The whole fabric of our town is changing - everything. The people, the basis of the economy, its physical appearance (basically, 80% of the city either fell down or is being pulled down. And we all drink. We drink when we're happy, we drink when we're sad, we drink when there are big aftershocks, we drink to celebrate when they stop, and then suddenly we're all drinking, most of the time Oh, and eating, too. There's so much post traumatic fallout going on, that everybody seems to be just hanging in by a fingernail.
I never was a drinker before it all started, but boy, am I a drinker now. And it scares me that I can't easily stop. I really have to fight with myself not to drink each night. I have done really well this week, as I am out of town in a real city where the buildings are standing up, there are proper shops and cafes, and things feel safe. But it's a huge effort. I've really noticed it tis week, while I am away, and there is nobody to drink with, because I really don't know many people here. And I have refused to do as I have done in the past, and either gone out and had a couple of glasses of wine in a bar, or gone over the road and bought a bottle and drunk half of it, at home, on my own. I am practically salivating just at the thought of that...
Has anyone else who has been through a natural disaster/traumatic situation managed to get a handle on this? I keep thinking it will just come right, once things settle and there is some sort of 'normal' in our lives again. But now it looks like things won't ever be the same again.
I am working hard to re establish my business in another city, and I need to be really sharp, and really focused. I can't be slow and tired and hungover and lacking in energy.
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