I stayed AF up until yesterday, day 39 as I looked in my journal. I had some issues here over something which I am going to vent out and finish for my own health and then not say anything more. I am not responsible for wrongs of others or when they prosecute the good and let the bad go free. That won't be a trigger again.
"The typical ***** behavior when confronted is to try to play the sympathy card like a wounded animal, so that others turn against the person who is outing them. Many times, they get people to report the person and get them kicked off the forum. Remove the threat as it were. That is exactly what happened and I knew it could happen. I was hoping that after having been trying to help others as well as get support that would have kept most from turning, but he got exactly what he wanted...more attention and knives being thrown at me. I, also, was contacted by the moderator to ignore him because it is bad for business. He, as well, sent me a nasty message with great grammar and spelling mind you. Funny how the private is different than the board posts."
Now, that I got that off my chest, to the moderation point. I thought it through before I had those two drinks yesterday and decided yep, I want them. They were a bit of a feel good for the mistreatment I was handed on an AF board for being truthful and honest and being spanked at the hands of the outcome of a game player, but it is what it is, and I am done now. I only wanted people to direct their time to people who are really in need. I suspect there will be progress posted now as a result of the attention which has been accelerated. It's all in textbook 101.
Anyway, after those two drinks, I did NOT want anymore. I had no addiction or desire to have another one which is HUGE for me. Normally I can't stop. Give me one and off I go. Truly, it was like having a sweet tooth, eating something sweet and then saying I'm satisfied. I have no hangover and I do not want any further today. For me, I think the key may just be to be very disciplined on not ever allowing myself to drink without it being well thought out and to not drink often so that a physical addiction does not develop again. I will continue to work through all personal issues and follow my plan, but was very happy to see the drinks did not bring a desire for more and didn't really do anything for me.
I thought I'd post this for those who do try to moderate. Will see how this goes into the future, but I still have an AF plan, but am thinking if once in a while I have one or two in a planned thought out manner, I may be able to do so. For some that may lead back to a crutch or emotional drinking, etc. I'm not so sure that will be the case with me. So, no more alcohol this week...none. It did make me happy that my body didn't go obsessive after breaking the addiction. I do know it would come back easily if I started drinking regularly again, but maybe a couple once every two weeks won't be a problem.
Ramble and vent done.
"The typical ***** behavior when confronted is to try to play the sympathy card like a wounded animal, so that others turn against the person who is outing them. Many times, they get people to report the person and get them kicked off the forum. Remove the threat as it were. That is exactly what happened and I knew it could happen. I was hoping that after having been trying to help others as well as get support that would have kept most from turning, but he got exactly what he wanted...more attention and knives being thrown at me. I, also, was contacted by the moderator to ignore him because it is bad for business. He, as well, sent me a nasty message with great grammar and spelling mind you. Funny how the private is different than the board posts."
Now, that I got that off my chest, to the moderation point. I thought it through before I had those two drinks yesterday and decided yep, I want them. They were a bit of a feel good for the mistreatment I was handed on an AF board for being truthful and honest and being spanked at the hands of the outcome of a game player, but it is what it is, and I am done now. I only wanted people to direct their time to people who are really in need. I suspect there will be progress posted now as a result of the attention which has been accelerated. It's all in textbook 101.
Anyway, after those two drinks, I did NOT want anymore. I had no addiction or desire to have another one which is HUGE for me. Normally I can't stop. Give me one and off I go. Truly, it was like having a sweet tooth, eating something sweet and then saying I'm satisfied. I have no hangover and I do not want any further today. For me, I think the key may just be to be very disciplined on not ever allowing myself to drink without it being well thought out and to not drink often so that a physical addiction does not develop again. I will continue to work through all personal issues and follow my plan, but was very happy to see the drinks did not bring a desire for more and didn't really do anything for me.
I thought I'd post this for those who do try to moderate. Will see how this goes into the future, but I still have an AF plan, but am thinking if once in a while I have one or two in a planned thought out manner, I may be able to do so. For some that may lead back to a crutch or emotional drinking, etc. I'm not so sure that will be the case with me. So, no more alcohol this week...none. It did make me happy that my body didn't go obsessive after breaking the addiction. I do know it would come back easily if I started drinking regularly again, but maybe a couple once every two weeks won't be a problem.
Ramble and vent done.
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