, I am trying to go with the flow and the current flow is not very self-destructive but there is still a part of me that admits that this letting go is, in fact, an excuse to stop trying to stop drinking.

    What I have to decide is how important getting a handle on this issue is to me. I only hesitate to attempt some AF time because of the fact that I've had enough stops and starts to last a lifetime and want to live every day and in fact, every moment being good to me and not punishing myself any more. For example today I had a Japanese beer at lunch time and won't drink tonight as we are staying in. I used to drink every night no matter what. If I was counting days, this would be a failure and in my mind it's just a beer.

    But if being 'just me' leads to some real alcohol free weeks I will be thrilled with my moment by moment decisions and feel that this change in attitude was a success. If it just continues to encourage me to slow down, then so be it. What I hope is that I continue to slow down to a trickle...

    I am down in my alcohol consumption by about 50% from this time last year.

    Not sure what the future will bring but for the moment, I'm still on this path of self-acceptance...
    Tipplerette

    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
    ? Lao-Tzu

    Comment

      #3
      Letting it Be

      Actually my drinking wasn't over as i predicted. We picked up our new car and went for a drive and ended up at a friend's cottage. Three of us shared two bottles of wine and I got quite a buzz. As I was sitting at home later I thought to myself that it would be really nice to just be me SOBER. In essence when it comes to just being me, alcohol consumption sort of nullifies that theory. When i drink I immediately give up the "Me" part of that plan. I see everything from the hazy view of a tipsy person.

      So I am not convinced that this is working. Still happy with the other results as in moment by moment healthy decisions with no self-doubt or attack. That part is great.

      I think the drinking issue has to be dealt with separately. I am just not happy with myself when i have more than one glass of anything alcoholic. It dissapoints me whether I like to admit it or not.

      We shall see where this self knowledge leads.

      I am wondering if I can get buzzed by just allowing myself to relax and enjoy the company of friends; is it possible to feel a real life-buzz with natural stimulation rather than using ethanol?
      Tipplerette

      I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

      "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
      ? Lao-Tzu

      Comment

        #4
        Letting it Be

        Interesting and timely horoscope for today:



        April 15, 2012
        Changing with the Tides
        Libra Daily Horoscope

        You may criticize yourself harshly today if you are unable to meet the goals you have set for yourself. If your efforts do not earn the results you desire, you may chastise and berate yourself because you feel responsible for your failure. However, it is likely simple circumstance and the universe’s changeability that has prevented you from reaching your goals. Though life has failed to meet your expectations, you will likely find satisfaction in persevering on your path. Consider how you might recover from the blow you’ve been dealt. You may discover that the setbacks and roadblocks you face can help you recognize opportunities to achieve your aims in a different or unusual way. Looking for an alternate path today may help you discover a shorter, more fulfilling method of achieving success.

        Understanding that life will not always live up to your expectations can help ease your distress when your plans are not successful. When we operate under the assumption that all we imagine will come to fruition, we’re easily disappointed because the universe is always changing. Your ability to accept that you must alter your expectations when facing shifting variables can help you look upon the unforeseen confidently, having already mentally prepared yourself for the unexpected situations that arise. Instead of bemoaning your circumstances, you’ll adapt quickly to change, finding solutions to new problems and moving comfortably with the unpredictable universal flow. When you accept that life won’t always meet your expectations today, the roadblocks you encounter will be little more than momentary distractions.
        Tipplerette

        I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

        "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
        ? Lao-Tzu

        Comment

          #5
          Letting it Be

          Did not drink yesterday. There are a few people starting Day 1 today and I am considering joining them. I know it goes against this whole thread but drinking seems to be the obstacle that stops me from just being me.

          We shall see.
          Tipplerette

          I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

          "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
          ? Lao-Tzu

          Comment

            #6
            Letting it Be

            Tipplerette;1297840 wrote: Did not drink yesterday. There are a few people starting Day 1 today and I am considering joining them. I know it goes against this whole thread but drinking seems to be the obstacle that stops me from just being me.

            We shall see.
            Honey stop limiting yourself...one way or the other. What makes you a better person in your opinion? Go for it....make a list what you like and don't about yourself and let it lead you. Don't apologize for no harm done.....
            Psalms 119:45


            ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

            St. Francis of Assisi



            I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

            :rays:

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