Announcement

**Waves 2** · February 16, 2007, 04:54 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Hi all,
Please excuse me if this is a hotch-potch of comments but I have just caught up on lots.

Beaches- I hope you still manage to get away somehow.:l

Scap- As far a s moderation is concerned. If you look at the mong term moderators board there are no posts since Jan 21st. Tells you this is NOT easy. Some are doing great like MKR but some like me can't keep up the momentum and slip by the roadside and have to be kicked into touch.

Fan- My mum got married again - but even though my stepdad was great I knew that my Dad was always there for me just like you are there for your kids. I know I hurt my dad on occasion by just being a child an showing a child's enthusiasm but I didn't mean to. All yesterday's comments were spot on. You are you and that is worth so very much.:l

Gypsi- :l

Everyone else- it's so lovely to read all your posts.

Love to all as always

**Diana** · February 16, 2007, 05:00 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Dear Ilex,
I have now been moderating for the past two weeks after 34 days AF. I have 2 to 3 glasses of wine over as many hours every second night and that is OK. During the evening in between drinks I get on this site and read and post. I'm pretty happy with myself and my friend is even happier because she can see the other me, the good person who is responsible. Keep up the good work and we'll get through this together and be happier people hopefully for a long time.

**Rocky** · February 16, 2007, 08:50 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Responsible...Now that is a key word for us!!!!

**Quiescent** · February 16, 2007, 09:16 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Good Morning!

Welcome aboard to everyone who is new to Moderation.

It is definitely a struggle for most of us but there are people who are doing quite well.

It's really been trial and error for me but I think I have found the magic for moderation! It's pretty simple for me. I can not be around unlimited amounts of alcohol. If I want to have two glasses of wine in an evening and stop there, I can't have more than two glasses of wine in the house.

If I go to a bar or restaurant, I must leave after my allotment of drinks. I can control myself to a point and that point is three drinks. After that the alcohol that is in my system starts making the decisions.....and they are never good ones.

Allowing my self drinking hours helps too. The later in the evening I start the less I will drink.

Remember drunk is UGLY!

And that's my two cents for the day.

Macks, Becca, Preciouspinot, Mojo, Tawny, Lush, Mary Anne, MKR Mary, Soccer Mom Mary, Jenneh, Laura, Judie, Gypsi, Fsophiah, Allie, Eustacia, Waves, Trish, Dilayne, Mike, Tumadre, Mighty Mouse II, Bak310, PaulaW, Hawk, Ivygoodluck, PaulB, Owly, Dove, Denise, Beaches, NickC, Bestlifeldms, Marcie, Lou Lou, Sammys, Pixie, Lorisunshine, Suzanna, Lucky, Mandy1981, Satori, Nancy(southernbelle), HiddenGem, Tartenterror, MomOf2boys, Metamorphosis, Rocky, Diana, Ilex and Pedro (Did I miss anyone?)
I love you all!

**dilayne** · February 16, 2007, 09:56 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Good Morning Lovelies!
I'm actually 4 months Abs 'today'...but I continue to post on the mods board..first because I feel connected to you all and I don't want that to stop, and second because I guess I'm really not focusing on being abstinent as much as I am focusing on moderation in all things in my life..kind of a bigger picture thing (for me) than focusing so much on the abstinence of alcohol..which potentially runs the risk (for me) of expanding my attachment to alcohol as I believe that what one focuses on will expand..so it's a mind thing that I have to do for myself.

I'm good today..I'm headed out of town this afternoon..second weekend in a row for me..it's good..it's helped keep the February blues at bay. This weekend, my lovely 21 year old daughter and my 10 year old grandson are accompanying me for a visit with 3 of my sisters in Tennessee and Alabama. It's kind of a milestone visit for me...I used to be the 'one' to keep the family visits together (I'm the middle child of seven..and ever the peacemaker and family gatherer..) but a couple of years ago, I withdrew that position..I guess so that I could become more of myself than a role in a family...a detachment of sorts..So, in many ways this weekend is similar to some experiences I've had lately of coming full circle...I've been walking through a dark nite for a couple of years, retreated into my own world..created a room of my own (for the first time in my life)..I resumed drinking before this period of time..I think partly to soften the blow of the pain of self discovery that was to come...I went to the underworld and left everyone behind for a while..but now I've emerged, I'm sober, I'm more of myself and after having to die to the 'self'..I'm discovering that I haven't had to lose ALL of myself afterall...which has been the scariest and painful things through all of this...I knew I (the ego) had to die to the self (my truest self) in order to move forward...scary, scary, scary...becaue if I am not who I thought I was (mother, wife, artist, good girl...bad girl)..then who the hell will I be? What will get me up in the morning....anyway...I'm delighted to find that the goodness of who I've been is still there, and that I can still be the one of brings family members together...but now, without ego. I'm happy to know that all is not lost, even when one is willing to lose it all in order to grown.

So, friends...I won't be in touch after this afternoon until early next week. I'll be thinking of you all and enjoying my children, my sisters, their children...and my true self.

Sorry this is so long..but after reading post from the last few days..I truly know that I am amongst..mother's, sisters, children, aunts, neices, fathers, husbands, ex-husbands, sons, brothers...we all are the same...so I want to share more fully who I am, because I am one of you..and I am that I am, and I am where I am...instead of feeling so alone, different, separate, I choose today, to connect, the only way I know how..in my language. I thank you all for helping to create a place where we can do this...it's truly a gift.
Namaste! Dianne

**southernbelle47** · February 16, 2007, 10:21 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Good morning

Mods is not easy.... If this is our "goal" then I have found that I have to have certain "stops" in place as many of you have stated.
I HAVE to eat a meal including protien BEFORE ANY alcohol hits my tummy.
Chili with beef and beans, chicken or any combo of meat and beans and a grain like brown rice and some veggies work for me...
I also have to not think that I can have a drink more than 1-2 times a week...Actually I have to think Abs in my head and "plan B" is one or two.
I think I am an "allergic" drinker. So I should not drink at all....I threw up the first few times I drank even one drink! (In my 20's)
If you have not figured out what KIND of drinker you are, it would help you to understand the "WHYS"....
This info can be found in the Research section.

Macks, Becca, Preciouspinot, Mojo, Tawny, Lush, Mary Anne, MKR Mary, Soccer Mom Mary, Jenneh, Laura, Judie, Gypsi, Fsophiah, Allie, Eustacia, Waves, Trish, Dilayne, Mike, Tumadre, Mighty Mouse II, Cheeks, Lilyluvr56 , Bak310, PaulaW, Hawk, Ivygoodluck, PaulB, Owly, Dove, Denise, Beaches, NickC, Bestlifeldms, Marcie, Lou Lou, Sammys, Pixie, Lorisunshine, Suzanna, Lucky, Mandy1981, Satori, Imagine, HiddenGem, Tartenterror, MomOf2boys, Metamorphosis, Rocky, Diana, Ilex and Pedro ,Mike(Did I miss anyone?)
I love you all!:h

**southernbelle47** · February 16, 2007, 10:26 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Dianne......You are my "sister"....
Have fun with the family and tell them all hi!

)

Love you,
Nancy

**Mighty Mouse II** · February 16, 2007, 10:38 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Good morning everybody!!! MKR Mary, Imagine, Southernbelle47 -- HOW ON EARTH DO YOU REMEMBER ALL OF OUR NAMES!!! You are all so special, I wish I could do that!

Dilayne, we feel close to you too and am so glad that you continue to post hear -- and that you are reaching new levels in your life.

Moderation works well for me and it gets easier as time goes on. My motto is to set long-term and short-term goals; make the goals challenging but achievable and continue to re-evaluate as you move on. Things I did a year ago, like drinking in the morning and drinking a lot while cooking are dim memories. By this time next year, except for special circumstances, I plan to make drinking at lunch a dim memory also (half way there) -- I'm from the business world -- in the old days it was expected -- now as the dinosaurs are moving out, the upcoming crowds generally frown on it -- a changing world indeed. I'm meeting AMA standards for wine, so its working. It is not easy, but it gets easier.

Mike, hope you are feeling better.

Beaches, hope you get to go away!!!

Love to all (wish I had the talent to name everyone)!!! But you are all in my heart. I too won't be around much until at least Sunday -- radio show today, Shabbot tomorrow. Take care.

**Quiescent** · February 16, 2007, 10:42 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

MightyMouse, it's really not a great memory that I can count on.......shhhhhhhhhhh (it's copy and paste from one of my previous posts)

I go through every now and then and try really hard to update it with new moderators and take away names that seem to have left.

If I ever leave anyone out PLEASE let me know!

**Lucy Van Pelt** · February 16, 2007, 10:54 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Hi guys...

good morning!! Hope you are all doing well! I can't keep all the names straight, just know I really love you all!! The mods/abs thing. I usually post here, because I am FAR from abs, not even mods at this point, but for me I know I need to be abs (I just posed a LONG thread over in abs). Anyway, will always post here because you guys are special to me:h

It must be very cold where ever you are, because it is even cold here in Florida. I got my warm jammies out, and our heat is on!

Fan, just a quick note to you. I was divorced when my kids were 5 and 3. There dad moved several stated away. I re-married this wonderful step-dad to them when they were still very young, and yes, he loves them and they love him very much, but guess what...Their dad, is still numero uno in their book...still their daddy!! Does it urk me?????? YES!!! BUT I am telling you, because you are a loving involved dad, right there, and you have nothing to worry about. You will always be their daddy, and no one will take that place in their hearts. Hope for them that if mom finds another guy, it is someone good to them, that they can like (love, even?) and don't feel jealous, because it will NEVER take the place of you. I promise!!!

Take it from someone who has seen this first hand.

With love,

The one who was in your ex's shoes!!

**Lucy Van Pelt** · February 16, 2007, 10:56 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

sorry for all the spelling mistakes...must be typing too fast!!!!

**lushy** · February 16, 2007, 11:12 AM

Friday 16th Feb!

Morning muffs!! Ilex, sounds like you are definitely on the right path to moderation if you did not have a drink when you were thinking you wanted one. It is definitely a balance you have to come up with, and like Rachele, I find I cannot have it around me or I will drink it. And then once I get started it is hard to stop at 2-3. So I have definitely not figured out the moderating thing but am always working on it.

Diana, sounds like you have a great plan in place as well. Are you on topa?

I have a super busy day today so gotta run. Love to all of you! Really. Lots of love. This board and this group of people has saved my sanity a lot these last couple of weeks.

**Saint Jude** · February 16, 2007, 12:10 PM

Friday 16th Feb!

Mornin' ya'll, :flower:
Boy things sure are "sticky" on my end of the puter ... Last night it took me forever to do a short post. Anyone else having this ? Maybe I'm just wearing out my emoticon pass!:H

:welcome: Illex, It does sound like you've got the right frame of mind for starting off mods. I believe that is so important, just being mentally ready and having patience with yourself-as well as a LOT of determination!

I hit a very ruff spot hear a few weeks ago, that hit me hard. Probably because I allowed myself too much time away from the boards & CD's...? Also trying to self-medicate a migraine... never works. Someday maybe I'll "get" that...
In any case it feels soo good to be sitting up straighter in the saddle again!
Thanks to all the lwonderful support here...LOVE YA GUYS!!
I think this is my 5th day off of the topa(?)... And I'm feeling really good, after have been on 100mg, a day for just over a year.
I was really concerned that I might just cave in & hit a binge HARD... But I think just the fact that I had that thought in mind is keeping me vigilant...

I know the "real" me is so much better, than when I allow my "Evil Twin" to take over... That's not EVEN a life I want. So I need to stay close here, and be very honest with myself. So far, soo good.

Much better to be living out in the light ... than to be hiding and lying to myself with deceptions. The self-loathing, is NOT worth it!

Geez! I think I almost wrote another book! Probably not gonna be a best seller... but just in case anyone's wondering what I been thinkin... There ya have it! $.02 worth!

Beaches, hope ya get to take off on your trip soon! Good luck with the van door...

Di, enjoy the family. Sounds like a great one,...Sis!

Fan, hope you have a brighter day. Desear bailar?

Everyone else have a great weekend! Catch ya later.
Hugs & Prayers, Judie

**southernbelle47** · February 16, 2007, 12:16 PM

Friday 16th Feb!

Well I have to confess....
Not even my own cut and paste!!!

I borrowed it from a sister!
Now you all know how it's done!!:H :H :H

:h Nancy

Welcome Guest to My Way Out Forums.

Announcement

Friday 16th Feb!

Friday 16th Feb!

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment