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Time for an end to quake drinking

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    Time for an end to quake drinking

    I come from a place that has had a series of devastating earthquakes over the past two years. The future of our home is uncertain, its value is questionable, my business has had to relocate into temporary premises that are now 18 months old, and there doesn't seem like anywhere else to go.
    The whole fabric of our town is changing - everything. The people, the basis of the economy, its physical appearance (basically, 80% of the city either fell down or is being pulled down. And we all drink. We drink when we're happy, we drink when we're sad, we drink when there are big aftershocks, we drink to celebrate when they stop, and then suddenly we're all drinking, most of the time Oh, and eating, too. There's so much post traumatic fallout going on, that everybody seems to be just hanging in by a fingernail.
    I never was a drinker before it all started, but boy, am I a drinker now. And it scares me that I can't easily stop. I really have to fight with myself not to drink each night. I have done really well this week, as I am out of town in a real city where the buildings are standing up, there are proper shops and cafes, and things feel safe. But it's a huge effort. I've really noticed it tis week, while I am away, and there is nobody to drink with, because I really don't know many people here. And I have refused to do as I have done in the past, and either gone out and had a couple of glasses of wine in a bar, or gone over the road and bought a bottle and drunk half of it, at home, on my own. I am practically salivating just at the thought of that...
    Has anyone else who has been through a natural disaster/traumatic situation managed to get a handle on this? I keep thinking it will just come right, once things settle and there is some sort of 'normal' in our lives again. But now it looks like things won't ever be the same again.
    I am working hard to re establish my business in another city, and I need to be really sharp, and really focused. I can't be slow and tired and hungover and lacking in energy.

    #2
    Time for an end to quake drinking

    Hello Quakegirl, I just wanted to drop in and say hi. I can't imagine what you've been through and are still going through. It's so easy for me to take things for granted and am humbled when I hear stories like yours. It must take enormous strength for you and your community to rebuild your lives. I wish you all healing thoughts and positive vibes for your new business. Well done on resisting that drink today. Stay strong :l (love your pretty avatar btw)
    You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

    :lilangel:

    Comment


      #3
      Time for an end to quake drinking

      Thanks, Freefly, I really appreciate your kind words.
      I am having a weird night. On the one hand, I am edgy, restless, craving something. On the other, too tired to go out and can't be bothered leaving. I did get an offer to go to somebody's house, and I would have taken wine. But I decided to just stay on the couch as I was dog tired. I had a really nice, simple dinner, ate half a bag of sweets, and sat here just riding out the edgy feelings. I don't even want to drink. I just want the feeling to go away.
      I did throw my jeans on to go over the road to the store over the road - they sell wine as well as other stuff - because it felt like chocolate might make the craving go away. But the sweets had already satisfied my sweet tooth. And so I made a cup of decaff and thought what a strange night. Alone and wanting to drink, but not wanting to drink. Giving in to my tiredness rather than mindlessly and relentlessly doing whatever it took to get into a drinking situation.
      I don't know how it will be when I go home tomorrow - my mind immediately goes to my husband and I sitting down and enjoying a bottle of wine, and it all being cosy and homely. But I'd really rather not do that. Tonight I was going to drink, I'd been 'good' all week (better than I could have imagined!), and I was thinking on and off all day, how it would be to have a glass of wine. But when it came down to it, I really didn't want it. Like I said, don't want the wine, just don't want the edgy, scratchy, crave-y feelings.

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        #4
        Time for an end to quake drinking

        Hi Quake,

        I totally relate.. I'm from the same place and was there during all of those 4 major earthquakes. I drank massive amounts during that time.( I no longer live there but continued drinking those large quantities for a while after I left ).. The trauma is huge and everyone's whole existence on every level is radically changed.

        Looking at one thing at a time, trying to practice mindfulness and gratitude is really positive and is really helping me at the moment.

        Take care
        Patrice
        x

        Comment


          #5
          Time for an end to quake drinking

          Quakegirl;1374882 wrote: Thanks, Freefly, I really appreciate your kind words.
          I am having a weird night. On the one hand, I am edgy, restless, craving something. On the other, too tired to go out and can't be bothered leaving. I did get an offer to go to somebody's house, and I would have taken wine. But I decided to just stay on the couch as I was dog tired. I had a really nice, simple dinner, ate half a bag of sweets, and sat here just riding out the edgy feelings. I don't even want to drink. I just want the feeling to go away.
          I did throw my jeans on to go over the road to the store over the road - they sell wine as well as other stuff - because it felt like chocolate might make the craving go away. But the sweets had already satisfied my sweet tooth. And so I made a cup of decaff and thought what a strange night. Alone and wanting to drink, but not wanting to drink. Giving in to my tiredness rather than mindlessly and relentlessly doing whatever it took to get into a drinking situation.
          I don't know how it will be when I go home tomorrow - my mind immediately goes to my husband and I sitting down and enjoying a bottle of wine, and it all being cosy and homely. But I'd really rather not do that. Tonight I was going to drink, I'd been 'good' all week (better than I could have imagined!), and I was thinking on and off all day, how it would be to have a glass of wine. But when it came down to it, I really didn't want it. Like I said, don't want the wine, just don't want the edgy, scratchy, crave-y feelings.
          Quakegirl - I can so understand these feelings - I've had them so many times and have automatically piloted myself to the shop when they hit, even though I could feel a part of me didn't really want a drink. Well done on riding it out. You will feel so good about yourself tomorrow and can take that feeling home with you :l

          Hi Patrice
          You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

          :lilangel:

          Comment


            #6
            Time for an end to quake drinking

            Hi Quakegirl and welcome to MWO!

            My daughter and her family live in your city, so I am familiar with some of the horror and uncertainty which are coloring your life at the moment, and I am sad and afraid for all of you.

            MWO has helped me immensely to learn ways to cope without using alcohol, strategies for minimizing my alcohol use, and just in general retraining by brain and my thinking about alcohol use. I read the MWO book which you can download from this site, I used the vitamin supplements or similar ones, and also used the hypnosis CDs to retrain my brain.

            Best of all, I read extensively in this forum, particularly the posts in the Tool Box thread, which is listed in the Abstainers section.

            Let us know how you are doing and good luck !!! Farfalla
            . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

            Comment


              #7
              Time for an end to quake drinking

              Hi all, and thank you so much for the replies - it means a lot. Living here is very hard, especially with so much uncertainty around our home etc. Patrice, I hope you are doing OK since you left. It doesn't leave you when you leave, unfortunately. I think all of us will be pretty much scarred for life, in some way, some more or less than others.
              I actually had a really good week last week - I only had 2 glasses of wine from Sunday to Saturday. On the Saturday I had a glass on my way home, and was going to have another but it just felt like enough, which was good. My husband picked me up at the airport and we went out to dinner with friends, and I think I could actually have not drunk at all, except he ordered me a glass. I drank very slowly, and just had 2.
              I am meditating again for the first time in years and I think that is definitely helping. It's not easy, though, especially since I have pretty crappy anxiety at the best of times, and I seem to had adopted alcohol as a form of self medication. Was hanging out for a wine tonight, but am hanging out with my daughter and cooking dinner instead. working so far...

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