Is the mods group still active?

[Persephone1]

Is the mods group still active?

Hello Gang...how is it that I keep finding myself on the Mod threads? LOL! Welcome Persimmon, don't know what happened in your initial encounter this go around, but I do hope that has been resolved and that you've found a comfortable place to share. I guess I should read back and educate myself...I would really like to get to know you :l

I will make my 'disclaimer' upfront, I am a bonafide abstainer. My internal 'you've hit your limit' gauge has long been broken, if indeed it ever worked! I've already drank up my lifetimes share of alcohol and I'm fine with that. That said, I very much appreciate the acceptance and attitude on these threads, much like the meds threads. I wanted to share a few thoughts that this topic brought up & hope that's ok...

Eve11;1481750 wrote: Thanks for your thoughts FreeFly. I hear what you're saying and it really does bother me when someone feels somebody has come down real hard on them so that is why I personally think a more gentler approach is always the way to go Eve11

I didn't realize until coming upon this thread, how big of an issue this has been for me trying to find my 'place' on this site. It can be a significant 'trigger' for me and often causes me to 'shrink into my shell' until I'm clear about what I'm feeling/thinking. So, I suppose in that aspect it's ultimately good for me. But, I often feel like just walking away from it. I'm glad I hung in there and that I'm finally coming into my own.

Since being on this site for the past coupla months, I have witnessed plenty of admonishing and inflammatory comments and feedback. I personally do NOT respond favorably to being spoken to like a child, or an ignorant/unintelligent person who can't think for myself, or as if I don't have any ability to rationally process a particular rant going on in my head. I really & truly realize that I've made some poor decisions and that I have to deal with the consequences that excessive alcohol consumption has had on my life, in totality. But being 'whacked upside the head' and spoken to and treated like an idiot is insulting and not helpful to me at all. I have plenty of critical voices going off in my head that I'm trying to keep in check (perhaps WHY I drank to excess?) that I certainly do NOT need external ones. I think there are countless ways to say helpful things to others that do NOT require belittling, condescending comments.

Sadly, I think there are people who, while possibly well intentioned, NEED to tell others what to do, how to do it and how to feel about it once they've done so! Nothing repels me faster than this kind of person and I will steer clear in every area of my life, PARTICULARLY MY RECOVERY. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that MWO is set-up to be just that ~ MY. WAY. OUT. We individually get to decide how our recovery program goes down, it's not a one size fits all. What a gift & there for the taking for each of us. :h

Thanks for all of your wisdom & kindness and for allowing me to share : P.

[kuya]

Is the mods group still active?

freethinker;1481249 wrote: persimmon,

I still stick by what I said in my first post based on personal experience, but to be fair, I read the posts on your thread and although there may have been one or two edgy remarks fly your way, I think the overall treatment you got was very decent and receptive. kuya is a member who is winning a serious battle and has a certain communication style that I don't think was meant to intentionallly insult you or hurt you.

I really feel for you being in physical pain and possibly facing your mortality. I'm sure most of those other posters would say the same thing. If you can accept me being frank, I think you may have overreacted and got a bit too defensive and let them run you off.

If you can't take pain meds and feel the real need to drink to ease physical suffering, I understand. However, if that's the best path for you, then I suggest seeking council here as I said before. I wish you some peace in your suffering.

Thank you Freethinker for actually taking the time to read the posts that were behind Persimmons remarks........it would appear you may be the ONLY one who did.

I did NOT tell her what to do, I said RUBBISH to the idea that sixty was 'past help'.

The rest of this drama show has resulted from that. Frankly the woman was vile over what was encouragement to her own comments.

Nobody JUMPED on her, nobody was TYRANNICAL, nobody beat her upside her head.

IF SHE HAD SAID SHE ONLY WANTED TO REDUCE HER DRINKING THEN SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN DIRECTED TO THE MODERATERS THREAD.

END OF !

Arrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

[freethinker]

Is the mods group still active?

kuya;1482160 wrote: Thank you Freethinker for actually taking the time to read the posts that were behind Persimmons remarks........it would appear you may be the ONLY one who did.

I did NOT tell her what to do, I said RUBBISH to the idea that sixty was 'past help'.

The rest of this drama show has resulted from that. Frankly the woman was vile over what was encouragement to her own comments.

Nobody JUMPED on her, nobody was TYRANNICAL, nobody beat her upside her head.

IF SHE HAD SAID SHE ONLY WANTED TO REDUCE HER DRINKING THEN SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN DIRECTED TO THE MODERATERS THREAD.

END OF !

Arrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Calm down there friend. I think you're telling all this to the wrong person. I defended you, remember? It's time to move on from this. Too much negative energy being wasted on this matter. I told Persimmon what I felt she needed to hear in a peaceful, respectful manner. Ultimately, she needs to help herself and stay on the mod boards.

[Eve11]

Is the mods group still active?

kuya;1482160 wrote: Thank you Freethinker for actually taking the time to read the posts that were behind Persimmons remarks........it would appear you may be the ONLY one who did.

I did NOT tell her what to do, I said RUBBISH to the idea that sixty was 'past help'.

kuya,

You and I worked together in the past to solve some issues here at MWO and I have held you in high regard since our last project. I didn't respond to this situation with Persimmon as it was bothersome to me. I think it just has to be one of those things that we've discussed here at MWO, and that is the fact that when we can't see faces, hear tone, etc. things can be very misconstrued.

In my opinion your comment to her post made me think "Oh, man, she is going to get defensive about this!" and she did. She was merely stating her concern with being 60 and questioning whether she was too old to help herself. Your response reminded me of the movie Moonstruck with Cher and Nicholas Cage when she slaps his face and tells him "Snap out of it!" So, it was a real tough love approach of sharing that you're almost the same age and why age shouldn't be an issue, so it could have been a positive tough love post but when you added the two lines of "Put the bottle down and regain your life." and "You need to sort your head out and decide you want to LIVE not drown in wine" it just sounded too brash for someone who has returned to MWO from being scared in the past of posting and who frankly sounded real depressed. Then when she did react defensively, rather than trying to rectify the situation you responded by saying "WOW......good luck lady........ I apologise for not having psychic skills". I didn't even understand what that meant...the psychic skills part? Anyway, I just wanted to share that I read the thread over there and took things a different way than some of the other people over there who know you and better understood your intent. Just a lesson again that the online world can be challenging as things can really be misunderstood sometimes.

Peace,
Eve11

[kuya]

Is the mods group still active?

@ Eve11..........Thanks for taking the time to read the thread. If you were aware of the possibility for misunderstanding....how come you said nothing ? We have PMed plenty in the past, so ??

Unfortunately I assumed that someone who had been here before would be less.....delicate.

I would have thought 'put the bottle down' would apply to anyone moderating or abstaining and I didn't sense depression..........just concern at the amount drunk and her professional licence.
The psychic comment was with regard to not knowing she had three years to live, so saying 'rubbish' to being sixty seemed appropriate.

What any of this has to do with abstainence versus moderation dog only knows......but it has turned into that old chestnut ...........again.

There is absolutely NO reason why moderators can't be more active in welcoming new members........very often I say hi because I remember how awful it was sitting waiting for a reply when I first joined MWO.

I think you are right, Eve, I am too tough love so will stick to chatting with my mates and leave the delicate task of greeting to more sensitive folk like yourself.

[Guitarista]

Is the mods group still active?

Hi all,

Hi Persimmons! Welcome back.

I hope you stick around friend. Our's is a personal journey.

Do what you have to do, and use the many positives this site has to offer.

Best wishes on your journey.

G bloke.

[freethinker]

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kuya;1482258 wrote:
I think you are right, Eve, I am too tough love so will stick to chatting with my mates and leave the delicate task of greeting to more sensitive folk like yourself.

kuya,

Your edginess has a certain lovableness to it . Passion is a good thing ! BTW, your "reborn" date is my birthday.

[persimmon]

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Greetings, Everyone--

I'm hoping that what I'm writing makes sense; I've had almost no sleep since Tuesday morning. Only two glasses of wine over the past five days. No significant cravings except as for as a soporific to enable me to sleep against pain but I haven't been giving into it. Tonight I intend to drink one or two glasses of wine. I absolutely must get some sleep. I wish that there was some med that would help me sleep and not lose its potency after a week or two. Bright wishes to everyone!

[freethinker]

Is the mods group still active?

Hi persimmon,

Getting quality sleep is extremely important. You mentioned about planning to have a couple of glasses of wine .Then you followed that with "I've got to get some sleep..." Based on the research I've done as well as personal experiemnce, a couple of drinks may make it a bit easier to fall asleep quicker but will ultimately interfere with the REM cycle and the quality of your sleep.

Even though this is a moderation thread and I'm a modder myself, drinking in the evening does affect sleep. Think about other ways to relax yourself in the evening. Also, I'm aware of your stated health issues and pain management challenges. Here's a helpful link from helpguide.org that may give you some useful tips on sleeping better. Good luck!

Sleep Help Guide - Helpguide.org

[persimmon]

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Thanks, Freethinker. The amount of alcohol I consume does not interfere with my sleep. In that I am quite lucky!

[New Day]

Is the mods group still active?

Hello everyone.......I think I may join you if that's okay. I had done 40 AF at the beginning of the year, and have been moderating now and again......with more AF days than not and certainly a lot more than I ever have. I have been posting on the Newbies Nest mostly, but I don't mention moderating there for obvious reasons.

I hope to continue feeling like I have over the past couple of months, and that is feeling great, but still able to enjoy a couple of drinks now and then. I am very aware of how that might slide to drinking more, so I'm wanting to keep posting to stay on top of it instead of going off on my own at the moment.

P.s. Ally....good to see you back! How's the treadmill?

[freethinker]

Is the mods group still active?

Hi New Day!

Glad to have you in this neck of the woods. I moderate but may go AF in April because I want to watch every calorie and try to lose a couple of inches on my waistline.

Moderating should not be an obstacle to feeling good. Of course, you're feeling good now so you know what it's like. You've been AF for 40 so you know how good that made you feel. I'm growing indifferent to alcohol to the point that I feel I can go back and forth between periods of AF and moderation. I look forward to more observations from you.