30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

[Alcoholic]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Fin:
nice to see you here. I really admire your resolve. You are an adult w great intelligence, you will make the best decision for yourself. Remember, nothing is all size fits all. I do agree w the NN some should definitely never drink again. I'm sure you will come to the conclusion as to what's best for you.

Scottish lass: not sure what kind of rose you got. In so ca, they thrive outside. They need so much sunlight. You can call me alco or ally. Some people call me AL but they all want to kick AL's ass so I'm very jumpy these days! Lol!

Ff: don't punish yourself too much cuz you're trying. For 20 years I didn't bother to try and if I had tried, I'd find this website earlier. We can all do it. W all these different opinions out there (I do enjoy seeing different ways of thinking and opinions so we can broaden our minds-- not to argue but to learn from different viewpoints), its great because one can find the option that works for them. I'm so thankful for this site because of the difference opinions and med/supplant suggestions given!!

Eve: and thank you for your continued. Balanced and fair view and great research on alcoholism. It's certainly enlightening and informational!

[Fin]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Alcoholic;1406241 wrote: Fin:
nice to see you here. I really admire your resolve. You are an adult w great intelligence, you will make the best decision for yourself. Remember, nothing is all size fits all. I do agree w the NN some should definitely never drink again. I'm sure you will come to the conclusion as to what's best for you.

ALC, this means a lot to me. Thanks for the recognition. I donno about the "great intelligence" comment, but I do have a capacity for action. I think Teddy Roosevelt said something like that. Anyway, I appreciate the acceptance.

What's your story these days?

[scottish lass]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Welcome Fin - I am striving for another 30 days, my last was in January - and then revisit what my plan will be - and I hope it will be to stay the course, but that is too daunting to look at so 30 days right now works for me. Don't feel alone, you can always find somewhere on this site to fit in and feel comfy...
Ally works for me - not ready to kick your butt! Thanks for the options...
Monday afternoon, week two - hanging in....
Hope my UK friend enjoy fireworks, or did they all happen over the weekend?

[Alcoholic]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Fin: I've been mostly AF for the last 3 weeks I joined MWO and there were 3 days I drank 2 glasses of wine. But I don't beat myself up because I was drinking daily 1.5 bottle x 20 years. To me that's progress. i don't have family hx of alcoholism. I just dealt w stress by drinking bc I have a highly stressful job. Now I got my massage chair (I must say, the combination of l glut, kudzu , massage chair and mwo forum) is the magical cure for my stress. There are definitely those who 1 drink is never enough. You just have to decide if you are that type of alcoholic. And from
Your posts, I know I'm not exaggerating about your intelligence. Not to mention your gymnastic skills! I can't even do a cartwheel. I flunked out of PE though I won state champion math contests. Just not in my genes to even ride a bike *sigh*

Scott lass: how's it going over there? Did you buy more flowers ??? You have to check out something called adenuim or desert rose. They are awesome and can be grown like bonsai. They can be houseplants but in the summer they may enjoy being outside. I have tons of them grown from seeds. Next summer when they flower ill change my avatar to that. Search online.. They are the coolest tropical plant ever!!! My favorite!

[FreeFly]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Quick check in before bed. Thanks SL & Ally (don't like calling you alcoholic either!) for the kind words. I'm ok and past beat up - no point! Had a good day and brain back on track.

Lassie, our local fireworks display is on Saturday. It's pretty good for a wee little town on the south coast. Big bonfire on the beach and even bigger fireworks, kiddie parade and lots of drumming! Looking forward to it.

Welcome Fin - nice to see a new face, especially one with great intelligence and a gymnast! :H

[Fin]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Hi again, Ally (vs. ALC). We're on a parallel path. I'm six weeks in with a total of 3 rather innocuous moments of "weakness". The longest 28 day AF stretch was a good one and really got me out of the weeds and back on track toward a more reasonable lifestyle.

Like you, I'm not going to beat myself up anymore after about two years of 6 IPAs / night. I've had my moments where I've had too much over many more years, but it was the daily intake problem I've been most concerned about. I don't have any history of AL in my family either, but I am susceptible (like most humans) to good and bad habits -- I'm a habitual being. My days are very regimented like yours, I'm sure. Stress? Yeah. I run the daily operations of a small software company, have young kids, wife who is also working and a busy social / public life. Anyway, it's good to be back to some sense of normalcy but as I'm sure you guys know, we much remain diligent!

SL: Thanks for the welcome. I agree. Take it incrementally as god willing, we're here (on this rock) for a long time.

FreeFly: Thank you as well for the welcome. The "gymnastics" keep it light. Ha!

[scottish lass]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Ally - I moved to a new (to me) house that I am in a lease to own program and it has potential for a wonderful garden - it wil take time and money, needs a lot of work, but I do see being able to have a garden one day - the roses I got were cut flowers rather than a plant. I will look into the desert rose for sure. I did not buy new flowers today - still at work (sneaking a break) - probably won't be flower shopping until the weekend.
Fly - I did love Guy Fawkes night - hopefully some fire baked potatoes!! great to warm hands as well as tummy's - it sounds like fun - I love fireworks!
Fin, well done for coming to the realisation after just a couple of years - it has taken me a lot longer to manage to realise that I have to change my habits - more like 30 years!! My family is all heavy drinkers, more just habits and traditions rather than really problem drinkers, but when stress got to me I realised I was using it as a crutch/medication and needed to stop.

[Alcoholic]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Ff: it's always nice to hear from you! Sounds like a lot of noises there to keep you from feeling lonely! Do you wear earplugs? I don't even like balloons so I would be a nervous wreck there! Hope you are having fun though! I hope you can post here whenever you feel lonely or bored. I did, sometimes I just talked to myself here, laughed at my own jokes, answered my own questions... Anything to delay a drink! . Hugs!

S. Lass: nice! Since you love flowers, it'll be a treat to have your garden. Are you a planner? Like planning where plants go before buying and planting? I'm an impulsive buyer. So my garden usually looks like an unplanned mess! Are you all moved in and unpacked?

Finn: I love that word diligence! That's what we need! Diligence! It's like everything else, gymnastics needs practice and strength/muscle training, piano needs constant finger exercises, to be free of addiction we need to be diligent in watching our behavior, making sure we don't slip back into our previous habit, right? And being on this website will be a constant reminder for us not to go back to our old ways.

My son (11 yo). and husband will be home any minute now. Kids grow up too fast. My son already is becoming quite mouthy. What happened to my sweet little boy who hugged mommy all the time?!

[LibraryGirl]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Hi Everyone. It's so nice to see so many here. Good job on all your efforts, and here's to a successful 30 days!

Al, can I grow the dessert rose indoors easily? It's too cold for outside plants right now, but the summers are very hot. I love succulents but have never had the courage to try and plant any. My mom was a huge gardener, but I never came close to inheriting her skills. I want to try and do a little more.

Lg

[Alcoholic]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

LG: adenium desert roses are hard to find in nurseries. I buy the seeds from eBay. They are great indoor plants in the winter (just don't over water them in the winter). But in the summer they love hot sun, but like more water when it gets that hot. Raised from seeds, they take 2-3 years to flower. But I've had some that flowered in 1 year. They can grow as big as you let them or as small as you let them. The plant size depends on the pot size. If you do an Internet search, you will be amazed at the different looks of this amazing plant. I probably have about 100 of them! I give them away all the time because part of the joy for me is raising the babies to maturity. Wish you lived closer, I could just give you a couple!! Each has their own special look just like human beings!!!


Ok, see don't get me started on plants. I'll never stop! How are things w your boyfriend now? He does sound like he cares about you if he encourages to drink less. My husband? He just wants me drunk so I would be more "uninhibited.!" Men! Sorry, Finn!

[Eve11]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Day by Day, Minute by Minute

Day 8

This is the beginning of the second week of not drinking, and guess what that means? You made it through a weekend. Week-ends can easily be a downfall for folks as that can be the biggest excuse to drink - e.g. going out on Saturday night and "have to have one!" One week down and accomplished. Soon you’ll see that you can begin to take it week by week and even longer if you choose.

Here’s a hypothetical question: What if you were locked up for a month and couldn’t drink, you know that while you might have some trouble, you would survive the experience. Maybe you could go a year without drinking if someone offered you a major incentive to stop drinking...like a million dollars! Clearly these examples are fictional but they show that a large part of changing a behavior is the attitude you have about it. Having the right attitude – a positive one that is willing to look at the short-term and long-term benefits of changing — will be a great way to success.

It is also a good idea to have in mind some kind of plan for how you’re going to avoid giving in to that one urge or event. One of the best ways to avoid giving in to an urge is to put off drinking altogether.
• Promise yourself not to give in to an urge to today.
• Keep busy!
• If you do slip, stop! Do not finish the drink. Sometimes we have to go back and take it one minute at a time.
• Check out this thread: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f3...ion-36951.html to help you avoid those triggers that may may make you want
to drink. Caution: The thread was originally written for people trying to moderate so keep this in mind and disregard anything that doesn't apply to
abstaining right now.

:l
Eve11

[Eve11]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Alcoholic (Al, Alc, Alco, or Ally)

To Ally,
You should say to folks,

If you'll be my bodyguard,
I can be your long lost pal!
I can call you Betty,
And Betty, when you call me,
You can call me Al!

~Paul Simon

Hi Ally, :welcome: Fin, LG, Scottish Lass and all who have posted and are perusing our site...join us and jump in at whatever day you are into being AF. These days of the week are just designed to give us a little guidance and food for thought. Any day that's an AF day will work being here on the 30 day challenge. Hang on...as Bette Davis said,
"It's going to be a bumpy ride." But guess what? We can handle the bumps!

:l
Eve11

[Eve11]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Alcoholic (Al, Alc, Alco, or Ally)

Ally,
You should say:

If you'll be my bodyguard,
I can be your long lost pal!
I can call you Betty,
And Betty, when you call me,
You can call me Al!
~Paul Simon

Welcome Fin and a warm hello to all. As Bette Davis said, "Hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride."
But guess what? The bumps will be worth it in the end.

:l
Eve11

[Fin]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Done the time

Hi Eve,

I've done my "30 days", so to speak. I'm now on a path that is principally abstinent and when I do slip, I'm done beating myself up over small social indulgences that set me back to zero on the AF counter. This site and community have been instrumental in getting what was a really bad habit back into control and at the beginning of every day, that has been my principal goal.

I say beginning vs. end of the day as my entire outlook on the quality of my life seems to be defined in the first two minutes after I awake in the early mornings (day starts ~5:30 AM). As we all know, waking up hungover is the ultimate spirit crusher. Now that I'm (we are) clear again, words can hardly express that sense that we are perfectly adapted to live cleanly. Everything works better. Our muscles, eyes, mind, temperament, sense of smell, what we hear and don't hear and on and on.

In my mind it seems like we are all as close to perfection (living peacefully and lovingly) as we can be when we are not dependent on AL or drugs to filter out the myriad of details that constitute a life. Does it take guts? You bet it does and that's why I so respect everyone on this site regardless of their individual struggles and definitions of success / failure. This shit takes True Grit especially since the commitment is in direct opposition of the collective culture we find ourselves living in!

Okay, off to study. Have a great day everyone.

Be good,
-Fin

[Alcoholic]

30 Days AF Monthly Moderation

Eve:

if someone offered me a million dollars, I'd do almost anything!!!

It is very sweet of you to post inspirational thoughts everyday to keep us on track.

i ESP like the "don't finish that drink" if you slip.