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    #1

    Failed and foiled!

    Dear members,
    I need a little moral support. I can't believe I was unable to moderate the way I wanted to yesterday. Went to a big easter dinner with a lot of families and everyone was drinking a lot! I was so proud sipping on my seltzer and cranberry juice and figured I'd reward myself the one glass of wine with the dinner. That went great and I swtiched back to the seltzer and then people started talking about different reds - why a cabernet was superior to a merlot, why this wine was better than that and before I knew it I was allowing myself the 2nd glass of wine because I've told myself I can have up to two at a drawn out long event. But why why why did I end up having the third and then the fourth! I have so much remorse today. Feel crappy, demotivated and depressed. Now I am questioning whether I can really even moderate! I am just so blue at the moment!! :-( and truly scared that I may have to totally abstain if I am unable to moderate~
    "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

    ~Jack Welsh~:h

    God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:
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    #2
    Failed and foiled!

    Eve sweetie, works in progress, we are all just works in progress. You may be able to do this, but after awhile. When you are feeling a little to raw or new to this, maybe ABS is the way to go. Did you do the 30 days AF to start? I don't know your history.

    Only you can make the decision for the day, for the week, the month your lifetime, those are your choices and they are not easy to do sometimes.

    Hang in there today is a new day. Hugs, Mary

    Comment

      #3
      Failed and foiled!

      This journey is a very slippery slope at times. I drank too many mimosas yesterday but, today I am back in the saddle and taking all my supps. Chin up and know you are not alone and this does not make you a bad person. A big part of success will be in having a positive attitude. Please don't beat yourself up. Learn from mistakes and move onward and upward.
      Sometimes I wonder...."Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.

      Comment

        #4
        Failed and foiled!

        Hello Eve dear.
        Do not give up. My ecxperience is that , the longer I have stayed sober the worse I binged next time I drink. It is a very hard road to get. I have to stay sober, I have tried so many times to moderate but I can not. Maybe you can do it, I do not know.
        Keep up the good work and we will always be here for you and understand you.
        Take care

        Comment

          #5
          Failed and foiled!

          Hi Eve,
          I drank too much yesterday as well. Today is a new day and you can do this, we all can. Having the slips are what makes it just a little easier the next time do to overdo it.

          "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

          Comment

            #6
            Failed and foiled!

            Hi Eve - Like everyone said, give yourself some time and don't be too hard on yourself. You will find a combination of what works for you. I've had to try for more AF days because it was getting away from me. That seems to help me. But everyone is different. Hang in there - you will find what works for you!
            Hawk

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              #7
              Failed and foiled!

              Eve, you've been given great advice here. It is a work in progress. When I first started moderating, I too would have times of regression, especially when something took me by surprise. Its good that you have taken the time to determine what happened that triggered you to drink because you will be stronger next time. The fact that you made it so far into the day was awesome.

              Don't be too hard on yourself. This is a difficult journey, but it can be a successful one. Keep up the good work -- you will do better next time.

              Good luck,
              MM
              Saving the day one minute at a time!

              Comment

                #8
                Failed and foiled!

                hi everyone.
                i'm back too. i felt once or twice that i'd done it, the cravings went, i managed just the one or two at the weekend, then on sunday i completely over did it - and I KNEW what i was doing. Why o why? i feel a failure, again, and i really want to do this. i'm out tonight with friends, and i'm already feeling i may fail. i'm afraid to order the kudzu because my husband doesn't really know that i'm thinking about alcohol most of the time. Do others do this? Is it on your mind all the time? Does it pass? Tylyr

                Comment

                  #9
                  Failed and foiled!

                  Tylyr,
                  I have found that yes it is something that's on my mind all the time or at least during the hours where I would normally have my first drink. I constantly have to think about how many I will have, not to overdo it, remembering the hangovers etc. I am also hoping that one day it's not such an effort.
                  The kudzu is a life saver and makes it a lot easier to deal with. My husband doesn't really get it either but I ordered the kudzu and just put it in the medicine cabinet. He has never said a word.
                  "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Failed and foiled!

                    Hi all, yes to all above, think I am doing great, really chuffed with myself then bang, find a glass at my side and the bottle at my feet - ho hum. I know not to have the first glass if I don;t want to get drunk BUT there it is all the same. Also the thought of never ever being able to have a drink it just too scary.

                    Lorna
                    Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Failed and foiled!

                      thanks both above. it's good to know that others feel the same. yes, tea, the thought of never being able to get over this is scary. i've done over 40days in the past, then back it comes. I must seriously think of kudzu - thanks Beaches. Does anyone know how much the postage is to the UK ? i will keep posting, it's good when people answer. Tylyr

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Failed and foiled!

                        Hi Eve - I'm very new here and also trying to moderate - doing ok but its always on my mind too when I'm out. Been wondering a lot about the fact that a big night must be coming up soon (been moderating for 9 weeks now) that will get away from me but the work in progress thing must be true. How can we expect to just change habits straight away - is there anything wrong with the odd slip? For me I worry I'll slip next weekend - but i've done 9 weekends in a row! Isn't that a start? Its certainly 9 weekends I wouldn't have done before...same for you, don't beat yourself up by the odd slip - the more you manage it, the easier it'll get surely. I'm hoping i'll eventually 'retrain' my brain to start asking whether I really need another instead of automatically doing it - the more I do that then the more i'm surely likely to in the future. I definately think you can do it - it'll just take time - stick with it!!

                        Sam

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Failed and foiled!

                          Hiya Sensible Sam, not seen you before so just wanted to say welcome to ya, come on in.... this place has changed my life beyond belief and will do for you too if you want it to. Keep posting, there are lots who will respond, I don;t do much in the giving advice thing YET but am becoming more confident in myself with every day that I am a member here. All I can say to you is that whatever you are feeling at whatever time you will never be alone... always there is someone who will feedback to you either with advice or their own story... welcome again.

                          L
                          Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Failed and foiled!

                            Keep your chin up. I have been just down that road not to long ago. I am still feeling the regret.:blush:

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Failed and foiled!

                              just come home, and i did it. stayed on the coke and i feel really good. i was tempted, said no and it worked !!!! great Good night Tylyr

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