Announcement

**tawnyfrog** · February 13, 2007, 01:59 AM

startagain Tuesday

Hey Waves ... just tell me when

:moon:

**Waves 2** · February 13, 2007, 02:02 AM

startagain Tuesday

:H Counting on you Tawny.

**Allie** · February 13, 2007, 02:23 AM

startagain Tuesday

I want to start again...

Life is hard. But I am so excited about how I will deal with these challenges as apposed to my past!

The future is about change!

Allie

**Ilex** · February 13, 2007, 04:26 AM

startagain Tuesday

Hi Guys - I am on day 30 AF today and am planning to mod from now on - so I guess if it's OK with you, you may see me around a bit?! Can anyone help me as I'm a little concerned about switching from AF to mods - did anyone feel this way, and how did you deal with it? I'm not sure that I'm strong enough mentally to cope and I don't know how to prepare myself. I've got so used to AF'ing now that I'm not sure how I go about mod! I know I don't have to mod but I want to test myself and try. I would be so delighted if I could 'use' alcohol in a senisble manner (if you know what I mean?) Any thoughts?

Ilex

**bellaboo** · February 13, 2007, 04:34 AM

startagain Tuesday

there is so much hope & desire in all of us to make it how can we fail when all is said an done , tonight i have fought a battle i"m not so sure i won

**Beaches** · February 13, 2007, 06:33 AM

startagain Tuesday

Good morning early birds!

Glad to see you all up and about. Waves, no problem last night...really!!!

Ilex-Welcome join us anytime and Bellaboo we all just continue to fight.

Morning to Fan and Tawny....

Guess I better get to work. To everyone else who comes along have a great day. We are expecting 6-10 inches of snow today then 12 more inches tomorrrow. SNOW DAY! Maybe for the kids but our agency never shuts down....
Hope it all clears out by the weekend. We are headed south for vacation, I just hope it will be at least a little warmer down there. We are supposed to leave Saturday night with our grand scheme that the kids will sleep most of the night in the van.

We shall see.

Beaches

**fsophiah** · February 13, 2007, 07:49 AM

startagain Tuesday

I've been away from my computer, and boy are things happening. I got my contract for next year in the mail on Friday, and along with it was a one-time-only retirement offer. It is a pay-out of last year's salary plus benefits over three years, with the option to pick up health coverage with the school and pay for it after the three years is up. The conditions are that I can't take another full-time job, and I have to let them know in ten days.

Hub and I went to our favorite bed-and-breakfast over the long weekend (winter holiday for me), then to Austin for my mother's party on Sunday. I thought I had it worked out that I could cover my salary plus some by selling an asset I own with my brother, one that we had already discussed selling. I still had it in my mind, though, that if I couldn't do that I wouldn't retire; I would just keep working until 65. When I told this to my mother, she started shrieking that I just couldn't keep working for seven more years, that was ridiculous. I got an appt. with the family accountant in Austin on Saturday morning. Then, there was the ordeal of talking to my brother, who is abrupt, rude, and hot-headed when he is presented with anything stressful. I presented my situation to him, suggesting that he could fly in for the meeting if he wanted or participate by phone. Since he is one the West Coast, it would mean getting up at 7:00 a.m. No, he couldn't come, and no, he didn't want to get up that early. He was better than I thought, but he said, "What about J-- (my husband), doesn't he make enough money for you?" This is something that was really uncalled for. But I was calm, and I said, "We are a two-income family, and my income will be cut by two-thirds. Also, I don't want to retire and feel poor. I'd rather work."

Anyway, dealing with my family really puts me around the bend. All I wanted was to get some wine into me. These two weeks are going to be stressful, making this decision and getting it to work. I don't know why it's so easy for people to say ugly things to each other. I can't. Even when they are on the tip of my tongue. I say stupid things sometimes, but I know where people can get hurt, and I try to avoid it. Because I don't deliberately hurt people, it hurts me more when they do it to me. E once said, "Sometimes you've got to harden your heart."

But the good news it that I probably will get to retire, so at least all this stress will be productive. I missed you guys over the weekend. Then, I guess I'll look for a part-time job. Any suggestions?

**Mighty Mouse II** · February 13, 2007, 07:51 AM

startagain Tuesday

Good Morning Everybody!!!! Today is a great day -- I was supposed to fix lunch for the 25 boys on the Model UN Team, but school was cancelled -- hip! hip! hooray! I have some FREE TIME TODAY!!!! Free time -- what's that? I don't know but I'm sure it is special!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waves, thanks for the compliment about my son. I do love him tremendously! I think that you are doing GREAT!!!! 2 lbs within your goal!!!! How on Earth do you do that and still drink? You must be doing better with your drinking than you think, maybe? You sound like you are doing great to me! And today is a new day. I think aiming for September this year is great, perhaps set your ultimate September target and work back to decide what you are doing to do each month to get there by September. That's what I'm doing.

By the end of this year, I want to be down to no more than two glasses a day and no more than 8 days a month where I can have a wine at lunch (two a week). This month I'm on one at lunch four days a week and two at night. Three days a week, I have none at lunch. I have been sticking to it most days, but some days I have two at lunch and two at dinner. But since my Dad fell, I am determined to stick to my monthly goals. Next month, I go to three lunch days and two at night, and then the next month . . . you get where I'm going. These are the kinds of goals I've been setting since I started -- I've come a long way from the 5 liter box I was drinking every other day! And I don't drink in the morning at all anymore. So, I'm progressing. I'm hoping that the thoughts of my father's behavior will give me the impetus to keep it up!

Allie, sorry to hear about your father -- it sounds like both our Dad's are in the same boat this week. Is he OK?

Ilex, I rarely give advice on this sort of thing because I believe that each person has the absolute right to find their own solutions and never want anyone to think that I would purport to tell them what to do. But since you asked for our opinion, I will share my thoughts with you. I think you should ask yourself whether being a sensible drinker is so important to you that you are willing to risk going back and having a problem. If yes, go for mods, if no, don't try it. The sad fact of the matter is that many of us have stopped for long periods of time, only to find ourselves in the same spot when we tried to go back and be a sensible drinker. I had stopped for over a year twice, started back thinking I would be a sensible drinker and progressively got worse. This time I started out with mods and its working because I'm continually setting goals to cut back. But if I had it to do over again, I would not start drinking again. Just my thoughts.

A warm "hello" also to Fan, Tawnyfrog, Bellabood, Beaches, and all to come after, Love to all and hope everyone has a great day!

MM

**Mighty Mouse II** · February 13, 2007, 08:03 AM

startagain Tuesday

Hi, Sophia, we were posting at the same time. Sorry that you have to deal with your family. I know what that can be like. My family is very manipulative and really know all of my "hot buttons". From things that you have said previously, it sounds like your Mom might have her own hidden agenda and her thoughts about your retirement may have nothing to do with your best interest. Your brother sounds like he doesn't like to deal with business situations. I think you should rely on the goals that you and your husband want to achieve with the rest of your life together and make a decision based on which strategy will best get you there -- take everybody else with a grain of salt. Just sharing my views. Seem to be doing a lot of that today! Guess it's all that unexpected free time. I wish you well as you struggle with this issue -- close your eyes and feel the warm hug I'm sending you.

MM

**Waves 2** · February 13, 2007, 08:12 AM

startagain Tuesday

Hi Monica,
Have you been taking cheerleading lessons from Jenneh?:H Seriously, thanks for the words of encouragement. You are right. When I was making my monthly plans I was doing quite well. I will re-do that.:l Enjoy your free time before someone grabs it...and don't spend it all on here!

Sophia- I wish you good luck with your decisions. I would love to retire early but as I am only approaching 50 it's not possible.:boohoo:

Beaches- Hope the snow melts in time

**sammys** · February 13, 2007, 08:47 AM

startagain Tuesday

A quick hello this morning and ILEX big conrats on AF goal. Its snowing but at least its not as cold as it has been. I will check in later with everyone.

Sammys

**soccermom** · February 13, 2007, 09:15 AM

startagain Tuesday

I just want to say a quick good morning....the weeks are always so busy for me.
Sophie-hang in there with the family. I'm thinking of you. I need to take a day off and catch up with everyone. I feel left behind and I don't like that feeling.
Good news: I haven't been AF, but extremely well behaved and moderating well for a big 2 nights and boy, does that make a difference.
Love you all and miss you too.
mary

**Mighty Mouse II** · February 13, 2007, 09:16 AM

startagain Tuesday

Waves, you so kind!!! I think you are great!!!

Monica

**Mighty Mouse II** · February 13, 2007, 09:17 AM

startagain Tuesday

I seem to be on a roll today of posting the same times as others!!! Congratulations Mary on your AF -- I am sooooooooo envious!!! WOW!

Welcome Guest to My Way Out Forums.

Announcement

startagain Tuesday

startagain Tuesday

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment