Why am I a thread killer?

[irishlady]

Why am I a thread killer?

Hi Lushy, nice to see you are back.. I won't ask if you had a good vacation because that would necessitate an answer and I know how much you want this thread to die, so at great sacrifice to myself consider this thread dead...

[Quiescent]

Why am I a thread killer?

Dead thread?

[lushy]

Why am I a thread killer?

Oh well I cannot resist answering Irish because I had such a nice relaxing time. Thanks for your thoughtfulness.

[Beaches]

Why am I a thread killer?

IT's so nice to see that Lushy is back

[lushy]

Why am I a thread killer?

Let's discuss this on another thread, okay? One that is not dead perhaps?

[Beaches]

Why am I a thread killer?

Perhaps, she has a point.

[Beaches]

Why am I a thread killer?

Perhaps, she doesn't

[lushy]

Why am I a thread killer?

Yes, I do have a point, and I would appreciate that point being taken to heart now. Where is E when I need her?

[irishlady]

Why am I a thread killer?

William Shakespeare - To be, or not to be (from Hamlet 3/1)
To have a point or not to have a point that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous threads
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end it?? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The thread and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of threads what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long a thread,
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised threads, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare thread?? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary thread,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd thread from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to other threads that we know not of?
Thus threads do make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn to threads,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my threads remember'd.

[Beaches]

Why am I a thread killer?

OMG Irish I had to recite that in front of class in highschool

Aye, there's the rub

[Beaches]

Why am I a thread killer?

I think I will blame men

Not that they deserve it either, just seems like a good idea

[irishlady]

Why am I a thread killer?

The best idea yet.. To blame men I mean..

[Beaches]

Why am I a thread killer?

OK good I will draw up a memo, be right back

[Beaches]

Why am I a thread killer?

Memorandum IV-2 for men


1. Call.

2. Don't lie.

3. Never tape any of her body parts together.

4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.

5. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."

6. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"

7. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.

8. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.

9. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.

10. "Honey," "Darling," and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag," "Lard*ss,"
and "B*tch" are bad.

11. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.

12. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.

13. None of your ex-girlfriends was ever nicer, prettier, or better
in bed.

14. Her cooking is excellent.

15. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.

16. Dish soap is your friend.

17. Hat does not equal shower, after-shave does not equal soap, and
warm does not equal clean.

18. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.

19. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never
going to end that conversation.

20. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"

21. Two words: clean socks.

22. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're
all sweaty.

23. Burping is not sexy.

24. You're wrong.

25. You're sorry.

26. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car
than you think she is.

27. Ditto for your discourse on football.

28. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single
bound.

29. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad.

30. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.

31. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.

32. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels
like at that particular moment in time, and it could change
without notice.

33. Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11pm.

34. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.

35. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.

36. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like
a complete jerk until she does it for you.

37. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.

38. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.

39. Always, always suck up to her brother.

40. Think boxers. Silk boxers.

41. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so names.

42. Don't try to change the way she dresses.

43. Her haircut is never bad.

44. Don't let your friends pick on her.

45. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact
that she has to go through labor while you sit on your butt in
the waiting room, smoking cigars, isn't fair either, and it
balances everything.

[Beaches]

Why am I a thread killer?

Good thing I live by no rules