Mods to abs via positive thinking?

[ScoobyDoo]

I'm not sure if what I'm thinking is powerful... or just plain stupid :H It's a bit hard to explain but I'll try, as I'm curious to see if anyone else is thinking similar.

Here's where I'm at. I made the decision 3 weeks ago to put a stop/control to my drinking and at the same time read up and adopted the MWO programme with open arms.

I have been really getting into the hypno CD's and have ordered some more from MWO as well as from other suppliers, so I don't get complacent with the current set. I'm doing s Raj yoga retreat and learning up on Buddhism. Abstaining during the week and mods on the week and so far, have been doing it successfully and with a positive attitude, so it's all good.

So here comes the part where I'm wondering if I'm kidding myself... I keep thinking that maybe... just maybe, with all the positive focus on lifestyle change as opposed to the negative focus on *Not drinking*, (don't laugh) abstaining might just kind of... fall into my lap, not out of necessity, but out of a choice, and for bigger reasons. ie that I'll eventually drop drinking on the weekends out of my life because... well because I feel better in my soul with meditation, and will prefer a life that I can enjoy with a clear head.

It's early days for me but I'm feeling really confident with my week night abs. I have already dropped the idea of having a drink during the week and this week I've noticed that it's not even entering my head to have a glass of wine. It's like I've flicked the off switch in my head about drinking on weeknights and wow, do I feel good about it! It's only my 2nd week of week night abs, so it's really early days for me.

I'm not pressuring myself in any way about this but I can't help keep wondering if this is what might end up being the case and if it turns out to be the way, then I think I'll be doing it for greater reasons other than just a healthy liver, and healthier parenting and I think this would also mean permanent abstinence without a cringe factor.

Maybe I'm just fooling myself, but maybe it could come to fruition... only time will tell along with continued meditation and getting into the Buddhist way of thinking and feeling.

I recognise that it's taken years of progressive drinking to be where I am now, and it could take a long time to modify my psyche and behaviour back to a time when I didn't drink at all.

Anyone else doing abs during the week having similar thoughts to me, or do you think I'm just fooling myself? I'd like to think it could become a reality when it's meant to be.

And if you got to the bottom of this bloody long post - bloody well done! :H

Doo

[Beaches]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Hi Doo, well I certainly think you have the right mind set to achieve whatever you set out to achieve. The path you are going seems to be leading you to a path of complete abstinance and that sounds exactly like what you want. Just keep it up and I do believe that is exactly what you will get!

[Guest]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Doo.

I hope that mods people dont mind me responding to this post... I think this is the first time i've ever been on mods.

When I started out here (a year and four months ago) I just wanted to change. I hadnt made the decision for abstinence, but I knew that I needed a bit of abstinence to get my head straight. My goal was for moderation. Over time that changed, but the argument in my head still gets raised sometimes.

My husband challenged me the other week because as you may or may not know, i'm now an abstinence freak and have fully embrased this as part of my life.. so I was waxing lyrical one time about how some people were getting drunk and anyway, he challenged me saying that not all people who get drunk are alcoholics. I find this very challenging because of my rabid abstinence approach.

I suppose, when I reflect on it, he is right (dont I just hate that!!).. but I do think that most who come to a forum such as this come only after a period of time where they have tried or thought of trying to stop and have failed. This means (to me).. that most here are not what my husband might call normal {jeesh.. that means i'm not normal} or at least we have had larger problems than most in giving up the grog or having a normal relationship with it.

For me, I resisted abstinence for years... (this may amaze some of you here who know me now).. but it is only through continued abstinence that I have turned my life around. Does this mean my path is for everyone.. no (but of course, i also think yes to this, cos i'm only human!!!) but i know that others have different lives and different choices. What i can say is that its my truth that i couldnt be where i am now and moderate, because to me, my truth is that moderation is for someone who didnt have my drinking or personal past.

So my journey to abstinence came kind of slowly. I started out and tried it and then I found that my overriding feeling was I dont want to 'go back'. This has been my impetus. To drink, for me is to go back or to at least go on the edge of that abyss.. and i've been there done that and i'm over it.

It seems as if your journey to abstinence has happened another way... but what does come through in your post is you are listening to your honest truth gut instinct.. and I'd say follow that.. if it has got you to clear thinking about what is right for you.. then go for it.

If your gut is telling you to stick with it.. then stick with it and see what your gut tells you then.

And good luck to you.
Brigid

[ScoobyDoo]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Thanks for your support and encouragement Beaches. You are such a good supporter on this site!

And Brigid a big thank you too! I was contemplating posting this on the ABS forum as well, so I appreciate your perspective.

2 weeks ago, I swore I wanted to be a mods gal, the kind that will have a bottle of wine with friends on a Saturday night and kick my heels up, but it's just been the past week or so that I've been slowly questioning the way I am viewing this. I think it's the years of social conditioning that has made me want to be a moderator, and continue drinking, but maybe there are greater reasons as to why I should abstain. Gee, it's hard to explain.

It's like, I don't want to think of becoming an abstainer as a punishment to myself (ie like being on a diet for the rest of my life) but do it because of the spiritual growth (if that's how I could label it) I will get to experience and appreciate every single day. If I were to moderate (with success) how would having a bottle of wine with friends allow me to fully appreciate the experience of that time with me friends? I don't think it would enhance my experiences whereas in the past I would have viewed that bottle of wine as enhancing the evening/night out.

I think the meditation and reading up on Buddhism is what is changing my overall attitudes.

Time will tell, and right now, I feel great regardless.

Thanks again for your good wishes Brigid and Congratulations to the new you!

Doo

[Deniselb]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Thanks Doo,
I know what you mean. For me, I just couldn't bear the thought nor would I succeed in a program that insists on never drinking again. I am currently moderating, drinking 1-2 on weekends only. It's working for now, can't say it's been easy but I'm sticking to it so far
(1 month). Who knows I may give up drinking completely down the road but for now moderating is my goal.

[Allie]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Hi Doo!
Just want to say first off, I dont think I've ever personally said welcome to you here although I've really enjoyed reading your posts. Your sense of humor and presence here is refreshing!

Having been here a little over a year, I have seen many people reach a place of abstinence. That path is different for each person, although I think positive thinking is almost always a common element! I think that is probably one of the biggest keys to the freedom we all seek from the bondage of alcohol, because to think that we have to be a slave to it to begin with is a lie. But yet somehow we all have found ourselves seeking help and support here. Obviously there are different levels of addiction, but it all starts in the mind, with a choice we make to drink. I know for me, I physically feel terrific when I do NOT drink, but it is the "mental battle" that I deal with. I feel "bored and restless". So I have to learn new habits and new thought patterns, and yes positive thinking to stomp out those thoughts that are negative. I am not Buddhist, but I think positive thinking is a key element no matter what choice of faith we choose, and sounds like you are making huge strides in this battle with the booze!

Good on you Doo!
Allie

[dilayne]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Hello Doo...Just a quickie here...it sounds like if you continue on the path that you are on, especially the yoga and meditation, you will be guided to do what is best for you, and that could very well be abstinence....you may have found what you were looking for in the alcohol else where...they don't call em' 'spirits' by accident. If you are connecting with a higher spirit..your need for the 'A' could just fall to the way side. Keep an eye open though, because desires..of any kind, have a way of slipping in the back door without you ever knowing. Best of luck and big kudos to you!
Dianne

[Guest]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Doo...

You are spot on about not wanting abstinence to be a punishment for yourself. This is a critical issue, I reckon. I reckon if it is a punishment then we would fail. If we see it as a punishment then at some point we will want a reward and that would be the slip. If it is to work, then it cant be a punishment.

I reckon when i started out, I thought it might be a punishment.. that was my fear. It wasnt till I worked out that it was a reward (for me) that it made it ok for me. I find the reverse of what I thought at the beginning is now the truth for me. Abstinence is my reward... so in that sense, I relate to your approach through your buddisim journey....

I think you are also spot on on the social conditioning. You read it lots here on this forum, people worrying about owning up to not drinking and how will 'others' react to them not drinking.. that is our social conditioning. However, just like with the punishment issue.. once we work through it, its no big deal.. the not drinking remains the reward.. again, you read it here when people succeed, its quite a high for them.

I also think its important to embrase all parts of health.. spiritual, personal, physical, emotional in tracking your path to happiness.

One word of caution, I'd just say quickly, is that while things are new and 'project like' its quite easy to stay on track. As you continue your journey, whichever path you take, remain vigilant and stay conscious, so that your choices are through positive decisions.

Brigid

[ScoobyDoo]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Denise, it's nice to know we're on the same path with it. I haven't chosen to abstain completely as yet either.

Thanks Allie! Everything you've mentioned has hit the mark with me. I am coming to believe that Moderation is the key for a lot of drinkers in choosing to become abstainers down the track.

Diane, yes... this is going to be the interesting part regarding whether the old pattern returns. Not wanting to sound AA'ish, but I'm taking it a day at a time, but also mapping out each week ahead too. I had to laugh at your 'spirits' reference. lol

Brigid.. yep, I tend to be a project kind of person, so am very conscious of the fact that one day I could find myself back to my old patterns (cringe). The fact that I'm conscious of it may not prevent it from happening. The meditations and Buddhism learning seems to be a way of life which can be taken up as a total long term menatlity and lifestyle... I'm so new to it! So I can only hope that the Buddhism practice is what ultimately converts me to abstinence, when I reach that point.

Brigid, I really appreciate and respect how far you've come in your own journey. Happy vibes from me to you! Your positive attitudes vibes shine through in your posts.

Bernie

[julie001]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Doo,

I absolutely have had the same feelings as you about perhaps progressing to abstinence even thought that was not my initial intent. In fact, just a little bit ago I posted a thread related to exactly what you are talking about. This MYO program really does change your thinking, both consciously and unconsciously. It's amazing really. Let's keep our fingers crossed!

Julie

[ScoobyDoo]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Hey Julie, I'd love to read the thread that you wrote, so if you get a minute and can find it, please post, so I can have a read.

Yes, let's keep those fingers crossed

Doo

[Guest]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Bernie,
I think it took me till 3 months abs before I thought I'd stay that way. Maybe those first 3 months were while I was changing my mindset from punishment to reward. Certainly my first three weeks felt like a lifetime and I'll never forget that and that was a huge motivator for me not to try to drink. Even nearing a year sober, I had a month where I really thought... maybe I could go to mods.. but that was my head not acting straight. At the beginning I did commit to making any decision to drink very consciously and that helped me stay abs till I was happy with it. Funny thing is that now I reckon I might be able to drink cos I've sorted myself out.. so why dont I? Well, I think a) its not worth the risk.. and b) why go back to something that brought me to this site as a total wreck and c) I'm happy this way so why change THAT.

One other thing that I did when i started out was meditation also. I hadnt really done that stuff before (too arty farty for me).. but i have to say I'm a total convert. My meditation hasnt been based on buddism.. it really was guided meditations for heart chakras and transathon music. Sometimes I resist meditation.. I dont know why.. even now... but its something that is very important to me and I always feel better afterwards.

I think i've said this before.. I think that nearly anything done with the right intention can turn your life around.. it can be buddism.. it can be god.. it can be a tragic event.. it can be facing your demons.. but at some point you stop playing around with the thought that your life can change and you realise that you simply have to DO it for it to happen. In some respects you fake it till you make it (well I did) and I also think if the intention is right then you change a range of things and you dont just get sober but you tackle your happiness... and THATS where the long term belief that I could succeed came in for me.

From what you say, i reckon the buddist approach could be easier than the way that I did it. However, my intention was solid and my determination grew as time went on.

You sound like you are talking sense to me... (you too Julie)... and thanks for the nice words.. that was a lovely feel good moment in my day.

Brigid

[julie001]

Mods to abs via positive thinking?

Doo,

I posted the thread I mentioned in General Discussion. It was called An Unexpected Perk.
Like I said, it was like we had the same train of thought.

Julie