Feeling Indifferent to AL

[LibraryGirl]

Really surprised tonight that I am not particularly interested in drinking. I bought a six pack of Smirnoff Ice coolers tonight, and am on my second one. I haven't drank these in ages, but I don't trust myself to have a whole bottle of liquor or wine in the house, and I don't really like regular beer. Anyway, it tastes pretty good, but I'm not going to drink anymore after this one.

I have been eight days since I last drank (last Friday), and probably will not drink again till next weekend if that. I know that if I were around drinkers or at a party, it would be more difficult. However, I am very pleased that I seem to be developing a kind of indifference now. I had planned to drink 3 or 4 tonight, but having trouble finishing my second one, so I know I won't open another one.

I hope everyone is doing well. There's very little activity in the moderator's section of the board, or else I'm not navigating very well.

lg

[LibraryGirl]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

And, today I have no hangover and no ill effects from the two coolers I consumed last night. I went to bed and later got woken abruptly by my bf, which made me angry and I got up and came into the living room and got on my computer. Normally, I would have drank, especially since I had AL in the house, but I didn't.

Anybody hereeeeee????:new:

[Tizzer]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

Newbie

I drank too much last night and was anything but verbally kind to my wife. I went to a bar, drank way too much and elected to walk home. it was only about a mile. This morning my wife kindly took me to pick up the car before work while verbally chewing on me for the previous nights behavior. I was feeling like crap and quite stupid for griping at my wife about trivia the preceding night.Today at work I queried on alcohol abstinance and saw this site. It seemed interesting and i was glad to see a section dedicated to moderation. I don't drink every day and it doesn't bother me not to drink, but the concept of having only two or three drinks escapes me. I was glad to see others had similar traits. I look forward to seeing how others handle it and hope to learn. I noted you were a senior member so I thought I might post to your thread. Tonight I will go home and not have a drink. We'll see what tomorrow brings. :new:

[LibraryGirl]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

:welcome: Tizzer. There are more abstainers on this site than modders, but there are a few of us still. I recommend a period of abstinence before you begin moderating, but only because I have seen firsthand how well it works. The usual plan is to abstain for 30 days and then re-evaluate. Some, many, choose to stop drinking altogether, but others try moderation, which is what I'm doing now. As time passes, I may have to re-evaluate again, but for now my journey is here.

Try posting in the long-term modders forum. There's people in there.

[Tizzer]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

Thanks for the reply and I'll check the long term. Good luck

[freddybear]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

I am a newbie to this site. I am going to follow the advice and abstain for 30 days. I am a binge drinker and for some reason thought since I don't drink everyday that I don't have a problem. My husband and friends do that agree with my reasoning.

[freddybear]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

I meant DO NOT agree with my reasoning:new:

[TheSunFlower]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

Freddy,

There is a lot of negative information out there about trying to moderate after abusive drinking. And much of it is true. After 30 days re-evaluate. And if you decide to drink....and go straight back to old ways....it may be time to re-evaluate.

My Dad drank abusively for 20 years....stopped for 30 days....and then has been a moderate drinker for the last 20. I would like to think that if he found himself back in his old ways....he would have faced the fact he had to stop.

I am abstinence right now and for me it works....but, I am not committed to it forever. Forever is a looooong time But, who knows.....one day at a time...it could be forever.

I am just not hardcore one way or the other yet.

[LibraryGirl]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

Sunflower, I don't know how I missed this post. That is amazing about your father. Hope you are doing well. I found you to be a kindred spirit back in the day that I was posting regularly, and an open-minded one as well.

[freethinker]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

LibraryGirl,

I know I'm reviving an older thread here. Your use of the word "indifferent" got my attention. If problems drinkers could develop indifference that could solve a lot of problems. In my efforts to moderate I've actually started feeling like I'm becoming indifferent.

Why? I think that "thinking about drinking" keeps it at the forefront of our minds. The longer I think about having a drink, even if it has been several days since one, the more likely I'll be to have one.
Our mind is very tricky. Even if our "addiction" is of a minor level, the mind still tries to make it seem like having a drink will make a " positive difference" to our quality of life or ability to achieve normalcy.

I'm rethinking that supposed "positive difference" and becoming indifferent to that notion. To me, it's about questioning long held beliefs I've had about what is normal for me to feel like I'm "living well'.

[crocus]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

Hi Library Girl,
As a college English instructor, I love your name. Anyway, I'm striving for much more indifference. Sometimes I have it, sometimes not. My daughter and I (she's 30) have very similar issues with A. We are working together on getting better and stronger. Our personalities are the same: love to laugh, see humor in everything (and she is an ICU nurse so that is hard to do), are deeply religious and are active in church, high energy, love music, love to socialize, voracious readers, very busy, go the gym, and hate change! We don't want to abstain, we want to control this. We both love to say: " Good! I didn't drink too much last night." Part of my issue is that my wonderful husband of 38 shares only one of of my characteristics. He too loves to read. But he will NEVER dance, is very quiet and solitary. If he has a few drinks, he actually TALKS to me!(Strangely, we nevertheless have a strong marriage and we do love each other.) ANyway... good for you about the coolers. I didn't drink yesterday, am going to the gym, groceries, and do some stuff for the weddings. All three of my fabulous kids are getting married this year! May have one beer tonight. I am going to cultivate indifference all day and see how that goes. Don't want this thread to die, so I'll post again. P.S. I did 30 days a year ago, than started with a few per week, but I lost my indifference. Must get that.

[crocus]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

Hi Library and all. Well, checking in to ask that you help me evaluate yesterday. Had a great day, but had three drinks rather than the one beer I had planned on. Had a super busy and productive day, showered and had a cold beer on the deck to listen to music. My husband..not home...hates when I do that...he will leave the room if put music on. Listening to jazz yesterday. So. He got home and I turned it off and figured he wanted to eat, so joined him in the kitchen. We cooked together. He poured wine and I accepted some. He was talkative and I was so happy. I ended up having two good size glasses before we were done We watched TV together, and he was asleep by 9:00. Which is really late for him. I cleaned the kitchen, went to bed, read for a couple hours and slept well.
I think I feel happy today because he socialized with me. He rarely does. (Example: "Hey, it's Saturday night! Wanna watch my new Tom Petty documentary with me?" "No." Just "no"...nothing more. He tends toward sarcasm. OR...we'll decide on a great movie that we both want to see, and he'll fall asleep by 6, wake up, then get up wordlessly and go to bed by 7. It's broad daylight! Or...he'll pick up a book and ignore me completely. We've been through counseling. This is it, folks.

Too often this pushes my buzzer, and I will "get even" (!!???) by staying up 'till 2 or 3 listening to music and drinking, and I did NOT do that this time. BUT....and here's the thing....how do I learn to not react so self-destructively when he will NOT talk or socialize. I feel OK about the wine intake here, but I don't want to go nuts again and drink too much.
OK...so last night I feel like I had a more normal evening, but I did drink more than I had planned.

[crocus]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

OK. FRIDAY EVENING! END OF WORK WEEK! Asked my hubby to take me out to an early supper (4:45).
Went to our local tavern, ordered drinks and food, and in 45 minutes he said one thing to me inspite of my attempts at conversation. He said: "Onion rings are good, huh?" Not one other thing.

I ordered another drink with my club sandwich and struck up a GREAT conversation with the two guys who were next to me. I had a great time talking to them about this and that. Ultimately hubby and I left, and are now home and it is 6:30 and he is sound asleep.

I love him. I look at him there all tucked in and I love him, but I want to have some fun on this Friday night! Fortunately, I made sure I only have one more glass of wine in house. But I sure will drink it, and go to bed at 7 and feel cheated. I am 64 years old, and feel VERY young. The only friends I have are my kids...who regularly take me out to hear music and dance, and my good friends from church who would never dream of doing that. Signing off...Please help me!

[crocus]

Feeling Indifferent to AL

Hello Anyone!

Well lots has happened. Two days AF. Good. Tonight, however, after waiting on my hub hand and foot, he began to order me around like always. Something snapped, and I made a huge statement that I would no longer tolerate being spoken to like that. (Really? I've been tolerating it for 38 years! Do I really want to die on this hill?) He went immediately to bed (7:45 p.m.), and I began cleaning the house with a fury! BUT...also opened a beer and put on some music, and danced while I cleaned. Now it is 10:30 and I feel as guilty as a girl can feel. Someone??????? But///truth be told, I loved drinking the beer and dancing around to loud music. Going to bed now feeling like I totally suck.